Chapter 74: Swindled by Auntie
Chapter 74: Swindled by Auntie
Creak!
Huff, huff, huff!
Before he knew it, the sky had dawned with a dusty gray light. Tang Jinbiao weakly pushed open the door of the outhouse, one hand resting on the door frame, looking completely drained. But strangely, despite appearing extremely frail, his face was exceptionally rosy, showing no signs of exhaustion at all.
“Damn, I probably ate some fake medicine! What kind of elixir gives you diarrhea after eating it?”
Tang Jinbiao leaned on the door frame and cursed listlessly.
Ever since he ate that Nirvana Pill last night, he had been having diarrhea nonstop. This bout lasted all night, emptying his insides completely, with not a single bit leftover.
Actually, Tang Jinbiao didn’t know that because he had been slacking off on training lately, his body had built up too much waste and filth. The Nirvana Pill was originally meant for marrow cleansing, bodily refinement, and strengthening vital energy, which explained why he felt on the verge of collapse but still had unending strength surging through him. Of course, the pill truly had issues, but Tang Jinbiao just wasn’t aware of them.
“Dammit, if I keep shitting like this, I’ll shit out my life! Fuck you, Wang Hanyu, this isn’t over between us!”
Tang Jinbiao lifted his foot, intending to leave the outhouse. But as soon as his front foot stepped out, his stomach instantly rumbled.
Gurgle!
“I Bought a Watch Last Year!”
Tang Jinbiao’s face paled instantly. He shouted the curse, then whipped around and slammed the door shut with a bang.
“Hmm?”
By this time, some members of the Tang Family were already up. Little Lv seemed to be heading over to relieve herself, but she overheard Tang Jinbiao’s curses from a distance. She tilted her head, looking confused and not understanding what was going on.
…
Time flowed by, and it was noon!
“Ah, this nearly took my life!”
Tang Jinbiao felt he had finally emptied his body completely. He collapsed heavily onto the bed, experiencing an illusion of survival after a near-death ordeal.
This bout of diarrhea was extremely severe for Tang Jinbiao, thinning him out a whole layer. The slight flab from before vanished entirely, leaving only a lean frame that actually made him look more handsome. And what baffled him was that even though he felt utterly drained, his body seemed to hold immense power, with no fatigue at all.
“Ah, but it felt so damn good! Hell, if women used this stuff for weight loss, wouldn’t the effect be ridiculously strong?”
Tang Jinbiao glanced up at the corner of the room and yelled out in exhilaration.
Although this diarrhea made him feel like he’d lost half his life, his body gained greater strength. He even had the illusion that just from this one bout, he’d reached the middle stage of the First Rank of Body Refining!
Of course, as for his crazy idea of using the Nirvana Pill as a diet drug for women, he had no idea if Wang Hanyu would be driven to kill him if she heard about it.
The true value of the Nirvana Pill was beyond Tang Jinbiao’s understanding. For one thing, the fire Phoenix’s heart-blood essence was a rare treasure that few could ever obtain, and the sheer power of the fire Phoenix was something Tang Jinbiao couldn’t even imagine.
Knock, knock, knock!
“Young Master, Tang Hu and the others are here to see you. Will you meet them?”
Just as Tang Jinbiao was resting in bed, Little Lv’s voice came from outside the door, followed by her speaking up.
“Huh? What are Ah Hu and the others here for?”
Tang Jinbiao sat up, puzzled about why Tang Hu and his group would come now. After all, regarding the Azure Dragon Pool incident, Tang Hu and the others had had their memories wiped by the Elders and had forgotten all about it.
“Fine, let them in!”
Tang Jinbiao muttered to himself for a while, too lazy to guess any further, and spoke out loud.
“Yes!”
Outside, Little Lv replied, and then the tapping sound of shoes stepping on the ground was heard as Little Lv left.
“Ah, so boring!”
After Little Lv had gone, Tang Jinbiao felt a bit bored and sighed.
……
A short while later, Little Lv came back again, bringing along Tang Hu and the others.
“Young Master, please chat, I’ll take my leave now!”
Little Lv seemed to notice something different about Tang Jinbiao, carefully sizing him up, but didn’t say much more, just answered politely and left, leaving only Tang Hu and his group in the room.
“Hmm!”
Tang Jinbiao nodded and remained silent.
“Brother Biao!”
“Brother Biao!”
After Little Lv left, Tang Hu and the others called out one after another.
“Hmm, hmm, hmm, Ah Hu, what’s the matter?”
Tang Jinbiao greatly enjoyed being called Brother Biao, nodding incessantly, and asked.
“Brother Biao, what’s wrong?”
“Brother Biao, weren’t you heartbroken?”
“Brother Biao, don’t dwell on it!”
“Brother Biao, you…”
When they entered, they spotted at first glance that Tang Jinbiao had lost a lot of weight, his whole body much thinner, and each showed worried expressions, but before they finished speaking, Tang Jinbiao cut them off.
“Alright, I know, I didn’t dwell on it, I just took a Nirvana Pill last night, but unexpectedly, I had diarrhea all night!”
Tang Jinbiao ground his teeth in anger as he recalled the effect of that Nirvana Pill.
“What?”
“Brother Biao, what kind of Elixir did you say you just took?”
“Brother Biao, are you not joking?”
Upon hearing Tang Jinbiao’s words, Tang Hu and the others wore shocked expressions.
Thud!
After seeing their expressions, Tang Jinbiao felt slightly startled, with an uneasy premonition.
“Ah Hu, what is it? Last night, I took a Nirvana Pill, is there something wrong?”
Although he didn’t quite understand the issue, Tang Jinbiao still asked.
“Brother Biao, after taking it, besides diarrhea, didn’t you have any other symptoms? Like feeling fiery hot all over, your blood qi surging inside, almost as if your body might burst?”
Tang Hu, with a sense of disbelief, weakly inquired.
“Hmm… No, not really. All night long, aside from having diarrhea, there weren’t any extra sensations. Could something be wrong?”
Tang Jinbiao was slightly dazed, seeming somewhat puzzled.
“Brother Biao, aren’t you running a fever? Did you fry your brain? No, wait, it doesn’t seem like there are any fever symptoms!”
Tang Hu, upon hearing this, reached out and placed his hand on Tang Jinbiao’s forehead, but discovered Tang Jinbiao’s body temperature was perfectly normal, leaving him momentarily unsure what to say.
“Ah Bi, you tell me, could taking that Nirvana Pill have any bad side effects?”
Tang Jinbiao couldn’t be bothered with Tang Hu, brushed his hand away, turned around, and asked Tang Bi.
“Brother Biao, isn’t that just nonsense? Hold on, I need to check first if you’re lying to me—look into my eyes, God-Slaying Ga… Ah!”
Tang Bi’s expression turned serious, seeming confused by Tang Jinbiao’s behavior, but before he could finish saying “look into my eyes, God-Slaying Gaze,” Tang Jinbiao, already agitated, slapped him directly.
“Ah Xing, you tell me!”
Tang Jinbiao turned his head and questioned Tang Xing.
“Haha… Haha… Ah!”
Tang Xing, seeing Tang Jinbiao ask him, started laughing loudly, but before he could finish laughing, he immediately received a beating from the others.
“What the hell are you laughing at? Ah Bu, you say it!”
Reluctantly, Tang Jinbiao had to pin his hopes on the youngest one, Tang Bu.
“Brother… Brother… Brother Biao, I… I…”
Tang Bu, being timid, started to stutter as soon as he realized Tang Jinbiao was questioning him.
“I…”
Tang Jinbiao was speechless and finally had to get Tang Hu to explain everything.
“Ah Hu, you better be the one to tell me!”
After going around in circles with no results, Tang Jinbiao almost felt like pulling out his Watermelon Cleaver in anger.
“Brother Biao, are you sure you took the Nirvana Pill?”
Tang Hu asked with a hint of uncertainty.
“It was definitely the Nirvana Pill! That was something that little loli sent me, and even the Family Head personally examined it. There shouldn’t be any problem!”
Tang Jinbiao replied with absolute certainty.
“Little loli?”
Tang Hu had never heard the term “loli” before and frowned slightly.
“That’s what you guys call Vice President Wang!”
Tang Jinbiao explained impatiently, but inwardly he felt furious, cursing silently. “Damn it, we’re definitely not from the same dimension!”
“What?”
Upon hearing the term Vice President Wang, Tang Hu’s face changed subtly.
“Whew, thank goodness. If it’s something given by Vice President Wang, then it couldn’t be anything but the Nirvana Pill!”
But then he relaxed and took a breath, with relief showing on his face as he spoke.
“Why?”
Tang Jinbiao felt a bit bewildered.
“Hah, Brother Biao, given that Vice President Wang is your Auntie, do you really not know her temper at all?”
Tang Hu, seeing Tang Jinbiao’s confused expression, appeared a bit resigned.
“Hmm…”
Not many knew about Tang Jinbiao’s amnesia, and these group members like Tang Hu naturally weren’t aware.
“In fact, at first, I wondered if Brother Biao might have taken the wrong pill. After all, the Nirvana Pill is incredible—ignoring its value for a moment, just its potency alone is massive. For Third-Tier or Fourth-Tier Body Refiners, taking it still has huge effects, and they couldn’t even refine it quickly—needing quite some time to gradually absorb the essence. Us low-tier Body Refiners, if we rashly consumed the Nirvana Pill, we might even explode and die. That’s why, when Brother Biao claimed he took the Nirvana Pill, we didn’t believe him. But since you said it was from Vice President Wang, that settles it!”
Tang Hu explained with a laugh, and even seemed to chuckle secretly when mentioning Vice President Wang giving the pill.
Tang Jinbiao remained bewildered.
But Tang Hu went on to explain. “Brother Biao, you don’t know, but Vice President Wang has a nickname—Little Annoyance! Hah, have you met Vice President Wang? She’s really petite and lively, looking like a fourteen- or fifteen-year-old girl. Without knowing her identity, you’d just think she’s a young girl, but she’s actually a two-hundred-year-old granny. Given her Cultivation Level, she could live seven or eight thousand, even ten thousand years without trouble, so that age is nothing! She’s also a powerful Tribulation Transcendent, with a Cultivation Level far beyond what we can imagine. Plus, she’s a vice president at the Divine Wind Academy. I’ve heard that among the dozen or so vice presidents there, each has weird quirks. One really loves Spirit Stones—give him some, and he’ll do anything for you. Another is obsessed with eating watermelon and supposedly cultivates without even using Spirit Stones, just by eating it. There’s one said to love smelling women’s smelly shoes, and the worse the smell, the better. All those vice presidents are weirdos, and naturally, your Auntie, Vice President Wang, has her own quirk—she loves pranking people!”
“This!”
Hearing Tang Hu’s Eight Trigrams news, Tang Jinbiao somehow felt dumbfounded—especially the part about liking to smell women’s smelly shoes. It disgusted him, and he couldn’t help but recall that in another dimension, someone also liked women’s stinky feet.
Tang Hu, after saying all this, seemed to have a secret to share. He glanced around, found no outsiders nearby, then leaned close to Tang Jinbiao’s ear and whispered softly. “Shh, Brother Biao, I’ll tell you an exclusive—I heard that Tang Yilin…”