Chapter 7: Shattering Perspectives
Chapter 7: Shattering Perspectives
This night passed exceedingly slow; Tang Jinbiao barely slept well at all. He spent the time incessantly contemplating, fantasizing about what miraculous change the big tree would undergo by the next day’s dawn. He only drifted into a fitful sleep when daybreak was almost upon him.
“Young Master, time to wake up!”
Little Lv’s voice called from outside his door around eight or nine in the morning.
“Dammit, how did I fall asleep?”
Tang Jinbiao jolted awake and rolled out of bed with a thud, the small Green Vial hidden in his clothes rolling away.
“How the hell did I fall asleep!”
Tang Jinbiao scrambled to put on his shoes, snatched the Green Vial from the floor, flung open the door, and charged toward the Back Hill without even glancing at Little Lv.
“Young Master! Young Master… You…”
Little Lv hadn’t even processed this before Tang Jinbiao vanished around the corner of the corridor. She could only shake her head helplessly, choosing not to give chase since Tang Jinbiao had just barely recovered.
“If this is the real deal, won’t this master hit the jackpot?”
Puffing and panting, Tang Jinbiao jogged toward the big tree, secretly fantasizing about how incredibly powerful he’d become in the future.
“Haha, once this master’s rich, I’ll go for washes every day… No, that sounds terrible. I’ll go where the refined scholars gather! Get Number Twenty-Eight every day! Yeah, that’s it, you! Number Three! You’re up!”
Tang Jinbiao even envisioned himself living the high life, frequenting the gatherings of refined scholars, swaggering in with effortless charm. He couldn’t help but titter internally.
Puff… Puff… Puff!
Once a person finds motivation, they become obsessive, even frenzied, in everything they do. Despite just recovering from a serious illness, Tang Jinbiao felt no trace of weakness or fatigue.
“Seems effective! Haha, my Number Twenty-Eight, this master’s coming!”
Just from the foot of the hill, Tang Jinbiao could already spot the large tree at the summit; it seemed even lusher than yesterday, filling him with immense joy. He didn’t know if it was wishful thinking or if the tree had genuinely grown a little.
Puff… Puff… Puff!
Tang Jinbiao tore up the hill like a mad dog at this moment, heedless of everything. He sprinted desperately towards the peak. The hundred-zhang high hill was conquered in the time it takes to eat a meal. Standing beneath the tree now, his chest heaved violently as he gasped for breath.
“Hah… Hah… Haha… This master’s made it! I’m about to turn this around! Life’s winner!”
Tang Jinbiao stumbled towards the big tree, panting heavily, out of breath.
…
“Dammit to your ancestors, you sunnavabitch! Playing me, are you?”
About a quarter of an hour later, Tang Jinbiao stood there radiating fury, viciously kicking the big tree while spewing a torrent of curses, as if determined to insult the tree’s entire lineage for eighteen generations.
“Dammit to your ancestors! Can’t you show a speck of promise for this master?! After I worked so hard giving you that mysterious liquid? Do you have any idea how hard it was for me?! I… I Bought a Watch Last Year (net slang, homophone for profanity)! It’s been a whole damn night and not a reaction?! Can’t you even grow?! Are you hard or not?! If you’re not hard, this master’ll chop you off!”
Tang Jinbiao raged uncontrollably; he felt only swearing could vent his current frustration. He needed to curse, not even bothering to understand why he was cursing. After all, in that other world, he’d held another title: one of Asia’s three pests – the Chinese Keyboard Warrior! (What? You don’t know the Asian pests? Seriously? Okay, basic knowledge drop: Japanese Devils, Korean Bangzi, and Chinese Keyboard Warriors!)
Thud! Thud! Thud!
Tang Jinbiao’s fifteen or sixteen-year-old body wasn’t fully mature yet, but it couldn’t be underestimated. Kick after solid kick slammed into the tree trunk, each more ferocious than the last, as if possessed by the very Demon King. At that moment, he felt towering like city inspectors, capable of kicking over stalls and crippling vendors with a single kick – absolutely no problem.
Thud! Thud! Thud!
The kicking lasted a good quarter hour, leaves scattering everywhere. Only when Tang Jinbiao felt his leg go numb did he finally stop. But he wasn’t finished. Unable to kick anymore, he resumed his tirade of curses.
“Fuck!”
“At least I traveled once, can’t you give me some opportunity?”
“Am I just going to remain trash? I don’t want to learn any Body Refining Technique, those painful and difficult paths aren’t for me!”
“Fuck…”
After cursing for about the duration of a meal, Tang Jinbiao finally felt his throat dry and his energy wane. He produced a bottle from somewhere, unscrewed it, and drank directly.
“Fuck! If I had a Watermelon Cleaver, I’d slice you seventy times! I’d spit a glob of phlegm before walking away! Pah!”
After a sip soothed his throat, Tang Jinbiao turned and resumed cursing at the massive tree behind him.
Anyone witnessing Tang Jinbiao’s inhuman behavior towards a tree would likely think him insane. What rage could possibly be directed at a tree?
“Fuck your mother… Huh? Where’d this water come from?”
Tang Jinbiao took another gulp, then turned to curse again, but suddenly froze, realizing something was amiss.
His gaze fell to his hand, where a small Green Vial was clenched tightly.
He stared blankly for a moment before his expression twisted into profound horror.
“Am I really this unlucky?”
Too accustomed to bottled water from his previous world, the habit had lingered. Now, realizing he’d swallowed that mysterious green liquid, Tang Jinbiao’s face drained of all color.
“Can’t I die this young? I’m still a virgin!”
“Brother! I’m begging you, brother! I know I was wrong! Brother, please give me a chance! I’m so young! I hope it was just water, green tea… not spiritual liquid! I swear it’s sincere! If I’m lying, may all those handsome, rich guys get hit by cars!”
Panicked by the potential severity, Tang Jinbiao hurled the Green Vial away and frantically kowtowed towards the sky.
“Ahh, no! My throat!”
“Ahh, no! My chest is burning up! I’m gonna burn alive!”
“Save me! My tongue! My tongue’s falling off!”
“Ahh! My eyes!”
“Teacher Cang, save me…”
As he pleaded, terrifying sensations erupted across his body, and the shadow of death closed in…
…
“Young Master, time to eat!”
About half an hour later, Little Lv finally found him. From a distance, she saw Tang Jinbiao weeping and laughing hysterically beneath the large tree. Though bewildered, the dinner hour left no time for questions.
“Huh? I’m alive?”
Hearing Little Lv, the prone Tang Jinbiao, who’d lain like a dead dog, suddenly regained a shred of clarity and muttered softly.
“No way? I definitely felt unbearable heat engulfing me earlier. How could nothing happen? Impossible?”
Little Lv reached him by then, looking down with utter confusion.
“Damn, wrecking my worldview… Even a girl like this has a double chin?”
Tang Jinbiao cracked his eyes open slightly. From his low angle, he somehow caught a faint glimpse of Little Lv’s double chin.
“Young Master, it’s time for lunch!”
Little Lv naturally had no idea what Tang Jinbiao was thinking about. She urged him, but midway through speaking, she seemed to notice something. A peculiar expression appeared on her face as she looked at Tang Jinbiao, her features twisting into one of disgust as she stared at him.
“Hmm? What’s wrong?”
Tang Jinbiao noticed Little Lv’s unnatural expression and frowned, asking her.
As she spoke, Little Lv suddenly flushed bright red, looking too embarrassed to continue, “Young Master, I never thought you could actually… actually…”
Tang Jinbiao was even more confused now, asking uncomprehendingly, “Hmm? What exactly did I do?”
“It’s too embarrassing to say!”
Little Lv’s small face burned with shyness as she turned away, feeling like Tang Jinbiao was deliberately trying to annoy her.
“I…”
Tang Jinbiao was utterly bewildered, completely unable to understand why Little Lv had become like this in the blink of an eye.
“Young Master, you’ve turned bad too!”
Little Lv grew both more embarrassed and annoyed.
“But I haven’t done anything at all? How have I turned bad?”
Tang Jinbiao was completely flummoxed. He genuinely hadn’t done anything, so how could she accuse him of turning bad?
“Pah! Shameless! You already bought that kind of thing and still refuse to admit it!”
Little Lv spat lightly, her gaze drifting deliberately towards a patch of empty ground not far from Tang Jinbiao. Where her eyes landed was precisely the spot where the Green Vial lay.
“Hmm?”
Tang Jinbiao naturally noticed the slight difference in the way Little Lv was looking at the Green Vial. Or rather, the feeling it gave him was exactly like when he’d been caught watching Japanese mature films secretly as a child; the feeling of being discovered by a parent.
Tang Jinbiao eyed the small vial in his mind and muttered, “Could it be because of that thing?”
“Pah! Shameless! How mortifying!”
Little Lv didn’t want to engage with Tang Jinbiao any longer. With a light spit, her face crimson, she turned and ran down the mountain path.
“I…”
Finding Little Lv had indeed run away left Tang Jinbiao standing there utterly dazed and confused. Right now, he desperately needed a guru to point him towards enlightenment. Enlightenment? More like an explanation for baffling girl behavior!
He turned his scrutiny back to the bottle on the ground. He had initially thought it could be the legendary Green Vial within the rumors concerning the elusive Han Paopao. However, after his own experiment with the bottle’s contents—a rather anticlimatic gulp of ordinary water—that fantastical and impractical idea had been firmly debunked. Anyone with a shred of sense could guess: in such a bustling, well-traveled mountain spot, how could a truly precious treasure possibly lie unnoticed?
It nestled there on the grass: a small ceramic object catching the late morning sun. Light danced on its smooth contours. Examining it again, Tang Jinbiao noted its defining features. “The vial’s body was perfectly round, smooth and finely detailed,” he observed silently. Subtle raised patterns swirled across its surface, visible if one looked closely. “Its neck was slender and elegant.” He tilted his head slightly. “Inside, a small amount of liquid still remained,” catching the light with a clear gleam. “Based purely on its form,” he conceded, “it absolutely resembled Han Paopao’s legendary Green Vial.”
He wrinkled his nose slightly. “But that liquid… just ordinary water.” The tang of plain mineral spring water still lingered unpleasantly on his tongue. The mundane reality crushed the spark of treasure-hunting excitement he’d felt earlier.
“Moreover,” he thought, focusing on the vital clue, “Little Lv’s reaction just now…” Recalling her flushed cheeks and stammering accusation proved critical. “This object is definitely not some mystical artifact.” He concluded with a sinking feeling. “Its purpose… must be somewhat… improper.” Tang Jinbiao’s mind suddenly shifted gears.
“Specifically,” he pondered rapidly, mentally cataloging things that could elicit such a flustered, disgusted expression from a young woman. His thoughts skipped from the mundane to the suggestive. “Something that could make a maiden react like that…” He considered practical toiletries first: “…could be a razor.” Maybe an encounter with an improperly discarded shaving kit? But Little Lv wasn’t that sheltered.
His thoughts then drifted, quite unexpectedly, to cultural icons associated with male fantasy. “…perhaps Japan’s esteemed Ms. Ao?” he muttered under his breath. He mentally pictured the famous actress from the educational videos some discreet shopkeepers hid away. That possibility felt distinctly awkward.
Then his mind landed squarely on the most probable culprit: “…but most likely,” he thought with a wince, mentally picturing the cylindrical shapes discreetly sold under counters, “…it’s something like… a massage wand.” The implications sank in. An ‘intimate appliance,’ carelessly dropped? Left behind after a… nocturnal mountain rendezvous? An image flashed unbidden into Tang Jinbiao’s mind: some foolish, absentminded hedonist hurrying off after their pleasure, forgetting their illicit toy. Discarded trash. Evidence of depravity. His own hands had touched it! His lips had touched it!
The more Tang Jinbiao stared at the Green Vial, the stronger the strange, uncomfortable feeling of dissonance grew. Unbidden, his thoughts drifted towards that renowned international educator, Japan’s esteemed Ms. Ao. Yet, the moment his thoughts veered in that direction, Tang Jinbiao’s face transformed instantly. His bewildered expression vanished, replaced first by a dawning, horrified comprehension, then twisting into utter revulsion. A wave of visceral nausea surged from the pit of his stomach as the realization crashed over him: that ‘water’ was probably something far less sanitary than alpine spring water. He’d drunk from it. Touched it.
Overwhelmed by disgust and self-recrimination, Tang Jinbiao threw back his head and shouted. His furious, booming voice ricocheted off the rocks surrounding the clearing.
“DAMN IT ALL! I BOUGHT A WATCH LAST YEAR!”
The crude internet slang curse—essentially a homophonic substitute for a graphic expletive—shattered the mountain calm.
The vulgar outburst echoed briefly, quickly replaced by another, more visceral sound. Tang Jinbiao immediately started retching violently, bending over double as his body tried to expel the vile realization and any trace left in his mouth. He gagged repeatedly, an agonizing sound echoing the churning horror in his gut.