Chapter 311: Placing an Apple on Your Head
Chapter 311: Placing an Apple on Your Head
Hearing this, Bai Yuan turned his head and saw Ground Rabbit lying prone. He couldn’t help but be overjoyed: “Are you well enough to get out of bed and move around? That’s wonderful! You… right… what was your name again?”
Ground Rabbit: “Ground Rabbit!”
Bai Yuan: “Ah, right, right! Your name is Ground Rabbit. I remember it very clearly.”
Ground Rabbit: “…”
Bai Yuan: “Thanks so much for last time, holding that room door to the death. Otherwise, I would have been killed by those villains.”
Though he often struggled to match faces to names, he was not an ungrateful man. What Ground Rabbit had done for him, he truly remembered clearly. He bowed deeply and solemnly to Ground Rabbit in a formal salute.
Ground Rabbit said: “Mr. Bai, are you studying firearms?”
Bai Yuan lifted the flintlock firearm in his hand: “This is a flintlock mechanism fitted onto a musket, making a flintlock musket. According to Mr. Song, muskets have extremely high accuracy, enough to shoot down flying birds— hence the name Bird Gun. But… no matter how much I use it, I just can’t hit a flying bird! This thing has no accuracy at all! I’m really troubled by it.”
Ground Rabbit: “Huh? This… well, I don’t understand this.”
Bai Yuan sighed dejectedly: “This thing isn’t even as accurate as my bow and arrows.”
Ground Rabbit immediately broke out in a cold sweat: “Not even as accurate as your arrows? Then… well then… don’t use it maybe…”
Bai Yuan: “What’s the meaning of that expression? Trying to say my archery is no good? Preposterous! Archery is one of the Six Arts of Gentlemen! I am quite serious about it. Want to bet? I bet I could put an apple on your head and stand a hundred paces away and shoot that apple right in the center with a single arrow.”
Ground Rabbit was horrified: “This… this! Absolutely mustn’t try that! Please don’t!”
Bai Yuan: “That clearly shows you don’t believe me! Someone! Put an apple on his head.”
Ground Rabbit was thoroughly frightened: “Gouzi! Get us out of here!”
Zheng Gouzi hastily pushed the wheelchair and raced away in a puff of smoke.
The two retreated far from the firearm soldier’s practice field. Suddenly, the sound of hooves approached from ahead. A cavalry unit of over one hundred men charged past them. Every one of them was clad in armor, holding spears in their hands, and carrying Kaiyuan Bows on their backs. At their head was a female general, fully armored… and she looked really, really formidable!
Ground Rabbit jumped: “Who is that? Does our Gaojia Village have such a woman? At first glance, I thought it was Xing Honglang!”
Zheng Gouzi: “That’s the brave woman who joined Gaojia Village when we were protecting the Saint Lady in the county town. Her name is Zao Ying. She commands the cavalry camp now. She’s very powerful.”
Ground Rabbit watched the imposing scene of the over one hundred cavalrymen charging past, a touch of longing in his eyes: “Ah, this Rabbit also wants to join the cavalry camp! Charging into battle atop a horse with a spear is simply too dashing! Don’t you think that perfectly matches the presence of Mr. Rabbit?”
Zheng Gouzi: “Just now you said you wanted to join the grenadiers.”
Ground Rabbit: “Mr. Rabbit will join the grenadiers first, then join the cavalry camp. Then, Mr. Rabbit will throw grenades from horseback! Wouldn’t that be outrageously awesome?”
Zheng Gouzi: “…”
It sounded impressive, but something about it felt fundamentally wrong?
Just as they were thinking this, they saw another group of riders approach. These, however, looked considerably less imposing. They looked extremely nervous on horseback, their faces tinged with green.
Zheng Gouzi said: “These are the guys recently promoted to cavalry. See how they look as if their souls have left their bodies just trying to make the horse trot a little faster? They are still a long way from fighting on horseback. If you join the cavalry, that’s how you would look too. Can’t even keep up with the riders in front? What kind of imposing presence is that?”
Ground Rabbit: “Tsk! The cavalry camp isn’t even useful during mountain bandit suppression! Hmph! Mr. Rabbit decides not to join the cavalry camp!”
Zheng Gouzi: “…”
…
Northern Shaanxi, Mizhi County.
Unemployed youth Li Zicheng held a sharp knife in his hand. Drops of fresh blood dripped from its blade.
Because his wife Han Jin’er had committed adultery with another man, putting a green hat on him, he had just personally stabbed her to death.
His nephew Li Guo pushed the door open and saw the corpse on the floor with the dagger still in his uncle’s hand. He couldn’t help gasping, “Uncle, did you kill this filthy woman?”
Li Zicheng replied, “Killed her! What would be the point of keeping her?”
Li Guo asked, “Though this woman deserved death, the authorities will surely investigate her killing. What should we do now?”
Li Zicheng said, “Flee, of course. What else can we do?”
Li Guo pressed, “Where could we possibly run?”
After thinking seriously, Li Zicheng answered, “In Mount Huanglong to the south, a righteous army is stationed. Their leader is called Wang Zuogua. I’ve heard he’s a brave man with over ten thousand brothers under his command. We might as well join Wang Zuogua.”
Li Guo exclaimed, “Good!”
The two quickly gathered their belongings, fled Mizhi County, and headed toward Mount Huanglong.
In Chongzhen Year Two, unemployed youth Li Zicheng executed his unfaithful wife in rage and embarked on the path of banditry…
…
Just as Li Zicheng killed his wife, turned bandit, and set off for Mount Huanglong,
a fast horse streaked like an arrow into Gaojia Village, charging straight toward Bai Yuan. Its rider turned out to be Patrol Officer Fang Wushang.
His sudden arrival genuinely startled Bai Yuan.
Li Daoxuan, sitting by a crate gnawing on a large beef bone, couldn’t help muttering, “Huh? Fang Wushang came alone again? Surely no one’s following him?”
Sweeping his gaze southwest of Gaojia Village, he indeed spotted over a hundred soldiers still panting and sweating as they jogged toward the village from afar. Fang Wushang, ever impatient, hadn’t waited for them.
Bai Yuan asked, “What troubles you, General Fang?”
Fang Wushang urgently blurted out, “Instructor Bai, why are you still idling in Gaojia Village? Immediately muster all militia units. Fighting is imminent in every village and town.”
His words alarmed Bai Yuan, “What happened this time?”
Li Daoxuan also furrowed his brows.
Fang Wushang continued, “Just days ago, General Wang Chengen of Shaanxi, under the new Provincial Governor Liu Guangsheng’s orders, crushed the rebel Fan Shanyue in Heyang County. Thoroughly defeated, Fan Shanyue backed down and meekly accepted pacification.”
Bai Yuan remarked, “Huh? Pacification sounds like good news.”
But Li Daoxuan thought to himself: Good news? Accepted pacification without enough grain for relief, no land for farming? It’s pacification in name only!
Fang Wushang added, “Though pacification succeeded, Fan Shanyue’s subordinates remain unruly. En route back to their hometowns, they’ve occupied villages, unleashed their gangs, and plundered everywhere, calling it ‘grain extraction.’ When envoys sent by the court questioned them about accepting pacification yet causing chaos, they brazenly claimed they couldn’t get food on their journey home and must steal their way back.”
Hearing this, Li Daoxuan couldn’t help sighing. He thought: Exactly! Just as I’d predicted.
Bai Yuan frowned, “This…”
Fang Wushang urged, “No time for lamenting! Though Fan Shanyue operated mainly in Heyang County, many of his followers hail from our Chengcheng County or neighbouring Bai Shui County. These men will wreak havoc in Chengcheng during their journey home.”
Bai Yuan suddenly understood, “We need to organize the militia to subdue these scoundrels.”
…
Unofficial histories record that after killing his wife, Li Zicheng first joined the Gansu border army, became a squad leader, then mutinied later to join Wang Zuogua.
Yet in Gu Cheng’s Peasant Wars of the Late Ming Dynasty, Li Zicheng’s uprising led him straight to Bu Zhan Ni…
The records are utterly chaotic! No source stands as authoritative.
The eunuch trusted none, wrote his own version, and made Li Zicheng head straight for Wang Zuogua.