Chapter 120: Memories Mean Nothing Now
Chapter 120: Memories Mean Nothing Now
Chen Changsheng asked, “Your Highness, do you perhaps remember Princess Xian Yue?”
Yan Ruchu’s brow suddenly relaxed. He asked, “You know my sister?”
Chen Changsheng replied calmly, “I once met the Princess. I told her some stories from books.”
Yan Ruchu searched his memory, and it suddenly came back to him.
He stepped forward and looked at the person standing before him. “I believe I heard Xian Yue mention you. When she was little, she sneaked into the Library Pavilion and got caught. It was you who told her that story about the Stone Monkey?”
Chen Changsheng nodded. “If there were no others, then it should have been me.”
Beside him, Xian Yue, now a Wandering Spirit, said, “I only mentioned it to my brother once… He actually remembered…”
Yan Ruchu couldn’t see Xian Yue. He paused, surprised. “There really was such a person? I always thought she made it up as a joke.”
Yan Ruchu then invited Chen Changsheng to sit. The wariness in his heart eased slightly, and he sat back down behind his desk.
After sitting down, Chen Changsheng asked, “Your Highness seems concerned about Princess Xian Yue. Yet, I heard that after the Northern Desert raised its army, you had no further contact with her.”
Yan Ruchu froze momentarily after hearing this. He let out a self-mocking laugh. “What’s the point of saying this now? Xian Yue is… no longer here.”
Chen Changsheng said, “I often heard the Princess speak of you, Your Highness. At that time, Consort Ci did not cherish her, and Emperor Jing paid her little notice. You, her elder brother, were the only one willing to keep her company.”
Yan Ruchu sighed. “She should have hated me. After all, when everyone blamed and bullied her, I just stood by and watched coldly. Not even a hint of worry showed on my face.”
“How so?” Chen Changsheng asked.
“I am the Crown Prince. I am the heir.”
Yan Ruchu explained, “Every word I speak, every action I take, is watched by the court officials. Those civilian officials are sharp-tongued. If I had publicly helped Xian Yue, the next day countless memorials denouncing the Crown Prince might have piled up on my father’s desk. At worst, I might have lost my position as heir. But Xian Yue… she might have been in real danger.”
Chen Changsheng asked, “Your Highness feared idle gossip, that people might say Princess Xian Yue bewitched the Crown Prince?”
Yan Ruchu gave a helpless smile and nodded.
Hearing this, Xian Yue felt a sudden pang of guilt.
She had always believed…
Chen Changsheng said, “But Princess Xian Yue thought you were the same as them.”
Yan Ruchu paused. He opened his mouth, but it ended as a sigh.
“I secretly ordered many people to protect her back then. I just never expected… the officials of the Imperial Court still wouldn’t let her be…”
As he spoke, Yan Ruchu’s fist clenched beneath his sleeve, but he quickly relaxed it again.
“But now, it’s too late… What’s done is done.”
“Consider me… a brother who failed in his duty.”
Yan Ruchu closed his eyes, recalling it all. Pain filled his expression. He might have hoped closing his eyes would banish the memories. Yet truly, they were buried deep within his heart, tormenting him.
“Do you regret it, Your Highness?” Chen Changsheng asked.
Yan Ruchu took a long, deep breath. “I often think… if only I hadn’t been the heir. Then not so many eyes would be watching me. I could have secretly sent Xian Yue out of the palace. Then… she wouldn’t have died.”
Saying this, Yan Ruchu suddenly felt he had spoken too much.
“Forgive me. I shouldn’t speak of these things. But hearing you mention Xian Yue today… it brought up a stifling feeling, and I just… spoke out.”
“It is alright,” Chen Changsheng said. “They say the most ruthless place is the imperial family. You, as the heir, seem cold, but you feel deeply. That alone is rare.”
“What use is that?”
Yan Ruchu laughed bitterly. “What kind of heir am I… who couldn’t even protect his own sister?”
Chen Changsheng glanced at Xian Yue beside him.
Then he spoke, “Would Your Highness… like to see Princess Xian Yue again now?”
Yan Ruchu stared, stunned.
He looked at the Green-Robed Gentleman before him. “How?”
His voice had barely faded when the gentleman raised his hand and swept it past Yan Ruchu’s eyes.
In that hazy moment, Yan Ruchu seemed to see a flare of Golden Light enter his vision.
Chen Changsheng said, “Please, Your Highness, open your eyes and look again.”
Yan Ruchu steadied his swirling thoughts and looked.
He froze.
Xian Yue was weeping like a stream. She called out, “Brother…”
Yan Ruchu sat at the desk, his mind reeling. He couldn’t believe the figure standing there was real. “Is this… real? Or an illusion?” he asked dumbly, looking at Chen Changsheng beside him.
“Of course, it’s real,” Chen Changsheng replied. “Only…”
Yan Ruchu stood, ready to rush forward and embrace Xian Yue.
But before he could, he passed right through her.
Yan Ruchu faltered. He looked at himself, then at Xian Yue.
Chen Changsheng said, “Xian Yue belongs to the Underworld now, Your Highness. You cannot touch her.”
Yan Ruchu stretched out his hand. Looking at Xian Yue, a sudden dizziness washed over him.
His eyes reddened. He looked lost.
After Xian Yue’s death, guilt had piled up inside him. It had become a sickness. He often called her name in the night, lost in long, empty stares.
He had never dreamed of a second chance.
At that moment, tears fell from the Crown Prince’s eyes. His body trembled.
All his longing turned into water in that instant, soaking his heart through.
…
Chen Changsheng left quietly, not wanting to disturb the siblings. He stepped outside and gently closed the door behind him.
Looking up, he saw the morning sun slowly rising at the sky’s edge.
A wave of warmth enveloped him.
Chen Changsheng drew a long, relieved breath as he gazed at the rising sun.
He thought to himself, the most tormenting thing in this world must be the parting at life and death.
That day.
The Crown Prince, too, couldn’t hold back the redness in his eyes. He talked and talked with Xian Yue. They spoke of their childhood, recalled old times together…
Deep within the palace, heavy and suffocating.
This one moment of warmth was precious indeed.
Xian Yue, tears still falling, said, “Brother, you were the best brother in the world. Always.”
Yan Ruchu remained lost in thought for a long time.
In that instant, all the knots in his heart unraveled and faded away. He smiled, though his tears still flowed heavily.
.
.
“Creak…”
When the doors opened once more.
Yan Ruchu stood before Chen Changsheng.
He, the Crown Prince, knelt on the ground with a heavy thud.
Chen Changsheng was taken aback. “Your Highness, what is the meaning of this?”
Yan Ruchu lifted his head, pleading. “I implore Mr. Chen… save Xian Yue.”
Chen Changsheng sighed deeply. “Your Highness, that person has departed. Memories mean nothing now. Even I cannot bring back the dead.”
Just as Yan Ruchu started to speak, Chen Changsheng swept his sleeve through the air.
“Ding ling.”
A sweet, piercing sound like a copper bell rang out.
Yan Ruchu suddenly felt dizzy and collapsed, unconscious.
Chen Changsheng turned his gaze to Xian Yue. “The world of the living and the dead are separate. You must let go. You understand this, Princess.”
Xian Yue’s heart ached. She finally lowered her head.
“Xian Yue… understands, Mr. Chen. Let us go.”
Chen Changsheng gave a faint nod and turned towards the outside.
Xian Yue felt desolate inside. She cast one final look back at the palace behind her. She let her tangled feelings drift away with the morning breeze.