Chapter 1: A Randomly Appearing System

In a rented room, some suggestive sounds were heard. Tang Chen sat in front of his computer, staring intently at the movie playing on the screen, looking very excited. After a moment, he let out a long breath, pulled out a tissue, wiped himself down below, and threw it into the trash can.

“Damn, I’m so pathetic. When will I ever find a girl and get rid of this five-finger sister?” Tang Chen cursed at himself mockingly, then reluctantly closed the action movie playing on his computer.

Tang Chen was eighteen years old and a high school student at a school. He had grown up in an orphanage. Though he looked clean and tidy, he was genuinely poor and a loser. Attending a so-called top Noble School in the city, Tang Chen felt a lot of pressure. Not only was he below average in his studies, but the sadder part was that he couldn’t even get a girl. He could only pleasure himself every day while watching Teacher Cang’s movies to lift his spirits.

“Ding! Host identity confirmation in progress. Binding DNA now. DNA binding complete. Identity confirmed. Host name: Tang Chen. Belongs to the ultimate Fighter Jet among losers.”

“Ding! Triggered System’s autonomous mission: Help the Host shed his loser identity and transform into a tall, rich, and handsome man, thus embarking on the peak of life. Penalty for failure: The Host will remain a loser forever, despised by everyone.”

Just as Tang Chen was thinking about how to pay this month’s rent, a mechanical notification sound suddenly echoed in his mind, giving him a huge fright. He instinctively shouted, “Who is it? Who’s talking?”

“Hello, Host. The Ultimate Loser System is at your service. I am currently communicating with you using your brainwaves.”

“Holy crap, it’s a ghost!” Tang Chen cursed loudly, then calmed down a bit and asked cautiously, “Who are you? Why are you inside my body?”

The System said, “Respected Host, I have already answered that question. This System is not a ghost; it is the Ultimate Loser System, a very awesome existence. As for why I chose you, if I said it was a random probability, would you believe me?”

Tang Chen pinched himself hard and then said, “This isn’t a dream? What exactly is going on? That so-called System, if you’re not a ghost, then why choose me? This isn’t scientific.”

“Respected Host, the System’s selection has no scientific basis. As I just said, the reason for choosing you is simply a random probability.” The System replied arrogantly, as if mocking Tang Chen’s idiocy.

Tang Chen felt utterly confused. Damn, what exactly was happening? Could pleasuring himself actually summon a System? Regardless, this thing had really happened; there was no way he could deny it.

Tang Chen collected his emotions and then said, “Alright, I believe you. So tell me, what do you want from me?”

System: “Respected Host, based on the System’s recent autonomous scan, I found that you, the Host, are the Fighter Jet among losers. You were an orphan as a child with no parental love. Growing up, you barely survived with the help of relatives. Then you entered this Noble School. As the only poor loser in this school, not only do you suffer daily from your classmates’ disdain and scorn, but what’s even more pitiful is that at the ripe old age of eighteen, you are still a virgin and haven’t even held a girl’s hand. This System expresses deep regret.”

Hearing the System’s words, Tang Chen felt as if ten thousand grass-mud horses were stampeding through his heart. Regret your sister! I’m not dead yet.

“System, you come out! You bastard! Listening to you say all that makes me instantly feel so pathetic.” Tang Chen’s face twitched as he cursed at the System. This damn System really had a sharp tongue.

The System calmly said, “Host, don’t feel sorry for yourself. This System’s appearance is meant to help you.”

Tang Chen’s face darkened and he said, “You’ve been talking for so long and I still don’t get what you’re trying to say. Can you be more straightforward?”

“This System is here to help you shed your loser identity.”

“You’re going to help me shed my loser identity?” Tang Chen chuckled with interest, then said, “Buddy, I’ve had this loser label on my head for over ten years. How are you going to help me get rid of it?”

The System explained, “This System will randomly assign the Host some Missions. After completing the Missions, you will receive rewards in the form of mysterious big gift packs. Once you accumulate a certain number of reward points, you can earn the title of the ultimate tall, rich, and handsome man. At that point, no one will dare laugh at you, Host.”

Tang Chen was tempted and asked curiously, “System, what exactly is in this mysterious big gift pack?”

“I already said it’s mysterious, so of course I can’t tell you. Host, you’re really an idiot.” The System said something that made Tang Chen want to hit it.

“Damn your uncle!” Tang Chen trembled with anger. What kind of crappy System was this? Couldn’t it show a little respect?

The System smartly replied, “Counter-damn.”

Tang Chen didn’t want to waste any more words on this System. Anyway, having a System gave him a sense of superiority, like he was the main character. As for things like tall, rich, and handsome qualities, he’d worry about that later.

Since it was the weekend, there were no classes. Tang Chen went out to get some food and fill his stomach. Just then, a fat lady approached him and said, “You little brat, you owe me three months’ rent! I can never find you. Great, I’ve finally caught you this time. Pay up, or else get out!”

Tang Chen was scared of this landlady. He cursed her endlessly in his heart but put on a pitiful face and said, “Fat lady, oh no, Landlady Auntie, can you give me a little more time? I’ll definitely pay you back in a few days.”

“No way!” The fat landlady was furious and shouted, “You poor loser, if you can’t afford the rent, then get back to your countryside and farm! Why come here to study if you have no money? It’s so embarrassing. Hurry up and pay the rent, or I’ll have someone kick you out right now. Farmer’s kids are so shameful.”

“What’s wrong with farmers!” Tang Chen was also displeased and said coldly, “Without us farmers working hard in the fields, you so-called city folks wouldn’t have any rice to eat! You can scold me for owing rent, but you can’t insult me!”

“Damn poor loser, who do you think you’re talking to? I look down on you country folks, bite me! If you want to prove you’re awesome, then pay up right now! As long as you can pay me back, I’ll kneel and lick your shoes!” The fat pig landlady was so angry she was choking. In her heart, she hated people the most who had no skills but acted arrogant.

Tang Chen fell silent. Indeed, he couldn’t come up with three months’ rent right now, but he absolutely couldn’t swallow this insult. Just then, the System, which had been quiet for a long time, spoke up.

“Ding! Triggered Beginner Task: The fat landlady looks down on the Host’s loser identity. The Host must use money to viciously slap the fat landlady’s dead pig face. Reward for Mission success: One mysterious small gift pack. Penalty for Mission failure: The Host must lick the fat landlady’s asshole!”

Seeing this Mission, Tang Chen felt excited but also thought it was messed up. Although slapping someone with money sounded incredibly badass, what the hell was this failure penalty? Having to lick this dead fat pig’s asshole? Damn, you might as well just kill me.

“System, give me some money!” Tang Chen spoke to the System in his mind. Since he needed to slap someone with money, naturally, he couldn’t be short on cash.

“Received. Fifty thousand cash has been transferred to the Host, now in the Host’s pocket.”

Awesome! Using fifty thousand cash to slap someone—this truly was the Ultimate Loser System. Totally badass.

“Dead fat lady, I’ll give you the money right now!” Since he had money now, he didn’t need to endure this humiliation anymore.

“Damn, you dare curse at me? Fine! Show me the money, you brat! If you can’t produce it, you’re getting thrown out!” The dead fat lady’s face turned purple with rage. At the same time, she didn’t believe Tang Chen could actually come up with three months’ rent. She clearly knew that this kid ate instant noodles every day. Expecting a poor loser who survived on instant noodles to produce over twenty thousand? She’d never believe it even if she died.

Tang Chen snorted coldly and said, “Then watch closely!” With that, Tang Chen reached into his pocket.

The dead fat lady wore a mocking smile, but the next second, she froze because she saw Tang Chen pull out a stack of red bills!

If she was just surprised at first, what happened next felt like she had seen a ghost, because after Tang Chen took out ten thousand, he didn’t stop. Instead, he reached into his pocket again.

One stack, two stacks, three stacks… He took out a total of fifty stacks of cash, holding them in his hands!

The dead fat lady was speechless. What in the world was happening? Was she seeing things?