Chapter 67: Look, Flying Aircraft

Last time in our story, we spoke of Lord Ximen, a man of extraordinary talent, battling fiercely through the night, leaving women enthralled wherever he passed, with cries of passion and unrestrained laughter echoing everywhere…

“Crash!” Liu Liwa was right in the middle of the thrilling part, even getting carried away himself. The two women beside him were growing restless too. But just then, a teacup shattered violently right in front of him, splinters narrowly missing his face.

Liu Liwa was furious. This was a blatant provocation. He remembered back in high school, when older students bullied the freshmen. Once, in the cafeteria, someone deliberately spilled food on him. Liu Liwa beat that guy up so badly he got held back a year. What else could happen? The guy missed almost a whole semester in the hospital. Being an orphan, Liu Liwa had no family ties or worries. At sixteen or seventeen, he feared nothing.

Though time and society had worn away some of his sharp edges, smoothing his rough corners, he still lived by the principle: “Don’t provoke me, and I won’t provoke you; provoke me, and I’ll hit back hard.”

But today, his principle was: provoke me, and I’ll play the fool!

It was obvious Wen Jun had thrown the teacup. He’d already drawn his blade. The door crashed open, kicked in by soldiers radiating deadly intent, ready to suppress everyone on the spot. Liu Liwa and the two women froze. The cold gleam of the steel blade before them was frightening – you could practically feel its sharpness.

Young Master Ye was startled too. He scrambled to his feet, asking, “Brother Wen, what’s wrong? Has something offended you?”

“Hmph!” Wen Jun snorted coldly, glaring fiercely at Liu Liwa. “That so-called ‘Lord,’ defiling men’s wives and daughters, coercing adulteresses to poison their own husbands! Appalling! Utterly immoral! He shames all men! A true man’s purpose should lie in serving his country, dying gloriously on the battlefield! Yet this ‘Lord’ wallows only in adultery and debauchery! He deserves death!”

Damn! Liu Liwa thought he’d said something offensive. Turns out it was military spirit taking offense! He should have lectured him about long marches or fighting resistance battles instead! Liu Liwa laughed, cupping his hands respectfully. “Supervisory Commander, please be patient! This story isn’t finished yet!”

“Huh? There’s more?” Wen Jun was surprised, his body imperceptibly trembling. “Does the Lord continue chasing after prostitutes?”

“Of course not,” Liu LiMo responded swiftly, ready to cater to Wen Jun’s interests. “A faithless, dishonorable person like that ‘Lord,’ who knows nothing of serving the Imperial Court? How could he possibly have a good end? Sir, don’t rush. Listen to me speak slowly…”

Seeing Wen Jun sit back down, puzzled, Young Master Ye and the two women breathed sighs of relief. The soldiers who had barged in retreated. Wu Liniang had been alerted too. She stood by the door, watching Liu Liwa coldly. Behind her were Wang Meng and other thugs of the Intoxication Pavilion, their imposing presence seemingly no less than the soldiers’.

Liu Liwa composed himself and sat down again. The women beside him watched dumbfounded, wondering how he’d turn things around. Inside, Liu Liwa was thanking the great author Shi Nai’an. “Now, about this: Half a month after Jin Lian’s husband, Wu Da, was encoffined and cremated, Wu Da’s brother, Wu Erlang, returned to Yanggu County…”

Liu Liwa recounted Wu Erlang’s story thrillingly – the heroism, the deep loyalty to his brother, his ruthless efficiency in killing, swift as a sharp blade cutting through tangled hemp, fierce and resolute. It was the complete opposite of the decadent, lustful narrative from before, delivering a whole new level of excitement to his audience.

Throughout, Liu Liwa kept watching Wen Jun. He was still gulping wine, but his whole body was tense, as if he himself was fighting alongside Wu Erlang against the Lord. Young Master Ye and the two women, however, seemed somewhat bored. Blood-pumping heroics weren’t to their taste – they preferred Xiaodi’s style: playful… comical.

Indeed, the comical element soon surfaced. Unnoticed by others, Liu Liwa’s sharp eyes caught it: Wen Jun held his wine bowl with his left hand, while his right hand… disappeared under the table. Liu Liwa pretended not to see, continuing with Wu Erlang’s heroic tale. Miss Liuyun snapped back to attention, adding the accompaniment of her guzheng, its notes mimicking war drums and horns, amplifying the story’s fierce tension. The music made Wen Jun even more agitated. While his actions under the table were hidden, his upper arm and shoulder began to twitch visibly…

The movement looked familiar. Liu Liwa mused: If it wasn’t a table up there, but a computer keyboard, just what was his hand doing?

Wen Jun’s face grew progressively redder. His gaze drifted towards Qin Wan’er, striking like a model. The frequency of the twitches in his shoulder and arm increased. His face flushed crimson, his breathing grew rapid and labored. The table itself even began to tremble slightly. Right as Liu Liwa described Wu Erlang slashing off the Lord’s head in one stroke, Wen Jun let out a fierce roar – like he was joining the execution! Then, he slumped down, looking utterly spent. Portraying both killer and victim simultaneously? Quite the performance!

Liu Liwa stopped speaking. Miss Liuyun’s music shifted gradually from clashing swords and galloping horses to the gentle flow of a stream, and finally faded into silence. Everyone calmed down. Qin Wan’er subtly inched closer to Liu Liwa. She’d seen Wen Jun staring at her intensely earlier, almost as if she were the Lord himself.

Liu Liwa casually raised his teacup to his lips, hiding the barely suppressed grin behind it. He cursed his own sharp eyes – always seeing things they shouldn’t! He was certain Wen Jun had been… sitting and stroking himself? Wait, this era didn’t have flying aircraft. He was a martial artist; that earlier move must be called ‘Five Dragons Embracing the Pillar’!

The absurdity was, this was a Pleasure House! Wen Jun held high rank and power. Any woman here would likely obey him. Even a man would. Yet he resorted to… self-service? Was this some peculiar fetish? Or extreme fear of filth, unwilling to touch others? Or perhaps… another reason?

Liu LiMo pondered Wen Jun’s private quirks. The man panted for a while but gradually regained his vitality. He showed no intention of leaving. That sticky, damp feeling must be uncomfortable.

“Women, leave.” Wen Jun commanded, his voice icy cold.

His abrupt coldness startled everyone. The high color hadn’t faded from his face, making him seem drunk. His erratic, intimidating nature already scared people. The two women were eager to leave. Miss Liuyun picked up her guzheng and left first. Qin Wan’er followed. At the doorway, both paused to glance back at Liu Liwa, their expressions complex.

Liu Liwa pretended not to notice. They’re both looking your way, buddy. Who do you look at?

“Liu Xiaoqi! Come sit up here. Drink with me!” After the women were gone, Wen Jun unexpectedly invited Liu Liwa. Liu Liwa feared nothing. Worst case, provoke me, I play the fool. Utter foolishness makes one invincible! He walked forward calmly.

“Such stirring, heroic tales cannot be fabricated,” Wen Jun stated, looking intently at Liu Liwa. “Liu Xiaoqi, you must have experienced similar things yourself? Are you of the wandering warrior folk?”