Chapter 64: The Mermaid’s Choice

Liu Liwa did not realize he was knocked down by a fart until he fell to the ground, grimacing in pain. He did not know if the fart was too powerful or if he was too weak.

When Liu Liwa got up, the culprit that caused such great damage, the butt, was slowly crawling back under the covers. Liu Liwa would not let it escape. He pounced at once, pressing the butt firmly beneath him. Though it was not grand, it was very springy.

“Get away from me!” The owner of the butt shouted angrily from under the covers. “You damned bastard! How dare you treat me like this? I’m too ashamed to see anyone… Pfft…”

Before she finished, Liu Liwa was flung away again. At the same time, Liu Liwa noticed that it was already dark outside. He had slept the whole day without realizing it. By now, the contents in Qin Wan’er’s belly had been emptied due to a large bowl of cold water, leaving only a large amount of gas transformed from beans. It was still continuously being released.

Qin Wan’er had spent the entire day squatting in the outhouse. She was a beautiful young girl! Since childhood, she bathed with rose petals and used the finest Rouge and Face Powder on her body. But today, all the fragrance she had built up over the past eighteen years was completely washed away. The smell from the outhouse had even seeped into her bones. She finally endured through it, lost two pounds, and at least did not have to suffer anymore. But now, she was being tormented in another form. See, even the Little Loli was driven away by the farts.

Qin Wan’er buried her head under the covers, too ashamed to show her face, but she left her ‘weapon’ exposed to attack the enemy to the fullest.

Like an ostrich, she buried herself under the covers, refusing to come out. She only pointed her butt at Liu Liwa, constantly launching bio-weapons. Liu Liwa immediately used the Turtle Breath Technique, firmly pressing down on that fair butt. It was like catching a slippery big fish. Liu Liwa said with a laugh, “One should not remove the bridge after crossing the river. If I hadn’t used some means, who knows whose bed you’d be in now!”

“But you shouldn’t have used such despicable, dirty methods to harm me!” Qin Wan’er kept burrowing deeper under the covers. Even though her butt was caught and fully exposed, she did not care anymore. She had already lost too much face today. Just imagine, a girl continuously farting in front of a man—how could mere words describe the shame?

“Don’t dwell on it too much. We should focus on the result, not the process!” Liu Liwa said as he tried to pull her out. “Isn’t the outcome good? You don’t have to entertain guests anymore.”

“Go away! If not for your terrible idea, I wouldn’t have had to entertain guests either,” Qin Wan’er said from under the covers. “As soon as I entered the room, I smelled a foul stench. Supervisor Wen kept dry heaving as if poisoned, and in the end, he vomited violently. At that time, I hadn’t even started farting yet…”

“Ah? Did someone else use my trick?” Liu Liwa wondered.

“Pah! Who would use your lowly methods? I think it was the Madam who couldn’t hold back…”

Qin Wan’er revealed the truth—it was the Madam. So it was her super plump butt that had blasted Liu Liwa down the stairs. Not only was it powerful, but its lethality was also strong. If she had known earlier, Qin Wan’er would not have had to suffer. She just never expected that Wu Liniang, who seemed dignified and cold-hearted, would actually…

Actually, it was nothing. Everyone is human. Eating, drinking, and relieving oneself are all normal. Even beauties fart after eating beans and have diarrhea after drinking cold water!

Qin Wan’er seemed intent on suffocating herself under the covers. Liu Liwa quickly tried to comfort her, “Alright, since you know it was the Madam who made Supervisor Wen sick, why are you still hiding?”

Qin Wan’er flared up, “Nonsense! The Madam farted silently and left right after. When the smell spread, I let out… a loud one. Supervisor Wen must have blamed it all on me. I can’t go on living!”

How tragic! This unlucky girl became the scapegoat. Liu Liwa nearly laughed out loud. “Soldiers are trained for a thousand days to be used in one battle. You should feel honored to take the blame for your leader. By the way, why aren’t you wearing any pants? Isn’t that like taking off your pants to fart—completely unnecessary!”

“Stop talking nonsense! It’s all your fault!” Qin Wan’er was furious, but her voice was small. “At first, I was just farting. Then my stomach started to hurt, and I was still farting. I didn’t think much of it. But who knew that later, when I farted again, it came with… I hate you so much!”

Qin Wan’er could not bring herself to say it, but Master Liu understood perfectly. Sometimes, when you fart, a little something else comes out too. It’s only human! From the Emperor and Empress down to the common street vendors, who hasn’t had a bout of diarrhea and let a little slip out? Why be so mortified?

Despite Liu Liwa’s repeated attempts to comfort and explain, Qin Wan’er would not listen. She felt the more she said, the more she would lose face. She stayed buried under the covers, refusing to come out. To Liu Liwa, it felt like he was talking to a butt. Just then—’pfft’—another gas bomb was launched. However, her stomach was already empty. The force was still strong, but the lethality had greatly diminished. Yet Qin Wan’er grew even more embarrassed. Earlier, when Liu Liwa was asleep, she was angry and had aimed at him. Now that Liu Liwa was awake and scrutinizing her, she felt utterly humiliated and wished to die.

No matter how she struggled, her already weakened body could not escape Liu Liwa’s hold. He was like someone holding a big white fish. Qin Wan’er kept squirming, refusing to show her face. This made Liu Liwa recall two composite pictures he had seen in his later life. The first picture showed a Mermaid—human upper body, fish tail, young and beautiful. The second picture had the upper body of a big carp and the lower body of a human from the waist down. The question was: if you were stranded on a desert island, which Mermaid would you choose to accompany you?

This question had always troubled Liu Liwa. But now, at this very moment, he could finally make a choice—a man’s choice. As long as it works!

Liu Liwa had just tasted sweetness and was craving more. Now this girl had come to him on her own, and she had even driven away the troublesome Little Loli with her farts. With no one around, if he didn’t seize the moment for pleasure now, then when would he?

Holding her with one hand, Liu Liwa easily tossed off his long gown with the other and kicked off his Underpants. His Divine Weapon had already risen to a towering stance. Holding such a fair, tender butt, with the anus sometimes hidden, sometimes visible, sometimes open, sometimes closed—even if stranded on a desert island, he would not be lonely.

Qin Wan’er was still under the covers, cursing him, swearing at him, too ashamed to show her face. Accidentally—’pfft’… and at the same time, Liu Liwa also went ‘pfft’…

After that, the sounds of ‘pfft pfft’ continued without end. It seemed like a fierce battle, but in truth, it was just Liu Liwa advancing through the enemy’s artillery fire…