Chapter 47: The Hero

“Ten parts gentleness, nine parts cleverness, eight parts elegance, seven parts emotion, six parts practicality, five parts grooming, four parts wildness, three parts beauty, two parts assets, one husband.”

Young Master Ye mumbled the words again. His drunken, blurry eyes suddenly sharpened. He handed the wine cup to Liu Liwa and laughed loudly, “A perfect woman! That makes sense, it really does! Brother Xiaoqi, you truly have insight. Women should be just like that! But does such a woman really exist?”

“Of course she exists!” Liu Liwa declared firmly, leaving no room for doubt. Then he downed the wine in his cup in one go to affirm his statement. “But such a woman requires you to search for her patiently. Once you find her, she will be the love of your life.”

“Is she easy to find?” Young Master Ye asked timidly. “Have you found yours?”

Liu Liwa boasted shamelessly, “I haven’t found her yet, but I will keep searching persistently. I believe heaven rewards those who are earnest. Fate will bring us together across a thousand miles. Sooner or later, I will find her.”

“What if you can’t find her?” The pursuit of truth by ancient second-generation heirs was something worth inheriting by later generations.

Liu Liwa scratched his head. This guy was really troublesome. When someone tells you something, you should just listen. Why dig so deep? But to instill the right values in him and help him become a proper, qualified second-generation heir, Liu Liwa patiently instructed, “If you really can’t find this ‘perfect woman,’ then you have to find ‘ten women’ instead. But each of these ten women must possess one characteristic of the ‘perfect woman’—maybe gentleness, or elegance. Combine ten women into one, and that counts as meeting the standard. It’s just more physically demanding!”

Young Master Ye shook his head directly. “My physical strength isn’t good. I can’t handle it. When it comes to women, quality matters more than quantity!”

Right, quality over quantity! Liu Liwa held back his laughter. “With that mindset, I believe you will definitely find your perfect woman.”

Liu Liwa was very confident. He was sure he could find one. In this world, no one is perfect, especially women. There simply aren’t any perfect women that match men’s ideals. But even if they don’t exist in the world, they do exist in pleasure houses. We don’t need a perfect woman; we need a good actress. In a pleasure house, as long as you can afford the silver taels, not only can you find a perfect woman, you can even find a Pretty Guardian!

If Young Master Ye was truly fooled by him, he could report back to the madam. Find a ‘perfect woman’ to comfort Young Master Ye’s lonely heart. This way, he would please Young Master Ye and complete the madam’s task—killing two birds with one stone.

But just then, Young Master Ye spoke again: “No, it still won’t work. Someone like me—even Third Miss Zhao looks down on me. How could I ever impress a nearly flawless perfect woman?”

“How could that be? Young Master Ye, don’t underestimate yourself.” This fellow’s loneliness must have come from being hurt by Third Miss Zhao. He had no confidence at all. But Liu Liwa couldn’t let his efforts go to waste. He nearly coaxed him, “You are the son of the vice minister, from a prominent family, so handsome and graceful. How could any woman look down on you?”

“Third Miss Zhao does.” Young Master Ye pouted like a child whose toy was taken away, sighing dejectedly. “Third Miss Zhao said her husband must be a great hero, a true champion—someone accomplished in both literary and martial arts. Someone who can bring peace to the world with his pen and stabilize the realm on horseback. But I’m just a pampered fool who only recognizes women in bed and shoes off it. Ah…”

Liu Liwa nearly choked on the mouthful of wine he had just drunk. He looked at Young Master Ye with immense respect, giving him a mental thumbs-up. It’s precious to have self-awareness, especially for a second-generation heir to evaluate himself so accurately and selflessly. That was truly rare!

Liu Liwa patted his shoulder cheerfully. “Young Master Ye, you’re too modest. I ask you, who in this world is born ready to battle on the battlefield? Who can compose poetry without going to school? Jade must be carved to become a treasure. You are still young—that is your capital. Given time, you might also become a hero accomplished in both literary and martial arts. Besides, even if you aren’t a hero, then find a way to make yourself into one!”

“Huh? Make a hero?” Young Master Ye looked at him, puzzled.

Liu Liwa felt conflicted inside. Judging by Young Master Ye’s attitude, the likelihood of finding an actress to play the perfect woman and mesmerize him wasn’t high. The madam’s task wouldn’t be easy to complete. That meant he could only change tactics—help Young Master Ye wholeheartedly pursue Third Miss Zhao. If it succeeded, the other party, overjoyed, might see him as a matchmaker and help him gain his freedom. Or, they might become so besotted they forget all about him after crossing the bridge.

Anything could happen. It all depended on his choices. But even if Young Master Ye discarded him after use, at worst he would still be a brothel steward. How much worse could it get? But if Young Master Ye felt grateful, it could very well change his own fate… Liu Liwa had two wishes: one was to regain his freedom; the other was to, in this era, take a misstep and become a legendary romantic figure!

Having made up his mind, he pulled over the nearly depressed Young Master Ye and whispered softly into his ear, “If you are a hero, go for it. If you aren’t a hero, pretend to be one and still go for it. Do you understand?”

Young Master Ye’s eyes lit up, but soon dimmed again. He truly didn’t know what ‘pretending to be a hero’ meant. Could heroes be fake? Liu Liwa patiently explained to him, “Doesn’t Third Miss Zhao like heroes accomplished in both literary and martial arts? But has she ever actually seen such a hero? They only exist in biographies, in stories people tell, in the imaginations of love-struck girls. Could she really run off to a war-torn battlefield, into military tents, to propose to some blood-soaked hero calmly giving orders? If you want to win her heart, the best way is to let her know that the hero is actually right beside her!

The so-called hero in a woman’s heart is simply this: someone to help her up when she falls, stand up for her when she’s bullied, comfort her when she’s sad, pay the bill when it’s time to settle, give a warm kiss when she’s lonely, offer a divine weapon when she feels empty, host her when her auntie visits, and make soup when she needs lactation. If you can do all that, you’re not just a hero—you’re a true man!”

Liu Liwa finished in one breath, feeling quite pleased, though it sounded less like teaching him how to chase girls and more like training a henpecked husband. But no matter what, women are still women. Even in this era, where women are merely accessories to men, that’s only because they were forcibly suppressed under feudal systems. In truth, their hearts burn with discontent, anger, and a desire to resist. Look at later generations—as soon as the new society arrived, women clamored to hold up half the sky. Of course, women were also thinking of men, because men had to hold up women on one side and the entire sky on the other. It was just too exhausting!

Looking at Young Master Ye before him, his eyes growing brighter and brighter—no wonder men loved talking about women while drinking. Who knew women could not only go well with wine but also sober you up?

Before Liu Liwa could elaborate on his plan, Young Master Ye had already leaped up. He chugged half a pot of wine, pulled out a large silver tael, and tossed it to Liu Liwa. Overjoyed, he dashed outside, “I get it! I’m going to be a hero! Third Miss Zhao, your hero brother is coming for you…”

Liu Liwa held the silver, staring out at the dark street. A cold sweat drop fell from his forehead. Once again, he silently prayed, “May the younger brother above protect you!”