Chapter 46: The Perfect Woman

Soon, regular customers either chose girls with long legs or found their favorite girls, and they all scattered to practice what Liu Liwa had talked about. But it was still early, and other customers came one after another. These were customers who only occasionally visited, people with low status but high incomes, like the head clerk of a pawnshop or the manager of a restaurant. Although these people had no property of their own and worked for others, they belonged to the skilled class and were considered high-income earners. So, they occasionally had spare money to come and have some fun.

Since neither Shen Zuijin nor Wu Liniang appeared, Yang Xiaosi was in charge here. He “temporarily managed” the silver taels for Liu Liwa, so he naturally felt too embarrassed to ask Liu Liwa to serve customers. Besides, serving the son of the vice minister was now the central task at Intoxication Pavilion.

Young Master Ye always got very excited after listening to Liu Liwa’s stories, but he quickly became depressed. He was troubled by why his beloved Miss Zhao was not as easy to get as Lanlan in the stories. Liu Liwa had never met a “second-generation” like him who was almost crazy about a woman, mainly because Miss Zhao’s taste was too unique—Young Master Ye’s preferences were just unusual.

This son of the vice minister was Liu Liwa’s biggest help in building his own status and regaining freedom. He had to keep him happy. And to keep him happy, he naturally had to start with Miss Zhao. Liu Liwa proactively poured him a cup of wine, and they clinked cups. This was Liu Liwa’s first time drinking in this era—it was pure sorghum liquor, very spicy to the taste but not very strong. Even the girls here could drink a fair amount of it. For someone like him who had drunk Erguotou for many years, it could be treated like a spicy-flavored drink. Moreover, friendship between men was always built at the wine table, elevated through fighting together, and made eternal through visiting pleasure houses together!

Maybe it was because Young Master Ye was feeling depressed, or maybe he just couldn’t hold his liquor well, but before long, he became dizzy and dazed, his eyes fixed and his words increasing: “Brother Xiaoqi, every time I hear the story of Lanlan, I can’t help but think of Miss Zhao. But why isn’t Miss Zhao as warm as Lanlan?”

Liu Liwa broke into a sweat. If every woman were like Lanlan, men in the world would be blessed, but the infection rate of diseases would also increase.

Liu Liwa had no interest in men, but for his own sake, he had to patiently comfort him: “Every woman is different. If Miss Zhao were really like Lanlan, would you still like her? By the way, what exactly do you like about Miss Zhao?”

Young Master Ye answered without thinking: “I don’t know what I like about her. I only want to know what she doesn’t like about me!”

That question was truly complicated. Liu Liwa felt confused for a moment and didn’t want to waste words with him. He said directly: “These days, marriages depend on parents’ orders and the matchmaker’s words. As the son of the vice minister, why don’t you go back and ask the vice minister to write a proposal letter? Then you can personally visit with the three matchmakers and six betrothal gifts. Since Squire Zhao is just a merchant, how could he not agree?”

Young Master Ye was depressed and had drunk a bit too much. Liu Liwa never saw himself as a servant or subordinate; the two of them looked like friends drinking and chatting. Young Master Ye helplessly gulped down a mouthful of wine and said: “If it were that simple, it would be great. Although the Zhao family is a merchant family, their business and status are extraordinary. Ningyuan County is a major grain-producing county, and ninety percent of the county’s farmland belongs to the Zhao family’s ancestral property. The military grain for the northern border and the grain for the imperial palace are directly handled by the Zhao family, who have deep trust from the Imperial Family.”

Oh, Liu Liwa understood. So they were involved in special supplies. This was also a tradition of our Celestial Empire for thousands of years. The high-level officials had special supply of tobacco, alcohol, tea, and sugar; the military had special supply of clothing, shoes, hats, and even condoms; even the elder officials had special supply of Viagra for erectile dysfunction. And for the common people, the special supplies were melamine, Sudan Red, gutter oil, dyed steamed buns… Long live the Celestial Empire, ten thousand years!

Young Master Ye didn’t know about Liu Liwa’s many thoughts and continued: “The Zhao family has had a deep friendship with the Imperial Family for many years. The late Emperor often said that he grew up eating the Zhao family’s grain, showing how much he liked them. Unfortunately, by Squire Zhao’s generation, the Zhao family only had one male heir, and Squire Zhao himself only had three daughters. The late Emperor originally reserved the position of Vice Minister of Revenue for the Zhao family, but it didn’t happen because there was no male heir. Now that the New Emperor has ascended the throne, he still maintains a close relationship with the Zhao family. There were rumors that the late Emperor left a decree for the New Emperor, telling him to marry a daughter of the Zhao family as a consort, so the two families would be forever united through marriage.”

After hearing this, Liu Liwa completely understood. No wonder Young Master Ye was so desperate to marry Miss Zhao—because he had the chance to become the New Emperor’s “brother-in-law” and instantly transform into a relative of the Emperor! No wonder Young Master Ye couldn’t say what he liked about Miss Zhao. Having a father who was a vice minister wasn’t enough to rely on, because others with the same idea might include ministers, generals, and other higher classes. However, judging by Young Master Ye’s level of infatuation, it seemed that during their interactions, he had genuinely developed feelings for Miss Zhao. Of course, it was still unclear which of the young ladies had body odor—maybe all three sisters had it, or maybe the Emperor also liked strong flavors!

Young Master Ye was really a bit drunk; otherwise, he wouldn’t have revealed such secrets in a crowded place like a pleasure house. But it didn’t matter much; with the Zhao family’s wealth and status, who would dare to have designs on them?

Liu Liwa cautiously asked: “Young Master Ye, which of the Zhao family young ladies has you so infatuated?”

“Third Miss Zhao.” Young Master Ye’s eyes were somewhat unfocused, but his face still showed infatuation: “Her charming figure, her graceful demeanor, and especially that intoxicating scent—I will never forget it. I think this is what I like most about Third Miss Zhao. Brother Xiaoqi, have you ever liked a woman like this?”

“Me?” Liu Liwa broke into a cold sweat and quickly shook his head, saying: “I’m certainly not as loving as you, Young Master Ye. Besides, I wouldn’t like a woman just because of one or two characteristics. I like the perfect woman!”

“The perfect woman?” Young Master Ye didn’t understand.

Liu Liwa smiled slightly. In his previous life, he was an unlucky guy who never had a relationship. The person he liked was already taken, and the ones who liked him were dreadful. The only one he had feelings for was a young lady from a foot massage parlor. After they “finished,” Liu Liwa found he didn’t have enough money, but that young lady generously gave him a thirty percent discount. Liu Liwa remembered this for life, and from then on, he formed an inseparable bond with foot massage parlors and pleasure houses.

But he couldn’t tell Young Master Ye this. He had to work hard to change Young Master Ye’s values, especially regarding women, and stop him from being obsessed with Third Miss Zhao, instead encouraging him to like other women. So, he had to describe a “perfect” woman that every man would like—this was also his own longtime fantasy about women: “The so-called perfect woman must have ten parts gentleness, nine parts cleverness, eight parts charm, seven parts sensitivity, six parts practicality, five parts grooming, four parts wildness, three parts looks, two parts wealth, and one husband.”