Chapter 150: So Wet, So Wet

After the Old Pedant made his suggestion, he stepped aside and pushed the somewhat flustered County Magistrate forward.

Everyone else saw the County Magistrate appear and knew the critical moment had arrived, all eager to compete and determine the winner.

Some were not good at couplets, but composing erotic poems was their strong suit.

However, Liu Liwa took this opportunity to quietly try to slip away.

He really did not want to take part in this boring competition with these nearly crazy scholars.

He never believed that knowing a few traditional Chinese characters, being able to recite poetry or compose couplets, meant one could survive, find happiness, or guide the nation.

These were just products of a peaceful era, idle complaints.

Look at the truly great figures who guided the nation—at the very least, they were engineers in fields like water conservancy, geology, and electric power!

But just as he was about to leave, he unexpectedly was stopped once again by Miss Zhao.

She whispered in his ear, “Do not leave. Find an opportunity to promote!”

Ah? Liu Liwa shot her a sidelong glance.

The scholars present had gone crazy, all racking their brains for a spot at the official reception, for a lousy poem.

Some were muttering to themselves, as if casting a magic spell before launching a forbidden curse.

Liu Liwa was afraid of getting infected.

Miss Zhao stood behind him, looking completely calm as if nothing had just happened.

She whispered, “Didn’t the Educational Official say earlier that the third round is a free-choice topic?

You can choose any person, scenery, or object around you as your subject and just express yourself.

You performed well in the previous two rounds; many people are paying attention to you now.

This is the perfect chance to compose a poem praising my An Luwei dress.

The effect will definitely be better than the love story you planned!”

It had to be said, Miss Zhao had a strong ability to seize the moment.

But Liu Liwa smiled wryly and said, “Big sister, do you really think I have the talent of a top scholar?

That couplet earlier was just a fluke.

Composing erotic poems really is not my strong suit.”

Miss Zhao blinked her big eyes, puzzled, and asked, “Do you not like poetry?”

Her thoughts were pure; she simply believed that someone capable of matching such an unparalleled couplet must be knowledgeable, and that composing poetry and couplets went hand in hand—if you liked one, you must like the other.

But Liu Liwa said wickedly, “Naturally, I like it wet.

If it is not wet, it means there is no meeting of hearts.

But if it is too wet, it loses its… tightness…”

Miss Zhao was utterly confused; without experience, how could she understand the heart of a lecher like Liu Liwa?

Just then, Wu Yuzhou jumped out first again.

He cupped his hands and bowed to the County Magistrate and everyone present.

Though born into a poor family, he had real talent and learning, and had developed a habit of striving to be first in everything.

However, his poems and couplets all contained reflections on his own life circumstances—essentially, complaints!

Then they heard Wu Yuzhou’s clear, bright voice:

“The warm red sun shines on the Nine Provinces,

Some families enjoy happiness, some families grieve.

Some families drink fine wine in tall towers,

Some families wander homeless outside.”

As soon as he finished, it caused an uproar.

The sleazy faction, led by Du Shaofu, immediately began to despise it.

What kind of poem was this? At best, it was a doggerel.

But those who understood Wu Yuzhou’s personality would realize that he was drawing from his own experiences.

In this colorful world, some are born with food and clothing, seeking pleasure day and night,

while others labor incessantly day and night yet still cannot earn enough to eat and stay warm.

Indeed, some families enjoy happiness, some families grieve.

Although it was still a complaint, he never forgot his poor origins,

nor did he hate his background.

Instead, he constantly reminded himself to use his humble origins as motivation,

to change his fate through what he had learned.

This was admirable and respectable.

Liu Liwa sincerely applauded for him,

praising highly his spirit of not being overly joyful with material gains nor overly sad with personal losses, his hard work and perseverance, and his courage to press forward.

Since he had stepped up, Du Shaofu naturally could not be left out.

Back and forth, everyone had gotten used to Wu Yuzhou and Du Shaofu competing.

Others voluntarily stepped aside to let them perform first.

Of course, this was also a tactic—if someone’s work was better than theirs, that person would naturally stand out.

Du Shaofu stepped forward and bowed, a constant smile on his face, his eyes darting around.

Previously challenged by Miss Zhao for failing to convey artistic conception,

he was now brewing something.

If most of Wu Yuzhou’s works were complaints and reflections on his life,

then Du Shaofu’s were more free-spirited, aiming to show off and catch the girls’ attention.

Gazing at the majestic mountain peak outside the city,

with the sun high in the sky and the thin mist dispersed,

clouds rolling and unfolding in the sky,

Du Shaofu proclaimed loudly:

“With clouds, the mountain looks even better;

Without clouds, the mountain resembles a painting.

The mountain’s light and dark depend on the clouds;

The clouds and the mountain rise and fall together.”

Du Shaofu drew from the immediate scenery, depicting the green mountains and white clouds,

giving listeners a refreshing and delightful feeling.

Though the lines were simple, they could be considered fine verse.

The two representatives each composed a poem,

immediately drawing support from their respective factions.

The scene became extremely lively.

Some then shifted their gaze to Liu Liwa.

Without anyone noticing, he had become the third major figure besides Wu Yuzhou and Du Shaofu.

Liu Liwa truly had no interest in composing poetry or couplets or the like,

and he also lacked any real skill in poetry.

If he showed off, he might end up embarrassed.

But those around him were all expecting a masterpiece from him in poetry.

Miss Zhao was still waiting for him to advertise.

It could be said that all eyes were on him.

Zhao Jiabi, in particular, kept urging him repeatedly.

Liu Liwa felt itchy all over, unbearably itchy,

and he could not help but shout out:

“Woman, why do you keep poking my waist!”

His sudden shout stunned the entire scene.

Everyone’s eyes focused on the two of them.

Miss Zhao’s face turned as red as blood;

she wished she could bite him to death on the spot.

With that shout, everyone knew it was the young lady poking him.

In such a public setting, a dignified young lady, beautiful as a fairy,

poking a grown man’s waist—what was that about?

Watching the young lady’s face turn crimson for the first time,

anger flashing in her eyes,

it felt as if her hair was about to stand on end, transforming into a Super Saiyan.

Of course, that was secondary.

The key was that outside the crowd,

two men as dark and sturdy as black towers were starting to approach,

their faces filled with murderous intent.

Liu Liwa was frantic;

he had not expected the loyal servants Zhao Zhong and Zhao Cheng to have followed them.

Now he had made Miss Zhao lose face.

Though the young lady was certainly furious,

he absolutely could not let her lose her temper!

Thinking quickly in a crisis, Liu Liwa pushed the young lady forward.

She staggered into the crowd,

like a displayed commodity,

which made the young lady even more furious, almost mad.

But this woman had one big trait:

the more people there were, the more she loved to put on airs and act calm.

After all, she came from a large family and always had to consider the bigger picture.

So now, suppressing her anger,

she involuntarily raised her hand,

using her small fan to half-cover her face,

standing gracefully there.

Her beautiful eyes, with an unfriendly expression, fixed on Liu Liwa,

creating a uniquely charming sight.

Seeing that Zhao Zhong and Zhao Cheng were about to reach them,

Liu Liwa’s mind raced, inspiration surging like a spring.

He proclaimed loudly:

“Ah, sigh… A light gauze fan, white orchids bloom,

A slender waist with jade belt dances in celestial gauze.

I wonder if a celestial maiden has descended to the mortal world,

A glance back and a smile outshine the starlight.”

After reciting the poem, Liu Liwa’s palms were sweaty,

and other places nearly were too.

You really could not afford to offend a woman with bodyguards.

The surrounding crowd was still immersed in the poem just recited.

Du Shaofu’s poem praising mountains and clouds had made them feel refreshed, as if they were there.

But Liu Liwa’s poem drew from the scene right before their eyes:

Miss Zhao’s small gauze fan, with a vivid, delicate orchid painted on it;

her graceful figure, beautiful dress, stunning beauty that put flowers to shame and dimmed the sun and moon;

and now, hearing the poem, she gave a shy smile,

radiating even more dazzling beauty.

All around, sounds of swallowing and exclamations of wonder could be heard nonstop…