Chapter 25: Do You Know There’s a Term Called a Wardrobe Malfunction?
Chapter 25: Do You Know There’s a Term Called a Wardrobe Malfunction?
“Fang Tinglan, from the line ‘fragrant orchids on the shores, lush and green’!”
After leaving the waterside pavilion, Yang Xin immediately showed his true colors. He walked while speaking happily and smiling.
“From where did you steal that poem?”
Fang Tinglan said with resentment.
“How do you know I didn’t write it myself? It hurts me deeply that you would say that. This is a personal insult to a literary youth, do you know that? You have deeply wounded my fragile heart. You must apologize to me!”
Yang Xin said with righteous indignation.
“Then compose another one!”
Fang Tinglan said with disdain.
“What if I do compose another one?”
Yang Xin said.
“If you can compose another poem of similar quality to the one just now, then I will believe you and apologize to you!”
Fang Tinglan said.
“Having seen all the bitterness of parting at the ends of the earth, yet no word upon return, fallen flowers are like this. Gazing at each other beneath the flowers without a word, by the green window spring and sky both grow dark. Waiting to pour out lovesickness by lamplight, a wisp of new joy, a thousand strands of old regret. Most of all, what the mortal world cannot hold onto, rosy cheeks leaving the mirror, flowers leaving the tree.”
Yang Xin recited, waving his folding fan.
Compose one, then! Who’s afraid of whom?
With Wang Guowei on his side, was he afraid of a small matter like writing poems?
Old Wang was indeed a strange person, but when it came to the skill of composing poems, even placed in the late Ming, he was on the same level as Shui Tailiang, Gong Dingzi, and Wu Weiye. That man was a true master-level expert in this field.
Fang Tinglan was instantly left speechless.
“Should I give you another one?”
Yang Xin stood in front of her, looking at her with a smug expression as he spoke.
Fang Tinglan gritted her teeth, stamped her foot, pushed him aside, lowered her head, and hurried forward…
“One must keep their promises!”
Yang Xin continued to provoke her from behind.
Fang Tinglan gritted her teeth and quickened her pace ahead.
An apology was out of the question. However, Fang Tinglan’s arrogance was effectively suppressed. Because she was in the wrong, she could hardly maintain a haughty stance before Yang Xin, and her voice even softened considerably when speaking to him.
She agreed to all sorts of requests from Yang Xin without exception.
This included hiring the top coppersmiths, lacquerers, and carpenters from the city, purchasing various materials, especially including ironwood, which was quite valuable even at that time. Following Yang Xin’s design, they prepared to make a one-foot diameter copper sphere on an ironwood frame. It was to be hollow, made from thicker copper sheet, hand-hammered by coppersmiths, then covered with paper. A map would be painted on the paper. Yang Xin’s painting skills were certainly not presentable, but Fang Tinglan was an expert in fine brushwork. Yang Xin could just direct her to paint. After painting, they would cut the paper down, following the border lines drawn on the map, cutting a piece and then lacquering a piece, finally lacquering piece by piece with different colors to produce a complete terrestrial globe.
Finally, they would draw latitude and longitude lines and mark some essential things.
For important cities like the Capital City, they would simply inlay gems. Major rivers like the Yangtze River and the Yellow River would be inlaid with silver wire.
That would suffice.
However, they still needed to determine which areas should be drawn and which should not.
Actually, there weren’t many areas that shouldn’t be drawn.
By this time, basically all the decent places that could be discovered had already been discovered. There were only Hawaii and Australia, and also New Zealand.
Just these three important places remained.
The rest were some small islands. Yang Xin couldn’t remember such places at all and certainly couldn’t draw them, but he could add the Aleutian Islands to show they knew more than the Kunyu Wanguo Tu map. Antarctica could be drawn more realistically; the Antarctica on the Kunyu Wanguo Tu was too exaggerated. At this time, Europeans hadn’t discovered Antarctica either; that land was their imagined southern continent.
They even earnestly imagined the creatures there.
However, Yang Xin didn’t know much about the countries of various regions at that time, only having a general impression, so drawing national borders on it wasn’t really possible. At most, they could only mark the names of the major countries.
Fortunately, that wasn’t a big issue.
Wanli wouldn’t care about that.
The Kunyu Wanguo Tu also had plenty of parts that were guessed by the Missionaries.
Moreover, this fit the standards of the Great Ming at that time better. After all, according to the Great Ming’s tributary system, all foreign lands were barbarian states. There was no need for borders between the Great Ming and them. The Emperor of the Ming Dynasty was the lord of all under heaven; wherever the sun and moon shone belonged to Wanli. What would drawing borders mean? To place Wanli on equal footing with those barbarians? This way, the terrestrial globe could be renamed. For example, ‘The Great Ming All-Lands-Under-Heaven Instrument.’ This wasn’t to let Wanli know how many countries there were outside. It was to let him know how many barbarians outside still hadn’t come to pay tribute. So borders were completely unnecessary. Instead, they should draw the major rivers, mountains, lakes, and the like. It would be best to also draw a sailing Battleship for him, modeled after the Victory, to inspire His Majesty the Emperor of the Ming Dynasty’s ambitious spirit…
There wasn’t much hope for Wanli.
Barring unforeseen circumstances, he should ascend to heaven next year.
“You can’t just make the terrestrial globe. You must also add the local customs, even history and products. That would make it complete. If you can’t write on the terrestrial globe, then simply compile a separate booklet, especially about the history of these places. Those rare birds and strange beasts can also be drawn. Our goal is to make His Majesty happy. If His Majesty is happy, my second uncle only needs to mention it slightly. Not only could your crime of killing that Liu Qi be pardoned, but it’s entirely possible for you to be granted an official position as well.”
Fang Tinglan said.
“Um, if I say I don’t know how to write many characters, you won’t laugh at me because of that, will you?”
Yang Xin said.
Fang Tinglan looked at him, stunned.
Immediately after, she finally couldn’t hold back and burst into a radiant smile.
“You’re actually illiterate?”
She pointed at Yang Xin, trembling with laughter.
“Whether I’m literate or not isn’t important. What’s important is, do you know there’s a term called a wardrobe malfunction?”
Yang Xin said cautiously.
As he spoke, he extended a finger and pointed toward her chest.
Fang Tinglan was at a loss. Following his finger, she looked down at her own chest.
At this time, it was actually the middle of the fifth lunar month. The weather was already very hot, and she only wore a pink gauze garment. Gauze was actually only slightly better than sheer silk. But because she was busy painting the map with Yang Xin, she had sweated a lot. She herself, fully immersed in the work, hadn’t noticed. Her uproarious laughter like this made the thin gauze garment cling tightly to her skin, revealing the red undergarment inside—essentially something similar to European women’s corsets. It also revealed the color of her skin beneath. Because of the contrast with the undergarment’s color and the color of the gauze garment, it really looked pink and tender, and there was even quite a noticeable indentation…
She really was well-endowed.
Keep in mind, the undergarment didn’t lift upward; in fact, this thing wrapped quite tightly. If it could still show an indentation, it could only mean the undergarment was a bit unable to contain things.
But by the standards of this era, this truly counted as a wardrobe malfunction.
Fang Tinglan let out a shocked cry.
Her pretty face flushed bright red instantly, and then she crossed her arms over her chest…
“That’s even worse than before. That was visual stimulation, but this is a direct mental impact!”
Yang Xin said, speechless.
Her facial expression now, combined with this set of actions, was more stimulating to Yang Xin than that negligible indentation, a far more severe impact.
“Lecher!”
Fang Tinglan said, ashamed and angry.
“If I were a lecher, I wouldn’t have reminded you!”
Yang Xin said.
Fang Tinglan turned her head, took the half-sleeved jacket He Xiang handed her, and quickly put it on. Suddenly, a slight smile appeared…
“You paint it yourself!”
She said, pretending to be angry.
After saying this, she turned to leave.
Yang Xin was dumbfounded. What could he paint? He didn’t even know how to write characters!
“Graceful is the Yan maiden, fifteen years old, accustomed to trailing long skirts, not taking dainty steps. Amidst the crowd, a radiant glance through, human beauty seems mere dust. A tree stands tall, flowers just blooming, apart from nature’s grace, wishing to give praise finds no words. Facing the Wu lady who boasts fine dancing, pitiable, always mistaken by the waist’s sway.”
He recited the poem without hesitation.
He didn’t believe this literary young lady could withstand the line, “Amidst the crowd, a radiant glance through, human beauty seems mere dust.”
Fang Tinglan stood there, her shoulders trembling a few times, then she turned around gracefully…
“I’ll let you off this time, for now!”
She said, pointing at Yang Xin with a resentful tone.
Beside them, little sister He Xiang finally couldn’t hold back and burst out laughing.
“What are you laughing at? Standing there wearing so little, what kind of decorum is that!”
Fang Tinglan shouted, her face red.
Poor little sister He Xiang, who had just taken off her half-sleeved jacket for her, could only lower her head and leave this place of trouble, no longer acting as Cannon Fodder for the two of them. Before leaving the door, she even gave Yang Xin an encouraging look. Clearly, this little maid’s thoughts were no longer so pure. Or perhaps she understood her young lady too well. A man and a woman alone in a room, not wearing more but instead wearing the most fetching garment—this was clearly a sign of agitation. Little sister He Xiang even knew to put a half-sleeved jacket over her gauze garment!
Spring had arrived, it was the season for animals to mate again…
Only Yang Xin and Fang Tinglan remained in the room. The latter, with a red face, lowered her head and bent over the desk, painting the map.
Yang Xin, on the other hand, didn’t mind at all. He hadn’t intended to pursue her.
He had merely touched her—no, it couldn’t even be called touching. It was an accident, to save her, completely pure without any impure thoughts. He wouldn’t go so far as to take responsibility over something like this, bravely challenging the current moral system. On this issue, he was still quite clear-headed. The gap between them could be said to be a class chasm, the difference between a scholar and a Commoner. No matter how much he plagiarized Wang Guowei, it couldn’t change the fact that he was a Commoner as defined by Great Ming law. How could the Fang family tolerate their young lady being sullied by a Commoner?
This completely violated the current moral system.
If something like this really happened, even Miss Fang would have to face the pointing fingers of thousands and the scornful gazes of the entire society. Even in the plays of that time, at most they would sing of Cui Yingying and Student Zhang eloping. Note that the latter was a ‘student’; he was one heading to the capital for the imperial exams, a Provincial Scholar. And the oil seller at most only managed to have the top courtesan all to himself. Note: the latter meaning refers to a prostitute.
If it were Cui Yingying following the oil seller…
That would overturn all order!
Even in plays they wouldn’t dare sing such a thing!
“Your hand shouldn’t tremble. Can you paint properly like this?”
He looked at Fang Tinglan’s slightly trembling hand and said with a look of dissatisfaction.
Fang Tinglan bit her lip and raised her head, glaring fiercely at his face less than a foot away from hers. Amidst the warm breath he exhaled, she made as if to throw the brush. Yang Xin hastily switched to the gentlest, most tender gaze.