Chapter 29: The Stockings Operation!

…

However, many things can’t be solved just by sheer determination.

Like demanding that your teacher personally take off her stockings or underwear to give to you—that definitely wouldn’t work…

[Countdown: 5 minutes, start!]

What? I never heard about any countdown!

That System truly was a nasty beast, kicking a man while he’s down and making things worse.

But seriously—shouldn’t Hiratsuka Shizuka-sensei show some mercy? Considering Himekoji Akito’s life was already miserable enough, she still didn’t hold back at all. She promptly gave his offered forehead a firm, decisive knock.

Thwack

A crisp, sharp sound echoed from his forehead.

“Oow! Ouch! That hurts! I’m dying!”

Himekoji Akito wasted no time, sprawling his limbs wide and dramatically collapsing to the floor.

“Sensei, I think I’m dying…”

Knowing you can’t catch the prey without throwing the bait, Akito had resolved to go all out. Lying corpse-like on the ground, he put on his most earnest and sincere face, feigning a near-death state to say—

“Hiratsuka Shizuka-sensei, before I die… I just have one last wish. Could you… um… could you take off your underwear and give it to me?”

“Oh, hurry up and die already. After you’re dead, I might consider burning your underwear for you.”

Hiratsuka-sensei glanced down at the boy sprawled at her feet, then calmly lit a cigarette.

Himekoji: “…”

Damn, am I really your student? Could you be a tiny bit human?

Seeing this tactic backfired spectacularly, Himekoji sprang nimbly back to his feet. His previous “about to die” act vanished without a trace.

Hmm, since Plan A flopped, time to switch tactics.

Comparing the difficulty of the options, stockings definitely seemed way easier than underwear. Akito mentally compared them, scolding himself for getting greedy earlier.

So, time to refocus on the stockings.

“Sensei, aren’t those stockings you’re wearing mine?” Himekoji put on a rare, serious expression, trying hard to look stern.

But with that awful line, he just couldn’t seem dignified.

“Dunno.”

Hiratsuka-sensei leisurely blew out smoke, not even bothering to humor his pointless question.

“Yes! They are mine! Please take them off and return them! They’ve even got my name written right on them!” Himekoji insisted righteously.

“Over your dead body?”

But a single woman nearing thirty wasn’t someone to mess with. Hiratsuka-sensei slammed her desk, rising to her feet before unleashing a furious tirade directly at Himekoji Akito:

“Messing around in the Classroom wasn’t enough? Now you dare set your sights on me? Get your butt out of my sight and don’t come back until you finish a fifty-thousand-word Self-reflection essay!”

Fifty-thousand words?!

Yikes! Instant fear gripped Himekoji.

“S-Sensei, it was just a joke, okay?” Himekoji Akito plastered on a cheeky smile, shifting into full flattery mode. “Just a pair of stockings? I’d never dream of troubling you about that! A good horse needs a saddle, a beauty needs stockings. And whoever truly cherishes them should hold them. Someone like you, Sensei—a real standout among women—owning them is only right and proper…”

Hiratsuka-sensei remained completely unmoved, only offering him a cold stare reserved for idiots.

Mid-praise, Himekoji trailed off awkwardly.

Nope. Plan B = FAIL.

Onwards to Plan C!

“Sensei, would you like to try the cookies I baked especially for you?” Without a hint of shame, Himekoji pulled out the cookies Yuigahama had earlier given him and presented them as his own “homemade” offering.

“Bribery won’t work on me, kid.”

See? Hiratsuka-sensei’s guard was sky-high!

“Bribery? Perish the thought! But since we’re speaking of mutual kindness… I sincerely hope that if you accept my humble cookies, you might return the favor with a small token of appreciation?”

As Himekoji spoke, his gaze shamelessly, blatantly wandered over Hiratsuka-sensei’s long, slender legs. In his eyes? Only the stockings.

Seriously?! Could you be any more obvious?!

“Hmm, how about these extra handouts and this ‘Fifth-Year Study Guide: Three-Year Exams Mock-Up’? Help yourself.”

Hiratsuka-sensei was being incredibly generous.

The smile plastered on Himekoji’s face instantly froze, then crumbled…

Who wanted that useless stuff?! I wouldn’t touch it even if someone paid me!

But Akito had the next part ready; Plan C was a multi-step sting operation.

The canned drink he’d bought for himself earlier now awaited its moment.

Stealthily behind his back, Akito pried open the pull-tab of the soda can.

At that exact moment, Hiratsuka-sensei picked up one peculiar, misshapen cookie.

The Female Teacher held the cookie under scrutiny, frowning slightly. Her sexy, red lips parted hesitantly, obviously battling whether to actually put this “uniquely contoured” morsel into her mouth.

It was only then that Himekoji noticed how awful Yuigahama’s cookies actually looked…

“Look, I’m not bragging, but don’t let looks fool you! The taste is guaranteed to blow your mind!”

He had no choice but to bluff now.

“Probably…”

The moment the words left his mouth, he secretly doubted them.

After a visible struggle, Hiratsuka-sensei gave in. Why? Maybe because this was the first time in her twenty-seven single years that she’d received homemade cookies from an unmarried man?

Even if said unmarried man was her student…

Crunch

The cookie entered her mouth.

“Sensei, cookies are kinda dry, right? Here, I brought a drink!” Seizing his chance, Akito swiftly poured a ‘refreshing’ libation for his Hiratsuka-sensei.

Then, performing an exaggerated leg-stumble routine, he ‘accidentally’ managed to take the perfect, calculated fall.

The entire can of MAX Coffee poured out, achieving uncanny precision as it thoroughly soaked the Female Teacher’s cool, sexy stockings.

“Agh! Sensei! So clumsy! Oh no, oh no! Your stockings! All soaked! Whatever shall we do?”

He didn’t even pause for breath before proposing his ‘solution’:

“How about we take them right off? I’ll rush over to wash them for you!”

Perfect! Mission successful! Akito felt a surge of mysterious confidence.

However, Hiratsuka Shizuka-sensei’s focus remained elsewhere—a place far away from her wet stockings.

“Hi-Me-Ko-Ji—”

The Female Teacher’s voice emerged like an icy wind from the underworld, bone-chillingly cold.

Huh? Impossible! It was just an ‘accidental’ spilling! Why so much anger?

Akito felt a jolt of inexplicable panic…

“Sick of being a Pervert? Decided to become a murderer instead?”

Hiratsuka Shizuka glared, her face dark, clutching her throat painfully.

“Huh? Huh? Murderer?!”

What is she talking about?

“You little brat… poisoned… the cookies?!” She accused, vibrating with righteous fury. This pillar-of-strength woman suddenly looked mortally wounded, face twisting like she’d swallowed the ultimate insult. “That? Tastes? Like? SHIT? And you called it a COOKIE?!”

That exaggerated? Like she’d actually eaten…? Come on!

He figured they just looked awful. How bad could they taste anyway?

Akito couldn’t endure this slander. If poor Yuigahama ever heard her heartfelt baking effort described this way—she’d definitely break down crying!

So, with an act of supreme courage, he reached for the cookies himself.

Crunch

The cookie settled on his tongue.

Then, in the next second, Akito… dissolved. Into stone stillness.

One second… Two seconds… Three seconds…

Damn! Can’t take it! Oh God, it actually TASTES LIKE SHIT!

Yuigahama! You run off and cry yourself a river right now! And apologize to the concept of cookies!!

Seriously, no joke—this was the single most brutally inaccurate portrayal of cookies Himekoji Akito had ever witnessed! Ever!

The stupidly awful, crap-tasting cookie utterly derailed Akito’s Stockings Operation.

The true culprit? Yuigahama!