Chapter 16: The Absolutely Right Snow Queen and the Absolutely Wrong Himekoji

…

Since Japan enacted the “Public Order and Morals Healthy Development Act” sixteen years ago, the country had banned every word connected to “sex”.

High school student Okuma Rikichi entered the highly disciplined school Tokioka Academy, where Anna, the senior he looked up to, was student council president. But he was caught by the shameful group “Snowfield Blue” and forced to join SOX, the group of troublemakers spreading dirty jokes…!

Was it a prison? Or was it sacred ground?

Winner of the 39th Fantastic Grand Prize, the exciting debut of an expected newcomer──An unlimited dirty joke comedy! Enjoy yourselves!

…

Himekoji Akito was a pretend novelist who used his sense of shame as the price for writing stories. “Shimoneta: A Boring World Where the Concept of Dirty Jokes Doesn’t Exist” was his debut work.

Back in the previous life, this book had made it big in China due to its fresh and unusual ideas. However, its actual sales in Japan were not amazing.

Still, for a debut work by Himekoji Akito, that was more than good enough.

From when he first submitted the story to Fujisawa Library last year until now, this novel had officially reached its seventh volume. That was very fast.

Himekoji pulled one volume off the shelf and flipped straight to the illustrations page.

There was a girl with underwear on her head… Black long straight hair… Under the white cloak, there was nothing underneath…

No, not that one!

So he moved his eyes to the next illustration…

Black-rimmed glasses… a beautiful, old-fashioned triple braid… and a dignified-looking Yamato Nadeshiko face.

Yes, you could see it right away. The girl in the illustration had the exact same vibes as Hanjo Ayame!

“You wrote this whole book using her as your inspiration, right?”

Eriri’s bright, clear question from before seemed to echo in his ears again, loud and clear.

Using her as inspiration? Wait… this actually IS her!

Himekoji couldn’t help but sink into his thoughts.

That was strange… was he actually in the world of dirty jokes all along? But the setting was completely different!

He wasn’t quite sure… He couldn’t understand it. So, Himekoji finally shook his head, deciding not to worry about it. Anyway, it didn’t matter to him, whatever it might be.

All this happened because he’d watched too few anime in his past life…

By the way… did Hanjo Ayame ever read this novel? That question suddenly popped into his mind.

If she read it… wouldn’t she get angry? After all, in the book, she was written as a dirty joke terrorist…

But one thing was something to be thankful for: Himekoji had used a penname…

…

The next day.

Himekoji Akito did the usual things. He kept acting like a pervert. After a tiring yet somehow exciting day at school, he was getting ready to pack his things and leave.

But at the school entrance, Hiratsuka-sensei caught him like prey. She was waiting there, arms crossed.

“Himekoji,” she said, “It’s time for your club activity.”

Damn, are you a prison guard? He rolled his eyes at her, feeling annoyed.

Honestly, if Hiratsuka-sensei just added a military uniform and a whip, she’d be perfect. Thinking that way… school really was no different from prison!

“I heard that just after I left yesterday, you also ran away?”

Hiratsuka-sensei was smiling, but it looked like a bad-kind-of-nice smile.

And who did the teacher hear it from? No need to think hard about that. Good students are just teachers’ dogs. Why are they still into snitching even in high school?

Calling a cute high school girl a dog might be too mean. But for Himekoji, he felt no guilt about it at all.

Because Yukinoshita was just cute to look at… No… actually, having a cute appearance on a girl like her was a complete waste! It was a horrible waste!

They hadn’t known each other long. But he felt he understood her personality around eighty to ninety percent–

An elite student who looks down on others. Who naturally scorns everyone. That sharp tongue isn’t any kind of charm; it’s verbal violence! More than being tsundere… she was just plain unlikable.

If every day meant facing someone as difficult as this beautiful girl… Himekoji would have been completely desperate about school life… even though he was pretty much there already…

But Hiratsuka-sensei didn’t think about his feelings at all. She just stood nearby, smiling as if it didn’t concern her.

“Come on,” she said.

Without giving him a chance to refuse, she pulled Himekoji along—and he looked very unwilling.

“If you try to run away in the middle ever again, I’ll treat you with my fist,” she said.

For a female teacher who specialized in martial arts, this threat was very normal.

“Isn’t that decision kind of… rushed?”

Himekoji Akito complained.

“Not at all,” Hiratsuka-sensei replied. “I thought about it seriously before deciding. Compared to a complete screw-up and total pervert like you, Yukinoshita is, without a doubt, absolutely correct. So, if there is anyone who can truly reform you… to help you become a decent person… then without a doubt, that person must be Yukinoshita.”

“Wait, ‘become a decent person’ doesn’t fit me at all! I’m no criminal! Also, you really think it’s OK as a teacher to say something so bad about your own student? Besides, who in this world is absolutely correct? If someone was absolutely correct… in some ways, that means they are absolutely wrong!”

He had so many complaints… He couldn’t even pick a place to start.

“No more excuses!” Hiratsuka-sensei said sternly. “Go see Yukinoshita so she can fix you!”

Her high heels went “click-clack” on the floor. Hiratsuka dragged Himekoji toward the Service Club. She also held onto his wrist tightly. This made Himekoji look like he was going out with some kind of adult-teacher.

Well… using that kind of description for his own teacher… Himekoji Akito really was kind of perverted…

But there were three differences:

First, Himekoji didn’t pay any money. Second, Hiratsuka wasn’t holding his arm lovingly; she was just grabbing his wrist very firmly, without any feelings to it. Third, Himekoji didn’t feel happy about it, nor was he excited.

Even though his elbow touched the teacher’s chest… something as big and grand as Mt. Fuji… his hormones were calm and silent. Because soon after this… he would be thrown into the club activity room again.

A place that, for him, felt exactly like an isolation ward.

“Uh… I won’t run away this time. I’ll go alone. See, I’m always alone. It’s fine being by myself. In fact, if you don’t leave me alone, I can’t get calm…”

He was trying to make a plan to get away.

“Don’t say such sad things,” said Hiratsuka Shizuka.

Suddenly, her face showed a truly gentle smile. It was completely different from the usual sharp stare she gave him when angry. This big change surprised Himekoji. It made his heart skip a beat.

“I want to go… with you.”

For a moment, he felt touched. But the very next second─

“Rather than getting angry because you sneaked off, even I don’t want to be seen going together… But this way, I can at least be reassured.”

Oh, what? She dropped the act too quickly!

“That reason is terrible!”

“What are you talking about?” Hiratsuka-sensei countered. “Even though I find you annoying, I have no choice! I do all of this care for you… to help you become a new person! What perfect love between teacher and student!”

“Is that love? That kind of thing is love? Then love itself shouldn’t even exist!”

Hey, apologize to everyone who still wishes for love, you jerk!

“Tsk tsk tsk…” She smiled as she said it. “Saying such things just shows how twisted your character has become.”

With a smile, she delivered a final judgment.

Hey, why was she so happy when she just decided that her student’s character was completely messed up?

“Ah, that reminds me…” Hiratsuka-sensei added. “From the eyes of someone as twisted as you… what kind of person is Yukinoshita Yukino?”

She asked that question out of the blue.

“I find her unlikable.”

Himekoji Akito didn’t hesitate while answering.

A girl like Yukinoshita, a privileged beauty, elite student… sticking to her own rules… sticking to her own belief in what is correct… She would naturally dislike someone like Himekoji. To her eyes, he was totally and absolutely wrong.

Since she was sure to hate him, regardless… it was better if he started hating her first first.

So… maybe that’s what being absolutely wrong actually meant? For someone like Himekoji Akito… that was the only right way to see it.