Chapter 145: Unspeakable at the Cinema…

“L-Little Akito is also writing a novel?”

Yuigahama stared wide-eyed at Himekoji, looking left and right, completely unable to believe it.

“I couldn’t tell at all!”

“Well, that makes sense. Don’t listen to her nonsense…”

Himekoji rubbed his forehead, exasperated.

There was absolutely no way he could admit he was writing a novel. Otherwise, when people inevitably asked what it was about, how could he possibly say that embarrassing title out loud?…

Basically, “Shimoneta: A Boring World Where the Concept of Dirty Jokes Doesn’t Exist” wasn’t the kind of novel Himekoji could proudly introduce to classmates or friends with his head held high.

It was far better to hide it, keep it secret, and make his money quietly. That was the principle behind his writing… no, his copying.

Actually, mentioning “classmates or friends” wasn’t entirely accurate. Since when did someone like Himekoji have friends?

So, all he needed to worry about was how to keep hiding the truth from suddenly curious and nosy classmates like Yuigahama.

“Just like you couldn’t tell I’m writing a novel. Or how about this: if you didn’t know this guy, could you tell at first glance he’s a total pervert?”

Slouching lazily, Kasumigaoka rested her cheek, which still held a faint flush, on her hand. She spoke slowly, deliberately.

“No one thinks you’re mute if you stay quiet! Shut up and focus on diligently ‘containing the flood’!”

Himekoji was thoroughly annoyed by Kasumigaoka. He could only glare at her, lower his voice, and snap helplessly.

“Of course. Pervert-kun’s pervertedness has always been right on the surface. His twisted, rotten, and warped gaze alone is enough to make anyone think ‘pervert’ after just one look.”

As soon as Kasumigaoka closed her mouth, a black-haired, long-haired girl with nothing better to do promptly jumped in.

Seriously, what kind of mean-spirited relay race was this?

“Hmph. People seeing me as a super handsome guy at first glance is far more likely…”

Himekoji could only offer this token protest, trying to salvage what little dignity he had left.

“Eh? So what is Little Akito’s novel about?”

Yuigahama grew more and more curious. That half-told secret feeling was unbearable, making her itch to know!

“Uh…” Kasumigaoka started to open her mouth, ready to blurt out and betray Himekoji cleanly. But she didn’t expect the quick-reacting Himekoji to suddenly ambush her.

[Pleasure Enhancement!]

Kasumigaoka could only manage a single, intensely suppressed ♂ moan before collapsing like a puddle of warm water, “plop” face-first onto the table.

Her shoulders kept shuddering in a ♂ spasm-like motion…

“Eh? What? Utaha Senpai, are you okay?”

It scared Yuigahama half to death.

“She’s fine. Just job-related issues writers get.”

Himekoji tossed out the lie while subtly retracting the ‘Sexual Harassment Hand’ he’d “carelessly” slipped between the girl’s legs into that mysterious zone.

Damp… sticky…

Yep, sure enough—

Every time Himekoji touched sensitive areas on a member of the opposite sex, “Pleasure Enhancement” triggered immediately with a 100% success rate.

Looks like this “golden finger” was becoming easier for Himekoji to figure out!

After diligently testing and experimenting for so long…

“J-Job-related issues?!”

That sounded terrifying!

Yuigahama was frightened again.

Truly, the phrase “big chest but simple-minded” was remarkably apropos.

“Huh? Huh huh huh?!”

Meanwhile, Eriri, also being “in the same circle,” looked much harder to fool.

Gritting her sharp little fangs that looked “utterly fierce,” she stared fixedly and intensely at Himekoji and Kasumigaoka.

Job-related issues? What kind of job issues involve ♂ panting and spasming?!

Luckily, the suspicious Eriri couldn’t find any concrete evidence. Otherwise, if the “option” had been instantly judged a failure, Himekoji would’ve probably been done for right then and there.

After this incident, Kasumigaoka finally became much more subdued. With Himekoji’s careful help and strong cover, her “flood containment” efforts were surprisingly successful, allowing them to get through the half-hour dinner without further alarm.

…

The Cinema.

Himekoji entered surrounded by four girls… Yeah, right.

He trailed alone at the very back of the group, all by himself. Ah, this felt like the proper story progression, after all.

Yukinoshita took the lead effortlessly, walking briskly and cleanly at the front—classic her style.

Yuigahama trailed behind her like a little tail.

Kasumigaoka, because of a certain unspeakable secret beneath her skirt, moved slowly and also lingered near the rear.

Eriri rushed ahead first to the ticket counter, taking charge and snatching the job of buying tickets.

Hmm, buying tickets… didn’t Himekoji just buy one with Saika this afternoon?

He instinctively reached into his pocket, fishing out the movie ticket still perfectly intact—no wrinkles or creases anywhere.

Too bad… it was expired…

Thinking this, Himekoji pulled out his phone. It took him two whole minutes to work up the courage. Gritting his teeth, he flung caution to the wind and sent the text message out in one go:

[You back home? Sorry about this afternoon, things came up suddenly.]

Only after the “Message Sent” notification sounded did Himekoji suddenly realize what he had just done…

He, a believer in “Long Live Solitude,” had actually taken the initiative to reach out to someone?

Holy crap, he really did it?!

For the first time in over a year, he was actually using the text messaging function on his phone!

And not to check his balance, or reply to a scam call, or even message his editor about work!

Wait, he shouldn’t celebrate yet.

Himekoji suddenly remembered a fragment of a bad memory buried deep in his mind.

Back when he hadn’t fully grasped how much his perceived pervert-status scared and troubled others, he once plucked up courage to message some girl using a social app.

And then… well, there was no “and then.”

Just the app kindly informing him—

A glaring red exclamation point, and the words “Message sent, but rejected by the recipient.”

So… what if Totsuka blocked him?

Him standing them up this afternoon was pretty lousy behavior. Even he felt bad just thinking about it.

The relief he felt upon sending the text instantly transformed back into nervousness.

Seriously, refusing all contact and being alone for so long was toxic! Now he was second-guessing sending a simple text?

And it was to a guy… Yeah, thankfully it was to a guy. If Totsuka was a girl, there was no way Himekoji could’ve brought himself to message her first. No way under any threat.

Teasing the opposite sex and getting rejected and blocked again were trivial matters.

The real disaster would be if they actually fell for me!

After that, there would be costs, efforts, and maybe even expectations for returns—none of which Himikoji, a pervert, could fulfill.

Ah, the life of a pervert is indeed as lonely as snow…

But come to think of it, with such a setup, it felt like he had this cool, lonely kind of charm!

Himikoji smirked, entertaining this thought to himself.

Then, the next moment, he received a reply message—

[Yup, I’m home already. No need to apologize, Akito is amazing, the movie was great too, today was really fun!]

The reply came far quicker than Himikoji expected. If it were some girls, he guessed they’d wait half a day before sending something like, “Oh, just got out of the shower,” right?

Such a difference!

Not blocked, nor any complaints about the afternoon incident—Himikoji immediately felt much more relaxed.

Holding his phone, he began texting Totsuka to chat about everyday life, hoping to rebuild his texting skills that had almost entirely faded over the past year.

But suddenly, a voice interrupted him—

“Hey Akito, seriously, what is this novel you’re writing? I’m beyond curious!”

Without noticing when, Yuigahama had quietly slipped to his side, her eyes sparkling brightly as she brought up the unresolved question from earlier at the dinner table.

“What? It’s nothing! Because I never wrote any! Seriously, aren’t you just too nosy?”

Annoyed, Himikoji continued dodging and putting Yuigahama off.

“Nosy? No, no. It’s the deep desire to know—a powerful urge that can even triumph over hunger and sex ♂ desire!”

Kasumigaoka Utaha, who could barely stand without leaning on the wall or Himekoji for support, still jumped into the conversation effortlessly from the sidelines, even as her legs shook uncontrollably.

“Stop slipping your weird desires into the middle of your sentences like it’s totally fine!”

Himikoji felt completely exasperated.

“Sex… sex ♂ desire? Huh?! I… I must have misheard, right?”

Hearing such a bold word from her seemingly quiet and calm Senpai, Yuigahama seemed completely thrown off balance.

She couldn’t believe her ears.

“Yes, misheard… Also, prepare for phantom sounds happening now and then from here on.”

Himikoji completely understood Yuigahama’s shock.

After all, to the underclassmen who didn’t know better, Kasumigaoka Utaha—with her perfect looks, rare literary talents, and supposedly gentle personality—was completely the idol in everyone’s hearts.

Yet even a little contact revealed just how careless her words could be: the shockingly crude jokes, the sharp insults… The shattering of that idolization must indeed be tough to accept.

So, a word of advice to those young underclassmen still dreaming: please, maintain your distance from Kasumigaoka Senpai, so that fantasy won’t just vanish all at once…

Hmm, no need to say thanks—this is all pure, personal experience and wisdom from Himikoji, here freely shared with everyone!

……

Bullshit! Last time you tricked us into steering clear of Sensei Hiratsuka, calling her some violent, old, unmarried hag. And now you bring up Kasumigaoka Senpai?

Next thing you know, you’ll even make us scared to look at Yukinoshita, won’t you?

……

Hmm, Himikoji couldn’t hear any of this inner monologue at all.

Even if he heard it, he’d definitely act like he didn’t.

……

“Two tickets side by side, and one single seat—the worst seat in the corner, with the worst possible view!”

Tickets for Yukinoshita and Yuigahama were booked online already, so the ones Eriri came to buy were for her, Himikoji, and the utterly redundant Kasumigaoka—three in total.

“Huh? The worst view? Are… are you sure?”

The ticket vendor, with plenty of experience under his belt, had never seen a customer with such an odd request.

“Of course! The absolute worst! The worst of the worst! Also, make sure that single seat is as far away from the paired seats as possible!”

Why else would Eriri happily volunteer to handle ticket buying?

So, when the vendor asked with confusion, she answered without a shred of hesitation.

Eriri, you’re utterly brilliant!

Cheerfully swinging her ponytail, the girl gave herself a mental thumbs-up.

Take that, loser Kasumigaoka!

Think you can beat me?

Humph!

“Oh? Ah… alright. So… let’s see, how about the corner seat of the very last row?”

“Perfect! Absolutely perfect! That seat—I want that one!”

Overcome by excitement, Eriri slammed a palm “smack!” down on the counter.

“Ouch…”

Lost in the moment, she used too much force—and instantly brought her reddened small hand to her face, her eyes watering…

“Ma’am… customer, are you alright?”

“I-I’m fine! Wow—that really hurts… waaah…”

……

“Tickets bought, humph!”

Eriri waved the three little tickets, chin held high, looking very proud, as if waiting for everyone to thank her profusely.

Truly the blueprint for a classic tsundere, Himekoji thought with admiration…

“Good job, good job.”

Humoring her, Himikoji offered a somewhat half-hearted compliment.

“Humph~”

The tone was cheerful, her expression bright.

With someone like her, it really was easy to tell whether she was happy or angry…

“Here. This one’s for Akito.”

Satisfied, Eriri handed Himikoji his ticket.

“Kasumigaoka.”

Then she spun around, her face instantly cold as she tossed the last ticket dismissively to her.

“You don’t need to pay me back. Consider it a handout!”

Putting on every air of a spoiled heiress.

Of course, Kasumigaoka Utaha—a bestselling light novel writer whose debut novel sold over half a million copies—was just as well off financially.

Either one of them could afford to keep Himikoji entirely.

Even so, and despite matching financially, Kasumigaoka was still being tormented by the strange forces below her belt, leaving her unable to land a comeback blow and forced to endure this round.

……

It wasn’t until after they entered that Kasumigaoka Utaha noticed something amiss.

Checking the seating, Himikoji, Eriri, even Yukinoshita and Yuigahama all headed toward rows five and six. Only she was sitting far at the back of the theater—

Row 10, Seat 15!

A cramped corner seat where she couldn’t see the screen clearly… and the screen barely noticed her at all!

Normally these terrible seats were left unsold.

Therefore…

Casually leaning forward to observe, Kasumigaoka immediately spotted Eriri turning back to look at her, throwing a proud “V for Victory” sign her way.

Almost at the same time, Himikoji—sitting beside Eriri—noticed the arrangement too.

His first reaction, though… was pure relief.

Relief, absolute relief indeed.

After all—

With Kasumigaoka stuck miles away out of sight, wasn’t that the perfect chance for her disaster control measures to be hidden? And whatever commotion followed would fly under Eriri’s radar!

Solid!

So… go for it!

Silently, Himekoji cheered her on from afar.

After this self-proclaimed “more than merciful” act, he felt an overwhelming sense of release.

No more worries about covering for her, or fearing she’d be caught.

From here on, it had nothing to do with him—Kasumi could work it out solo from there.

Relaxed and carefree—that’s exactly how Himikoji felt at that moment.

He was basking in relief.

Yet less than thirty seconds later… Himekoji’s phone suddenly buzzed intensely.

A message… from Kasumigaoka…

……