Chapter 13: Hanjo Ayame, Your Character Makes No Sense!

…

“Will holding it like this work?”

A real, sharp sensation—Himekoji’s privates were gripped by a pair of chopsticks!

Yeah, gripped by chopsticks…

Hold on, are you doing magic tricks? Where the heck did you even get those chopsticks?!

“So you really are allergic to having it touched?”

The girl gave a lightning-fast sideways glance, a faint blush flashing across her cheeks before vanishing. Then, as if suddenly scared by catching sight of the real deal, she hastily turned her gaze away.

So that’s it—you didn’t believe me from the start? And if it had been a joke, what exactly were you planning to do?!

Even in this moment, Himekoji Akito’s first instinct was to mentally fire off complaints.

He then stared strangely down at the part of himself now trapped by the chopsticks. It felt bizarre, like seeing a sausage on a dinner plate getting picked up to be eaten. His mind blanked briefly, and his body instinctively took over, releasing the pent-up flood.

The next instant, his whole body shuddered!

It had been held back for so long, and when the dam broke, it was pure, blissful relief! It felt like electricity zapping wildly through him, making goosebumps pop up everywhere with a Pikapika!

Of course, Himekoji Akito would never admit that a big part of this wonderful feeling was because a beautiful girl was right beside him, holding the “faucet” while watching the… event so intimately.

How twisted was that as a bonus?!

The stimulation made his little guy, seeming to catch the mood, swell up proudly, looking aggressive and mighty.

Damn it, why’s this happening now?!

So perverted…

Enough! Shameless thing, have some limits!

Himekoji Akito was so embarrassed he felt like smashing his head against the toilet stall.

Calm down, calm down! He tried desperately to rein in his wildly misbehaving lower half.

The result—

[Squirtle! I choose you! Use Skull Bash and Water Pulse!]

The System threw in some extra fuel.

Himekoji Akito must have been hallucinating, because he even imagined his little guy throwing back its head in a triumphant howl…

Then, like a jet stream, Himekoji’s privates—the very “Squirtle” announced by the System—became crazily ferocious, shaking wildly like it was drugged, launching indiscriminate attacks on everything around it.

This power wasn’t Water Pulse; it was Hyper Beam!

“Hold steady! Steady!” Himekoji yelled frantically, but the girl standing nearby seemed not to hear him at all, not moving a muscle.

He quickly glanced over and saw why: while her one hand held the chopsticks clamped onto his privates, her other hand was firmly covering her eyes.

Yeah, covering them…

Hey, you’re not even looking! How are you supposed to hold it straight?!

Is my little brother that scary?! Looking at it won’t make you pregnant!

You waltz into the men’s restroom without a care, crack risqué jokes right off the bat, acting bold and fearless—that’s your character! So why start pretending to be bashful now?! Stay true to your character!

…

[Ding!]

[Completed a Full Assistance Quest. Reward: 100 x 2D Points.]

…

When Himekoji Akito emerged from the restroom, a small part of his shoe and pant leg was wet…

Only kidding!

—It was drenched.

Thanks to the System’s tireless mischief, Squirtle’s Water Pulse had gotten MAX-level buffed, turning into an “Accelerated Water Pulse” straight out of scientific experimentation. It hit a critical spot, scored a massive critical hit, and was super effective.

Those chopsticks that were supposed to be helping just ended up making things worse…

Himekoji Akito’s face was stormy.

The female classmate stood far away from him, looking awkward.

“How can you be that old and still wet your pants?” A textbook case of getting your accusation in first.

Knowing the best defence is a good offence, she clearly understood the strategy.

“Whose fault do you think this is?” Mentioning it shot a bolt of anger through Himekoji Akito. “And this isn’t ‘wetting my pants’!”

“You begged for my help! And wet pants mean wet pants!” came the ready retort.

Himekoji choked back his words. Because as much as he hated to admit it, she had a point. He couldn’t actually refute her.

For crying out loud. Every single bit of this mess was the System’s fault!

Realizing logic was failing him, Himekoji Akito smoothly shifted all the blame to the System in his mind.

“Here, you keep these,” the girl said, pinching her nose and reluctantly stepping forward, stopping a good half-meter away. She stretched out her arm, carefully offering her “Anti-Rooster Weapon” to Himekoji-kun.

Seeing the undisguised disgust on her face, Himekoji just wanted to disappear.

Hey! Can’t be that smelly! You don’t need to hold your nose!

Grabbing the chopsticks awkwardly, he opened his mouth but found no words.

“Do you… need to change pants?”

The girl, glancing at Himekoji Akito’s drenched lower half, suddenly asked.

“If there are any spare pants…”

He barely got the words out when the girl pulled a uniform bag from her own bag and held it out to him.

“They probably won’t fit well, but if you don’t mind, you can use them.”

Himekoji hesitated briefly before accepting. Special situations needed special measures. Short and tight was still better than wet and… sticky.

“Th… Thanks.”

He took it awkwardly and ducked straight into the restroom stall, locking the door.

Hurriedly stripping off the wet trousers and tossing them aside, he opened the unfamiliar girl’s uniform bag. Why she carried spare clothes was a mystery, but it seemed freshly laundered, with a faint scent of detergent.

A name tag was stuck on the bag: 2-F, Hanjo Ayame.

Seeing that name gave him a slight pause.

But what came next completely floored him—

“Hey! Why’d you give me a skirt?!”