Chapter 128: The Genius Burped

“Yukino-chan, your phone.”

Yui Yuigahama picked up the phone from the table and handed it to Yukinoshita.

Huh? Was there really a call?

Himekoji was surprised and leaned his neck out stubbornly to peek. And yes, it really was lit up, showing an incoming call.

Yukinoshita actually told the truth?

“Th-thank you.”

Her cheeks still flushed from her earlier embarrassment, Yukinoshita cleared her throat twice. Acting as if nothing happened, she calmly took the phone.

“Excuse me.”

Yukinoshita shot Himekoji a lukewarm glare.

Apart from her thighs still clamped tight, she didn’t look like someone who needed to pee badly at all.

Truly, Yukinoshita.

With no reason left to stop her, Himekoji reluctantly stepped aside. He watched her cool back retreating.

Then, only after she left the Service Club, Himekoji suddenly remembered something. He snapped his head towards the table.

Printed documents. Snacks and biscuits bought from the shop downstairs…

Everything Yukinoshita mentioned was untouched.

Combined with the phone call that actually came in…

It seemed—

Yukinoshita hadn’t lied?

If he had to nitpick, she just tricked him.

This was the final conclusion.

Himekoji felt a little disappointed, yet sighed with a strange sense of relief.

…

But come on, it was just peeing! Did she really need all these extras? Wasn’t it exhausting?

Was it really so hard to just say plainly, “My kidneys are bad, I pee a lot”?

Thinking of this, Himekoji finally made up his mind to be righteous and upfront—

“Well… I’m going to take a phone call too.”

Copying her, he whipped out his phone. Once again, Himekoji charged towards the toilet.

“Tch… just say you’ve got bad kidneys and pee a lot…” Hikigaya in the corner murmured, shaking his head.

“Akito, slow down! Careful not to trip!”

Listen to that! Yuigahama was so much better than that Dead Fish Eyes! At least she cared instead of mocked.

She might be dumb, but aside from Himekoji, she was the kindest person in this “savage-tongued club”.

Not counting Himekoji of course…

And her chest was huge!

Himekoji, sprinting out with a bursting bladder, actually had the free brainpower to give Yuigahama a mental score—

8 points!

7 points for the chest. 1 point for kindness.

Full marks being ten! So, a high score!

“Akito, don’t worry! Found early, there’s definitely still time! The hospital can help!”

Yui faltered, hesitated for a moment, then finally blurted out what had been hidden in her heart this whole time.

Himekoji, who had just reached the door, stumbled and nearly fell flat…

Kindness? This was the one-point kindness he gave her?

Crap! This kindness was downright hurtful! Himekoji didn’t need it!

Sorry, Miss Yuigahama guest! Now, the light I deliberately kept for you—it’s out! Out!

Seven points? Get lost!

…

Himekoji came out of the toilet. He knew the way well; this was his tenth trip.

He hitched up his pants, feeling refreshed.

Then, for the sixth time, he “ran into” Yukinoshita right outside the toilet door.

“Yo, Yukinoshita! Meeting you again? What a coincidence, huh!”

Himekoji waved. Yukinoshita greeted it with another lukewarm glare.

“Well? Is the signal better in the toilet? You came all this way, specially to make a call here?”

Himekoji put on an especially curious face and asked seriously.

“Hmpf.”

But Yukinoshita just gave a soft snort, then flipped her hair, walking away coolly and efficiently without bothering to reply.

Himekoji was almost pissed off!

Look at this! How come this person has zero basic manners?

Rude!

…

Some time later—

The seventh “chance meeting” outside the toilet door.

“Are you stalking me? Following me to the toilet? Trying to be my little tail?”

Yukinoshita finally lost her patience. Seeing this guy always trailing her to pee every single time, wasn’t he annoying?

What coincidence was this? She was feeling “odd” today, and Himekoji suddenly felt “odd” too?

Maybe stalking a beauty to the toilet was this Pervert-kun’s incredible fetish?

Oh, or maybe this Pervert-kun just had bad kidneys. Maybe it was like this every day. A pee every few minutes.

“Alright, alright!”

Himekoji immediately broke into a silly grin and agreed.

“Alright? Alright what?”

Yukinoshita frowned impatiently.

“Of course it’s alright to be your little tail! Come on, lift up your skirt! Let me find a home and settle down on your butt!”

Himekoji, ever the “understanding” one, stretched out his “Sexual Harassment Hand”.

He figured if he lifted Yukinoshita’s skirt to let the breeze in, her Underwear would totally dry out quickly.

I was really getting more gentle and considerate toward myself, wasn’t I?

Speaking of which, if Yukinoshita grew a tail, wouldn’t that make her a catgirl? The image of a “catified” Yukinoshita instantly popped into my mind.

Cat paws, cat ears, a cat tail… and when shy, those cat ears on her head would keep twitching uncontrollably…

Huh? Wait, how often was Yukinoshita even shy? Wasn’t it more common to see her looking super fierce?

“Rawrr~”

Wow, I could even imagine the “Catgirl Yukinoshita” sound, complete with cat ears.

And then she’d wave her cat paw while baring her fangs and flashing her claws—

“I am very fierce! The fiercest in the universe! Meow!”

I’d even thought of her line.

Huh?

But that didn’t seem right. Wasn’t this completely not fierce? On the contrary, it felt super cute! What should I do? Had an ass kicked my head again…?

Was it because “not busty” and “not fierce” sounded similar? Was that why it felt impossible for Yukinoshita like this to ever be fierce?

While thinking all this, Himekoji’s hand movement didn’t slow down one bit. Resolute and without hesitation, his hand reached straight toward Yukinoshita’s skirt.

Schrödinger’s skirt – was Yukinoshita male or female? That secret was finally going to be revealed right here!

…

“PONG!”

Oh, how familiar was that sound of a head crashing heavily into the ground…

Dizzy, head spinning, stars exploding before his eyes.

So, at this moment, Himekoji finally remembered. The intense bliss… nope, the sheer agony of being dominated by Yukinoshita’s Aikido.

Yukinoshita wasn’t cute. Yukinoshita was fierce.

That fact seemed beyond doubt at this moment.

Therefore, he needed to quickly write it down in his notebook! To avoid forgetting next time.

Damn, why couldn’t he learn his lesson?

Yukinoshita wasn’t cute.

One more time—

Yukinoshita wasn’t cute. Yukinoshita wasn’t cute at all!

…

He really didn’t want to meet Yukinoshita at the toilet entrance anymore.

He definitely didn’t want to scurry out clutching his crotch in panic, only to get mocked by Hikigaya again about his failing kidneys.

Damn it! You wanna test just how capable my kidneys are?!

If you haven’t tried it, you have no right to judge.

Isn’t that how the saying goes?

In short, Himekoji was sick of being the “Toilet Commuter”!

After racking his brain, he finally recalled something important—

The heart of the “Holy Grail”.

Yes, that so-called “Holy Grail” remote control.

Why hadn’t he thought of it sooner?

Himekoji really felt like hitting himself hard.

Damn it! If he had exchanged the Holy Grail’s magic for something, anything, besides “Toilet Commuter” earlier, wouldn’t that have solved everything?

Well, better late to the idea than never, although… huh? Actually, being this late probably still sucked…

Still, it was surely better than not thinking of it at all!

Shaking his head to stop fretting over lateness, Himekoji secretly turned his back while sitting at his desk. Stealthily, he fished out the remote control, making sure no one could see.

“Parched Lips”, “Starving Stomach”, “Drenched in Sweat”, “Genius Burping Girl”.

Which one to pick?

Himekoji hesitated. Because Yukinoshita had sprayed black tea on his face earlier, and then the damned “Permeate” attribute had activated right after, he hadn’t been able to wipe off the tea before absorbing it all into his own body…

Therefore, the Holy Grail’s magic, currently active on the user Yukinoshita, was also affecting him.

So, changing the “magic” attribute now required careful thought.

At the very least, it shouldn’t be like the earlier “Toilet Commuter” that had nearly buried him.

“Parched Lips”?

Kind of scary. He got the feeling the System might soon make those words take on a meaning beyond the literal…

Parched lips often described that, right?… Yeah, that…

Plus, choosing it meant gulping down water like crazy later. Wouldn’t Himekoji’s path inevitably lead back to the toilet again?

Pass!

“Starving Stomach”, “Drenched in Sweat”, “Genius Burping Girl”…

Choosing between these three was tough. Himekoji agonized for a long while.

Finally, he made a decision!

He chose “Genius Burping Girl”!

Think about it: he was male! So, logically, shouldn’t he be immune to this skill labeled “girl”?

Having considered this, Himekoji pushed the button without any more hesitation.

Besides, he really wanted to see Yukinoshita burp. It must be really cute… NO! Yukinoshita couldn’t possibly be cute!

Damn it, I almost slipped up again!

Luckily, I came to my senses at the very last moment.

…

One minute later.

Yukinoshita stood up, probably preparing to “take a call” again. She had an unusually large number of “calls” today.

Well, she was a very busy person. Himekoji understood completely.

Though, the posture of her tightly clamping her thighs together was still top-notch. Looking at it like this, she could easily clamp a thin piece of paper between her thighs, couldn’t she?

“I…”

Yukinoshita spoke, seemingly feeling a bit embarrassed at last.

Makes sense. After all, she’d used this excuse back and forth, over and over, so many times. She was overdue for feeling embarrassed just once.

“Got another call, Yukino-chan? Did… something happen?”

Yuigahama sounded concerned.

“Yeah, I’m… Huh?”

Mid-sentence, Yukinoshita suddenly stiffened, as if feeling something. Her body abruptly felt light. The immense pressure demanding she empty her bladder vanished in an instant.

“Hic!”

Instead, a sudden hiccup sound popped out of her mouth.

“Ah, it’s nothing.”

Yukinoshita covered her mouth lightly and awkwardly, then shook her head strangely, replying to Yuigahama like that. Also, she casually ended that so-called “call on hold.”

“Huh? Hung up? Actually hung up?”

Yuigahama screamed again and again.

Not bothering with the other’s startled reaction, Yukinoshita instead let out a breath of relief. She smoothed down her skirt and sat back on the chair properly and nicely. Her look got much more at ease than before.

“Hic!…”

The girl’s first hiccup didn’t catch anyone’s attention, but soon after, in not even ten seconds, right? it happened again.

Because of that, Yuigahama and Hikigaya both looked over in surprise.

Yukinoshita seemed a bit strange herself too, her face went red, but she quickly calmed herself down. She told herself that it was just two hiccups, not a big deal, so there was no need to worry. Comforting herself like that, the girl kept flipping through the bunko edition in her hand as if nothing was wrong.

After just a short while, Yuigahama and Hikigaya shifted their gazes away.

But then— “Hic! Hic! Hic!…” Yukinoshita hiccupped another three times in a row!

It was getting even stronger, making her shoulders start to shake without control. What’s more, with every hiccup, her body leaned forward once, way over, making others turn and look.

Hey, wasn’t she leaning so far from the hard hiccups that she might fall right off the chair?

It looked super likely!

“Yu, Yukino-chan, are you okay?” Yuigahama couldn’t sit still any longer. She jumped up fast, ran over, and gently patted Yukinoshita’s back to help her catch her breath. At the same time, she asked with worry.

“No… hic! h…” As soon as she started talking, the urge to hiccup came back strong, one right after another.

In a panic, Yukinoshita quickly raised her hand to pinch her mouth shut. That made it stop just in time.

“Pfft!” Himekoji laughed right away at Yukinoshita’s silly and funny look.

The girl was pinching her own mouth, so the top and bottom lips got pushed together by her fingers, sticking out like a “duck’s beak.”

In Himekoji’s mind, without meaning to, he gave Yukinoshita a “voice in his head”— “Not duck duck’s fault! Duck duck pinches her own mouth! Duck duck isn’t hiccuping! Hic!”

No way, so hilarious! Switching from “cat girl” to “duck girl,” this showed that Yukinoshita’s ability to fit any role was really great! She’d be a super good coser.

“Yukinoshita, are you trying to act cute on purpose? That kind of pouting… actually, a whole oil bottle could hang from that pout…” From the corner by the wall, a bit dark and low woman’s voice slowly started. It was Hikigaya.

“Holy crap! I didn’t respect her before, I thought she’d just bully… pah, I thought she’d just tease me? Who knew that even against Yukinoshita, this Dead Fish Eyes wasn’t scared at all! So brave, so tough! How about inviting her to join my group to fight against Yukinoshita?”

In Himekoji’s mind, a thought of “getting her to switch sides” popped up. If this woman could join my team, she’d become a strong member for sure. Definitely worth it!

[Ding!] While Himekoji was off thinking about all this nonsense, the system’s chime sound suddenly rang out without any warning.

…