Chapter 20: Damn Your Grandma’s Banana!

Yang Mi shook her head and smiled lightly. “You don’t need to promise me anything. It was all my choice, Tang Chen. Honestly, I can tell you’ve really changed—you’ve become more overbearing. A man like you won’t just belong to one woman. I only hope that no matter what happens, you won’t forget about me.”

Tang Chen was moved by this young woman. He held her tightly and then kissed her on the forehead, saying softly, “Don’t worry, Yang Mi. Even though I, Tang Chen, might be a bit shameless at times, you’ll always be my first woman.”

Yang Mi smiled contentedly, nestling her head against Tang Chen’s chest like a little bird. Tang Chen felt a fire surge in his lower belly again. He grabbed her small hand and murmured, “It’s still early. Let’s go again.”

Yang Mi didn’t speak. Instead, she reached her hand toward the lower part of Tang Chen’s body. Silence spoke louder than words.

Early the next morning, Tang Chen woke up feeling miserable. He really wanted to stay in bed with Yang Mi all day, but they were still students and had to go to school.

Yang Mi had already gotten up early. She had put on her clothes and tied up her hair. After a night of love, she shed her girlish innocence and gained a more alluring and sexy charm. This new Yang Mi made Tang Chen feel restless and eager again, but just as he was about to do something, she pushed him away.

Yang Mi gave him a look and said, “No more. I’m still sore.”

“Alright,” Tang Chen said helplessly, but there was nothing he could do. After all, this was his first time, and after just one session, his little brother seemed uncontrollable. He got dressed and climbed out of bed, saying to Yang Mi, “Yang Mi, let’s go to school together.”

Yang Mi smiled and shook her head. “No need. I have to go home for a bit. My mom called me early this morning and asked me to come home. She said there’s something going on. I’ve already asked my teacher for half a day off.”

Tang Chen said, “Oh, I see. Do you want me to go back with you?”

Yang Mi held his arm and said, “No need. You’d better go to school properly. I’ll be at school this afternoon.”

“Okay,” Tang Chen didn’t say anything more. He walked out of the hotel side by side with Yang Mi, and the two parted ways at a crossroads. Tang Chen then spoke to the System in his mind, “Hey System, did I complete my last mission or not?”

Truth be told, Tang Chen hadn’t forgotten about his last mission. Back on Heiyan, a bunch of reckless rich idiots had challenged him, so he made a bet with them, saying he would make the book “My Uncle Bodyguard” dominate all the charts for three consecutive months. At the time, the System had also issued him a mission: if he succeeded, he would be rewarded with a pair of high-quality rich-and-handsome underpants.

The System let out an awkward “uh” and then said, “Dear Host, this System cannot determine whether you succeeded or failed in this mission.”

Tang Chen’s mouth twitched. “What do you mean? Is there a bug?”

System: “Dear Host, I’ll let you see for yourself.” As soon as it finished speaking, Tang Chen felt a loud boom in his head, and then a computer screen appeared in his mind. Tang Chen was surprised to find that it was the homepage of Heiyan.

“System, what the hell is this?” Tang Chen was shocked. This System was way too awesome—it actually let him see the Heiyan page directly in his mind.

The System explained, “Dear Host, this System has connected your brainwaves to your computer. That means you can now control the computer and browse pages in your mind. Take a look at the current situation yourself.”

While Tang Chen was still marveling at this, the scene in his mind switched to the page for Zhao Xiaoxiao’s book. The System had indeed followed his instructions, brushing a thousand Crowns and a thousand Diamonds every day. His book review section was now incredibly popular every day, filled with visitors praising the godly book and the rich fan. Then the scene switched again to the Heiyan charts. Just as Tang Chen had expected, the book had already taken first place on every chart on Heiyan, holding the top spot steadily. It had become a legend!

Tang Chen nodded with satisfaction and said excitedly, “System, since I’ve done what I set out to do, that means I completed the mission. Why do you say you can’t tell if I succeeded or not?”

The System slowly explained, “Theoretically, you succeeded. But don’t forget, the mission this System gave you was to maintain it for three months. It’s only been two days so far. You haven’t completed the mission yet.”

Tang Chen laughed it off. “What’s the big deal? Just keep pushing it up like this. Three months is just a matter of time.”

System: “But dear Host, what you don’t know is that your opponents have already given up on this mission voluntarily. So there’s no need to continue this task.”

Tang Chen hadn’t expected those idiot rich guys to give up. Feeling bored, he said, “They gave up so fast? How lame. Aren’t they rich? Why aren’t they competing with me anymore?”

The System was somewhat speechless and said disdainfully, “Dear Host, this System must remind you that showing off too much is not right. Just think about it—you have this System’s unlimited balance backing you up, spending a million a day like it’s nothing. But those guys are spending their own hard-earned money. Do you really think they can compete with you?”

Tang Chen chuckled and said with an innocent look, “Who told those idiots to challenge me? Anyway, forget about that. So you’re saying I won’t get the reward for this mission?”

The System said, “Yes. Dear Host, if one side terminates the mission issued by this System, then the mission will no longer be valid.”

Tang Chen said, “Oh,” and sighed. “These little losers are such trash. They didn’t even let me feel the excitement. A bunch of useless people. I might as well go to school.”

The System remained silent. It was starting to feel that the Host was becoming more and more shameless.

What Tang Chen didn’t know was that his lavish spending had already crushed the morale of the rich fans behind the top authors. In the secret big shot group, the person who had first vowed to compete with Tang Chen until the end had now permanently grayed out. One rich fan posted, “We’ve been defeated. This time we lost completely. So many of us couldn’t beat just one person. I won’t appear on Heiyan anymore. I’m leaving the group.”

“Me too. I’m tired.” Just like that, one led to another, and in a short time, dozens of rich fans had left the group. The same thing happened in the groups of all the top authors on Heiyan.

Tang Chen returned to school and sat down at his desk under the awed gazes of the other students. He lay his head down to sleep, though he wasn’t really asleep. Instead, he asked the System in his mind, “System, I feel like my strength is still a bit weak. After all, the more people I hit, the more enemies I make. If some enemy hires someone to attack me or something, just slapping faces probably won’t be enough to protect myself.”

System: “Dear Host, this System is very satisfied with you. Unlike others who get a little power and become arrogant, you haven’t. This System appreciates that.”

Tang Chen had a few black lines on his forehead. “Stop nagging. Is there any way for me to become more awesome? Like being invulnerable to knives and guns, or impossible to kill?”

The System let out a speechless “uh” and then said, “Dear Host, could you please stop daydreaming? Invulnerable to knives and guns and impossible to kill? Can you be more realistic? Even in novels, that’s too far-fetched.”

Tang Chen’s mouth twitched. This damn System was talking back to him again. Just as he was about to curse, the System mysteriously said, “However, Host, this System can offer you an Enhancement Potion. This potion can help improve your physique. Although it won’t make you impossible to kill, wounds from ordinary knives and guns will heal quickly.”

Tang Chen became interested and said excitedly, “That awesome? Damn, there must be conditions, right?” His excitement was only temporary; Tang Chen didn’t believe this System would just give him such a good thing for nothing.

The System said, “Of course. To obtain this Enhancement Potion, you must complete a High-level Mission issued by this System.”

Tang Chen foolishly asked, “System, do these missions have high-level and low-level distinctions?”

The System scoffed disdainfully and said, “Dear Host, could you please use your brain? Stop asking such stupid questions, okay? Missions are divided into three levels: Low-level, High-level, and Ultimate-level. Depending on the Host’s own strength and the real situation, different missions will be issued. The ones you’re completing now are all Low-level Missions, like face-slapping and showing off.”

Tang Chen’s mouth twitched. This System’s words were so irritating. He continued, “Let me ask timidly, are these High-level Missions and that Ultimate-level Mission very difficult?”

System: “Of course. To put it this way: if the Low-level Missions you’re completing now are just about showing off and slapping faces, then High-level Missions might require you to rescue hostages, capture terrorists, defuse bombs, and so on. As for the Ultimate-level Missions, let me put it this way: in the scope of Ultimate-level Missions, stopping a volcanic eruption is considered a small task.”

Tang Chen was completely stunned and stammered, “What did you say? Damn, capturing terrorists, rescuing hostages, and even stopping a volcanic eruption? System, are you messing with me? You’re definitely messing with me! Forget whether such situations would even happen, even if they did, you shouldn’t send me! What about helping me become the ultimate high-quality rich and handsome guy? What does that have to do with becoming high-quality rich and handsome?”

System: “To be precise, it has nothing to do with that at all. But to sound cool, this System will say: with great power comes great responsibility. You get it.”

Damn your grandma’s banana! Screw your grandpa! Damn System, come out here! I’m going to kill you!

Just as Tang Chen was cursing the System in his mind, a loud shout came from outside the door: “Tang Chen, you jerk, come out here!”