Chapter 65: A Lucky Coincidence

Harmonious marital life could relieve stress, relax the mind, and to some extent even cure hiccups and farting. For example, Qin Wan’er successfully stopped the production and release of waste gas. The main reason was that Liu Liwa tried several times to block the “exhaust vent,” which frightened Qin Wan’er so much that she held her farts back.

In the end, Liu Liwa did not witness the spectacular sight of a chrysanthemum turning into a sunflower. Besides, he wasn’t particularly fond of chrysanthemums anyway—it’s better to be normal.

After the first fierce battle ended, the little loli returned. Qin Wan’er wrapped herself entirely in the blanket, while Liu Liwa was fully dressed. Although the little girl was naive, the scene still looked quite strange to her.

The little girl waited for a while and noticed that Qin Wan’er was no longer producing gas bombs. Only then did she feel relieved enough to approach and lift the blanket. She proudly showed a folded handkerchief doll in her hand and said, “Sister Wan’er, look! Doesn’t this look like Brother Liu Liwa?”

Liu Liwa was taken aback. He stared at the handkerchief in her hand—it had limbs and resembled a human figure, but upon closer inspection, it was clearly a folded “Gong Wuyuan.” Liu Liwa grew furious and shouted, “You’re the Gong Wuyuan! Your whole family are Gong Wuyuan!”

Liu Liwa snorted and turned to leave. After all, Qin Wan’er was still undressed and lying on his bed. If the little loli found out, Qin Wan’er would be too embarrassed. Moreover, she couldn’t get up for a while—not because Liu Liwa was particularly impressive, but because her clothes were stained with feces. She had discarded all her lower garments, inside and out, and the other clothes were temporarily provided by Intoxication Pavilion. That was the real reason she was too ashamed to face anyone.

Outside, it was already dark. The front of Intoxication Pavilion ought to be bustling, so Liu Liwa decided to borrow a couple of outfits for Qin Wan’er. As soon as he opened the door, he saw a dark figure lurking outside. He quickly closed the door and peered through the crack. It was pitch black outside; the busy young masters and misses had finally been released after a day’s work, thanks to the slave owner’s mercy. Normally, they wouldn’t linger near Liu Liwa’s door. Who could this be? Could it be someone looking for trouble, planning a sneak attack?

Liu Liwa cautiously picked up the fire hook used for the stove, ready to strike with thunderous force. However, he noticed that the person didn’t seem intent on breaking in but was instead pacing near the base of the outer wall. That area was shaded, making it impossible to see the person’s face—only a rough outline. It appeared as though they were searching for something.

After a moment, the person crouched down, seemingly digging for something? Liu Liwa felt a chill. Could it be one of the girls hiding her private savings? Didn’t ancient people often give themselves away by proclaiming their innocence?

But Liu Liwa was soon disappointed because the person quickly stood up, holding something in their hand. It seemed they weren’t burying something but retrieving it. The person was extremely cautious, even trembling slightly as they wobbled into the moonlight. The first thing Liu Liwa saw was the object in their hand—it was crooked, about the length of a finger, and turned out to be an earthworm!

The moonlight illuminated the person’s face like a spotlight on a star. The one digging for earthworms in the dark at the wall was actually Shen Zuijin!

The little earthworm struggled frantically in her hand, and she herself seemed frightened, forcing herself to endure it. Liu Liwa almost burst out laughing. So this sister actually believed his nonsense and was secretly catching bugs to treat her gynecological issues. Of course, whether she was doing it for the treatment or to feel the sensation of the worm crawling was known only to her.

Shen Zuijin examined the earthworm carefully under the moonlight, confirmed it was the right one, looked around to ensure no one was watching, and then left with relief.

Liu Liwa also stepped outside shortly after. What puzzled him was that if Shen Zuijin came to catch earthworms, it meant his previous prank had actually worked. But he had never heard of any folk remedy using earthworms to treat gynecological diseases. This was no joke—if anything happened to Shen Zuijin, like an unexpected pregnancy resulting in a monster with a human head and worm body, he couldn’t take responsibility.

To be safe, Liu Liwa lit his fire starter and crouched by the wall to search carefully, recalling the earlier situation. He remembered that the area near the wall was damp, often used by people for relieving themselves. Disgusted, Liu Liwa hadn’t dug in the soil back then but had instead plucked the earthworm from a small white-flowered plant.

That small white-flowered plant was still there. Perhaps due to Shen Zuijin’s digging, some pollen had scattered around, which reminded Liu Liwa. Besides the damp soil and earthworms, the only other thing was this small white-flowered plant. Liu Liwa thought hard. Although he had no knowledge of traditional Chinese medicine or gynecological diseases, Yufeng, who was fond of humanities and social sciences, had some exposure to this area. He recalled once helping her tidy her magazines and coming across this white-flowered plant. It should be called “She Chuang Zi”—yes, that was it! It was a primary herb for treating gynecological diseases and also had the effect of warming the kidneys and boosting virility. It worked for both men and women, young and old!

What a lucky coincidence. Liu Liwa breathed a sigh of relief. He remembered that Yufeng often used dried She Chuang Zi along with alum to make a decoction, which she used during baths, probably as a cleanser. He needed to find an opportunity to tell Shen Zuijin about this method to avoid unnecessary trouble.

Liu Liwa went to the front hall, but instead of the expected lively scene, it was unusually quiet. Only Miss Yanhong was leaning against the door, hoping last night’s patron would return to admire her stunning legs and model-like figure. Unfortunately, since Wen Jun said he would come again tomorrow, the other guests had voluntarily chosen to stay away. Otherwise, they would have to be cleared out early again tomorrow. Those who had similar overnight experiences knew that the early morning hours were the most exciting.

Having no one around was good—it meant they could rest their voices. Telling stories every day was exhausting.

When Miss Yanhong saw Liu Liwa, she immediately beamed and said, “Oh, Brother Xiaoqi, thank you so much for yesterday.”

Liu Liwa smiled and shook his head, mainly observing Miss Yanhong’s demeanor. This time, her enthusiasm was only superficial, without any tangible reward. Trying to get money from a pleasure house girl was harder than getting a refund from a traffic cop. Liu Liwa chuckled and said, “It’s nothing. We all make a living at Intoxication Pavilion; helping each other is natural. In fact, I have a favor to ask you now.”

“I have no silver!” Miss Yanhong immediately put away her smile, her face full of wariness.

Liu Liwa smiled bitterly. There was no need to be so obvious. “Sister Yanhong, don’t misunderstand. I just want to borrow a clean set of clothes from you.”

Hearing that it wasn’t about money, Miss Yanhong relaxed at once. She had genuinely worried that Liu Liwa, after helping her once, would endlessly extort her—a common trick among pleasure house girls, though there were certainly despicable men who did such things.

As long as it wasn’t about money, things were easy. Without another word, Yanhong went back to her room and brought out a clean, barely worn dress. She shoved it into Liu Liwa’s arms and said, “No need to talk about borrowing. Brother Xiaoqi helped me; consider this dress a gift from me.”

Liu Liwa was speechless. What use was giving it to him? He didn’t have a fetish, and it felt like some kind of love token. He held the dress up against himself. Yanhong was about the same height as him, nearly half a head taller than Qin Wan’er. The top part would be fine, but the hem would definitely drag on the ground if Qin Wan’er wore it. To avoid raising suspicions, Liu Liwa had a sudden idea. Thankfully, in this era, women’s dresses were made of silk and brocade, not synthetic materials. He measured the length, marked the spot, and—rip!—tore off a strip from the hem. The dress instantly became three inches shorter…

Watching from the side, Yanhong’s eyes lit up. She snatched the silk dress and held it against herself. With her height, it now revealed a section of her calves. Inspired, Yanhong started tearing as well. After a series of ripping sounds, the first miniskirt in human history was born!