Chapter 392: Why? He Should Like Nanami
Chapter 392: Why? He Should Like Nanami
“Akito, liar…”
“…”
Faced with such a Mashiro, Himekoji could only stay silent.
At this moment, he could not say anything, he could not say anything.
All he could say were lies.
Though the small room was crowded with four people, it was strangely quiet and scary, and no one spoke again; saying anything in such a situation would have felt out of place and awkward.
The silence fermented in the air, slowly turning heavy.
“Sigh.”
Unable to bear the atmosphere, Hiratsuka-sensei could not stay any longer.
The Female Teacher shook her head and left the study, then walked to the balcony where she smoked sadly while feeling the night wind.
With the issues of the young generation, she as the adult was too busy worrying about too many things, especially in matters of love; as a long-time single woman, she seemed even less qualified to give advice.
After Hiratsuka-sensei left, only Iida Ayano, Himekoji, and Mashiro remained in the study.
The editor looked at Mashiro and then at Himekoji, her gaze moving back and forth between them several times; she wanted to break the mood, but she could not find the right thing to say to start a conversation.
But leaving things like this was no good either.
Seeing Mashiro looking close to tears, Miss Iida also felt like crying herself.
“Um… Mashiro, so, do you want to stay at a hotel with me for now?”
Ayano forced herself to speak out in such an atmosphere.
“Akito can decide for me…”
But the reply was exactly the same as before.
Unexpectedly, even now, Mashiro still planned to listen to Himekoji.
Was it because she had become used to it?
All things were decided for her by Himekoji.
Though talking to Iida Ayano, Mashiro did not look at the editor; Mashiro stared at Himekoji without blinking, just as she always had from the start—watching Himekoji, only watching Himekoji.
Those reddish eyes were like fragile, clear crystal, beautiful and unreal to the point of being hard to believe; the thin mist and haze over them were dreamlike, pretty enough to break hearts and take breath away.
It was this look that gave Himekoji mountains of pressure and guilt.
It was mixed with self-blame, shame, pain, or some other feelings.
All jumbled together, it was as if a chemistry reaction happened, “bang,” at some point, it erupted violently and exploded completely.
“D-decide by yourself!”
Caught up in that feeling, his mind hot, he blurted out these words.
One could hear the shaking that he tried hard to hide but could not.
“I want Akito to decide for me.”
But Mashiro still held on stubbornly, foolishly.
Only, the girl’s tone had crying in it, something Himekoji had never heard before.
In that instant, his heart seemed to shatter.
Extreme self-blame, extreme shame, extreme pain, and guilt so huge it felt like it would swallow Himekoji whole.
Some angry feeling raced through his whole body, making him stiff and his lips tremble nonstop.
It was clearly his own fault, clearly he was wrong, Himekoji knew it well; but the moment his feelings burst out, he took it out on Mashiro.
He lashed out at Mashiro, who least deserved it.
“Decide for you? Why should I decide for you? Why would I decide for you? What right do I have to decide for you! Take care of your own matters yourself!”
Himekoji shouted angrily.
He yelled at the tearful Mashiro.
The moment the words left his mouth, Himekoji already regretted it, but it was too late.
Spoken words could not be taken back—that was certain—so he could only hate himself afterward for making it so.
Himekoji, you really are no good!
Hiratsuka-sensei was exactly right in her scolding.
Himekoji hated himself like this; hurting others felt far worse than hurting himself.
“Akito is so mean…”
Mashiro shrank back in fear, like a small animal that saw its enemy, eyes red and backing away scared.
“…”
Standing nearby, Iida Ayano felt very unhappy with Himekoji’s attitude; she wanted to say something but for a moment did not know what.
Actually, deep down, Iida Ayano somewhat agreed with Himekoji’s words.
Because for Mashiro now, the most valuable growth was learning independence and making her own choices, right?
A person with no thoughts of their own could not find happiness.
She agreed with Himekoji, but disliked the tone he used.
Taking a deep breath, Iida Ayano finally decided to smooth things over for Himekoji.
The editor looked at Mashiro who was alone by the door, gathered her whole body’s gentleness, and asked softly—
“Mashiro, what do you personally think? Do you want to move to a hotel for a while?”
“I…”
Even after Himekoji yelled like that just now, even after Himekoji hurt her, when editor Ayano asked, Mashiro still looked at Himekoji first out of habit.
The trust built over time, the habit of relying on him, was deeply rooted.
Himekoji held back from answering Mashiro.
He could not lift his head, could not lift it, afraid that if he did, Mashiro would see his super lame face now.
“Akito…”
The moment Mashiro called Himekoji’s name, Iida Ayano cut her off.
“Mashiro, I’m asking for your own thoughts; there are many things others cannot decide for you.”
“Akito… is not someone else…”
As if fighting it, Mashiro pushed out a voice so sharp it cracked midway.
Because of this, Himekoji felt his heart tremble again.
He wanted to shout everything to keep Mashiro.
Overzealous fans, whether stalkers, sneaky picture-takers, or followers—if any dared disturb Mashiro’s normal life even a little, he would beat them until they didn’t dare.
Just taking care of Mashiro was a small thing he felt confident to do well, as practice makes perfect, right?
But…
What about Nanami?
He liked Nanami.
He should like Nanami!
Why did his feelings shake endlessly whenever it involved Mashiro?
That was why, since a few days ago, he avoided Mashiro, hid from Mashiro, feared Mashiro.
And now he even wanted to push Mashiro away.
Everything Hiratsuka-sensei said earlier hit Himekoji’s weak spots perfectly.
Did he really think of Mashiro as a bother?
A bother that got in the way of him and Nanami getting closer?
No!
Not like this! Not like this!
It clearly shouldn’t be like this!
Mashiro was not a bother.
Mashiro was just Mashiro.
…
…