Chapter 246: The Pantsu Collector
Chapter 246: The Pantsu Collector
Where… was this?
Who… was I?
What… should I be doing?
A person’s life should indeed begin with contemplation—
Where was this?
This was underneath Nanami’s skirt.
Who was I?
I was Himekoji, a pervert by hobby… well, a pervert forced by the System.
What should I be doing?
[Ding!]
[Please choose!]
[A: Spit onto Nanami’s pantsu.]
[B: Suck up the “mouth” of drool from Nanami’s pantsu.]
Huh?
Wait a minute!
I didn’t ask for you to answer!
The System actually had to steal the scene again right now!
Stealing focus was one thing – Himekoji was used to that anyway – but couldn’t you also pay attention to your lines while you were at it?
The choices this time were way too…
Spit?
What about manners?
We’re supposed to be civilized!
Also, what was up with option B… “Suck up the mouth of drool from Nanami’s pantsu”?
Would there even be drool on Nanami’s pantsu?
It’s not a mouth!
[Ding!]
[Correction—]
[“Mouth” here is a measure word.]
A measure word?
Himekoji froze for a second, then instantly got it, feeling exasperated.
Geez, why didn’t you just say it was a verb!
He finally understood what the System meant.
“Kou” as a measure word… that meant…
The System wanted him to suck one mouthful of… um…”water” from Nanami’s pantsu?
Problem was, pantsu didn’t have water. The only place water could come from was the area the pantsu was covering… ahem!
Complete nonsense!
Doing that would be absolutely disastrous!
Definitely too obscene for publication!
Besides, he definitely didn’t possess skills that good either…
“AAAAA!”
Himekoji had no choice.
It was pretty uncouth, spitting on someone’s… this part…
“Forgive me, Aoyama,” Himekoji apologized silently in his heart.
Then, deep breath, gather focus, power from the core—
“Ptui!”
[Ding!]
[Increase Volume! Tongue Unleashed like Spring Thunder!]
Just to get it done, Himekoji practically shouted it with all his might.
Coupled with the System “thoughtfully” giving him a push, it led to this bizarre scene—
It sounded like something utterly strange exploded with a boom, right beneath Nanami’s skirt…
Sure, the “sound was impressive,” but actually, Himekoji had only managed to squeeze out the tiniest flecks of spit.
As the saying goes, thunder was loud, but the raindrops were small.
“Huh?”
However, the next moment, Himekoji suddenly realized something wasn’t right.
This “rain”…it sort of, kind of, maybe… wouldn’t stop!
What shot out of his mouth wasn’t flecks of spit at all – it was more like pouring rain!
Whoa, this was nothing like what he imagined!
Like a water jet, it blasted onto her pantsu and splashed everywhere.
Under the skirt, Himekoji’s face was instantly soaked…
“What the heck?!”
No need to think twice – it definitely had to be the System messing with him!
Infuriated, Himekoji mentally barked at that bastard.
[Ding!]
[Please review the question carefully.]
[We already fairly, justly, and openly reminded you: “Kou” is a measure word.]
“And so what? Of course I knew that! But what does that have to do with me spitting?! Is that your excuse for breaking the rules?”
[Spit a “mouth’s worth” of water.]
Seeing those quotation marks, Himekoji was instantly lost for words.
“…”
His whole face was covered in metaphorical black lines.
Barked the heck, he had thought the System’s reminder was only about Option B…
He got careless!
As expected of a Chinese OS interface; the Chinese language was truly profound!
Himekoji’s clothes.
But seriously, that “bite” of yours was way too much!
…
“Ah!”
Early in the morning, Aoyama Nanami experienced an extraordinary start to her day, chilled to the core.
Before Nanami could even react, Himekoji swiftly crawled out from under her skirt.
“Good morning.”
He managed a weak smile, offering an overly polite greeting to the girl whose face was a mixture of shock, disbelief, and pure fury.
As the saying goes, you don’t hit a smiling person, right?
“I-I’ll chop you up!”
The wet, icy coldness below only burned hotter in the rage fueling her head.
Himekoji had soaked her underwear; how could she possibly control the urge to hit him?
No, mere hitting wouldn’t satisfy her anger now! She wanted blood!
She sprang up from the bed edge where she’d been sitting, forming her hand into a blade-like chop.
This was definitely no joke!
Her presence was terrifying!
Sadly, the water dripping “plip-plop” down her legs and onto the floor ruined that fierce feeling.
Wet, damp– such words instantly turned any woman’s state suggestive, even sensual.
Himekoji, having fallen to the floor, watched this scene with awkward, complex feelings.
He opened his mouth, speechless.
Therefore, it was Nanami’s turn to speak—
“Just… drop dead!”
Aoyama Nanami lifted her “blade” and swung it down.
Pervert, get cut in half!
…
Uh-oh, aiming for the back of the neck again!
Huh, why did he think ‘again’?
Darn it, he remembered!
No wonder he couldn’t recall how he fell asleep last night when he woke up.
It turned out…
Nanami had double-tapped him last night!
But after knocking out Hiratsuka-sensei, why did she clobber him too?
Did she get hooked on clobbering?
Or did something else happen later?
That tiny fragment of memory seemed to have vanished into thin air.
He couldn’t remember no matter how hard he tried; the harder he thought, the worse the headache got.
…
No, this really wasn’t the time for such thoughts!
Nanami’s vicious chop was about to land on him again!
The air swished from her palm strike; the back of his neck throbbed faintly.
It proved this spot had already suffered heavy damage last night.
What a terrifying woman!
Himekoji ducked his neck, bracing for the impact.
Listen carefully—
Don’t underestimate a Pervert’s resilience!
This is my proudest skill, honed through countless trials!
Getting knocked out last night was just a fluke! It won’t happen a second time!
…
THUD!
A body fell stiffly.
Knocked out cold…
But not Himekoji. It was Nanami.
Her butt had barely left the bed before it immediately landed back on it.
Eyes open, eyes shut – she was on the bed.
How nice.
…
The expected blow never came.
Himekoji, hugging his head and ducking, dared a peep upwards.
Curious about what had happened.
The result was unexpected—
It was her!
It was actually Hiratsuka-sensei!
Appearing at Himekoji’s direst moment, offering rescue and aid.
Wrapped in a bedsheet, the female teacher, at that instant, seemed like an unparalleled Hero. With one swift strike, she cut down the violent Nanami right onto the bed.
Hiratsuka-sensei clapped her hands lightly, acting like nothing had happened.
Knocking out her own student felt as natural to her as eating or drinking… she showed zero guilt.
“Get off the floor already. Look at how pathetic you are.”
Mission accomplished, the teacher turned to Himekoji, curled up on the floor like prey, clicking her tongue in disdain. “Tsk, tsk, tsk.”
“Sensei, uh… you’re awake…”
Thankfully, Himekoji had thick skin. Words like these barely scratched him. He patted his pants and stood up.
“Hmm.”
At the mention, Hiratsuka Shizuka’s aged face flushed red.
“Caused you trouble yesterday. Got too drunk.”
“No, no trouble at all!”
So you did know it was trouble!
He grinned to brush it off, but inside, he felt completely different.
Himekoji swore that if the female teacher got drunk again next time… Wait, no next time! Students and teachers drinking together was just unreasonable to begin with!
“Oh, right, did anything strange happen after I got drunk?”
Hiratsuka-sensei actually had the nerve to ask that.
“You don’t remember?”
“Asking someone drunk to remember what happened after they drank is a bit unreasonable, Himekoji-kun.”
She deliberately emphasized the “kun,” acting like a teacher again at this moment.
It wasn’t like she was the only one who’d been a teacher? I was one too yesterday!
Himekoji didn’t care for her attitude.
“Nothing happened,” he answered, choosing the most appropriate reply.
Better that she didn’t remember; it meant no awkwardness for anyone.
…
But, did she really not remember anything?
Himekoji frowned, puzzled.
“Sorry for troubling you,” Hiratsuka-sensei had just said, using “you” as in plural (“you guys”).
If she remembered nothing after getting drunk, her memory should have stopped at yesterday when they ate ramen together.
That meant she should have been surprised to find Nanami suddenly in the room this morning.
Yet, she wasn’t.
Plus, Himekoji noticed the technique the female teacher had just used to knock Nanami out – a chop to the back of her neck – was identical to what Nanami used on her last night…
Himekoji even suspected this was Hiratsuka-sensei’s revenge on Nanami.
…
“Go buy underwear.”
Just as Himekoji was deep in thought, the female teacher’s voice suddenly came from beside him, interrupting him.
“Huh? Buy underwear?”
“Yes.”
“What’s underwear for?”
Himekoji was momentarily confused.
“For Nanami to change into, obviously. Wouldn’t you feel uncomfortable wearing damp underwear? Also, damp conditions breed bacteria; it’s unsanitary.”
“Oh! Right!”
He’d been so caught up about earlier events, he’d almost forgotten this detail.
“…But, wouldn’t it be more appropriate for you to go buy it for Aoyama?”
Himekoji suggested cautiously in a slightly hesitant tone.
“When I say go, you go. No more arguments!”
The female teacher, sobered up, had indeed reverted to her original self: bossy, violent, and utterly unreasonable.
Seeing this, he suddenly felt a bit nostalgic for last night’s drunk, “idiotic” version of her.
…
Himekoji accepted the task without protest.
After all, he was the one who got Nanami’s underwear wet; he did have a responsibility and couldn’t just stand by.
“Wait, before you leave, wipe that pee off your forehead.”
Just as Himekoji turned to go, the female teacher suddenly called him back, tossing him a dry towel.
“Huh? Pee?”
Oh right, his face was still wet.
But that wasn’t pee!
Maybe to prove the point, Himekoji acted impulsively. He stuck his tongue out and lightly licked… well… licked the damp spot near his mouth.
“See? I dared to lick it. Proof it’s not pee, right?”
Hiratsuka-sensei watched, dumbfounded.
“As a pervert, Himekoji-kun’s hobbies really are unique,” said the teacher with a strange expression, giving him a thumbs-up gesture as if admitting defeat.
“…”
Himekoji was speechless.
Did Hiratsuka-sensei really think Nanami had wet herself?
“No! That… uh… actually…”
He tried to explain on Nanami’s behalf, only to find helplessly—
He really couldn’t find a way to explain this clearly!
“Actually what?”
“Nothing.”
Himekoji gave up.
Nanami, you’ll just have to bear this misunderstanding.
At least only Hiratsuka-sensei thinks this, and she won’t laugh at you.
Neither will I, of course.
…
Enduring the shop clerk’s weird stares, Himekoji reluctantly purchased the underwear.
Mission completed.
Returning to the hotel room, he was surprised to find that Nanami, who had been unconscious earlier, was awake.
She was chatting and laughing with Hiratsuka-sensei.
Naturally, the talking and laughter stopped abruptly the moment Himekoji entered.
There was another small detail he noticed—
Nanami sat very upright, her hand tightly pressing down her skirt.
Looks like she’s taken off that light green cotton underwear?
Unable to help himself, he stared a little longer to confirm.
“Where are you looking?!” Nanami glared at him, as expected.
“Uh, nowhere… Um, well… I bought the underwear,” stammered Himekoji, guilty, as he changed the subject.
“Give it here.”
Nanami held out her hand coldly.
Himekoji walked over and handed it to her.
At the same time, his eyes darted subtly but quickly around the room.
Himekoji was searching for the underwear Nanami had taken off.
Don’t get the wrong idea, it wasn’t some weird fetish…
It was just that the System had issued another ridiculously perverted task on his way back.
It might sound casual, but this task’s difficulty was extraordinary— harder than any he’d encountered before!
[Collect seven pairs Nanami has taken off— wet, and each a different color. / Deadline: One week. / Reward: Ownership of all Nanami’s underwear. / Penalty: Permanent Damp Underwear.]
…
How about that? Pretty tough task, right?
It was ridiculously tough!
Seven pairs in one week…
That averages one pair per day!
Moreover, while efficiently collecting Nanami’s underwear, you’d also have to hope the color she wore each day wasn’t a repeat!
Plus, they all had to be wet…
Was this task even possible?!
Well, he’d just do his best and leave it to fate!
And if he failed…
Then he just wouldn’t wear underwear ever again!
Who cared?
Success would definitely be best, though.
…
Seeing she’d taken the new underwear from him, Himekoji quickly offered to step out,
“Okay, I’ll go wash my face in the bathroom. Call me when… uh… when you have privacy and I’ll come back out.”
“Bathroom? Wait!”
Nanami seemed to remember something, suddenly speaking up urgently to stop him.
But he moved too fast, efficiently darting inside before she could finish.
“PONG!” Himekoji swiftly closed the bathroom door.
…
…