Chapter 130: Yukinoshita Called, Yukinoshita Called, After Yukinoshita Called…

Whoa! I just wondered if something should happen, and then it did right away?

But… playing music with hiccups… Really? Are we sure this isn’t a joke?

What kind of awful taste is this?

Sigh, what can I say? This naughty System is impossible to deal with.

Himekoji shook his head and sighed repeatedly, looking totally helpless. Yet, at the same time, he rubbed his hands together, clearly eager to start.

Inside the classroom, three different hiccups competed to be the loudest.

Between the hiccups, there were verbal clashes, a war of words without real violence.

It was rare for Yukinoshita to argue seriously with Hikigaya. In Himekoji’s opinion, sharp words were essentially Yukinoshita’s signature skill, so she should be way ahead.

But actually, that wasn’t the case. Yukinoshita and Hikigaya were dead even, perfectly matched.

Seriously, I almost forgot. Lonely people might be bad at talking normally, but they’re super good at sarcasm. Actually, sarcasm was probably the second biggest function of Hikigaya’s mouth, right after eating and drinking.

Wait, maybe the third biggest? Like, kissing or whatever…

No way! Who would ever want to kiss those dead fish eyes?

Himekoji suddenly felt he was being a bit strange. Weird thoughts were popping into his head again.

Forget it. Anyway, unexpectedly, Hikigaya’s mouth was really sharp.

……

If it hadn’t been for those non-stop hiccup interruptions, this wordless war would have felt a lot more serious and intense. Instead, thanks to the hiccups, everything just turned funny and ridiculous.

Okay then—

He would put an end to this funny ridiculousness himself!

Himekoji stood up. With a flick of his wrist, he magically pulled a conductor’s baton from behind his back.

[Hiccup Conductor’s Baton: Point it at someone, and they hiccup! Control the frequency and rhythm of their hiccups by how fast or hard you swing it. Go for it, Maestro!]

Himekoji took a deep breath. Then, head held high and chest out, he strode confidently to the very front and center of the classroom.

“No fighting, no fighting. The benefits… hic… the benefits of hiccups, anybody? Whoever gets it right gets to hiccup first!”

“Hic!”

Yukinoshita gave Himekoji a cold glance. Just for a second. Then she looked away, refocusing all her attention on her great mission: hiccupping and delivering sharp wit.

“Hic! Hic!”

Hikigaya didn’t even spare Himekoji a single glance. He was concentrating hard, battling on with his words.

Only Yuigahama, stuck between the two and feeling completely lost, looked at Himekoji pleadingly for help.

“Ak-Aki… hic! …Akito, do something… hic!”

Whoa! Please don’t do that!

Facing me with such “silly” hiccups… if your chest shakes too violently, I might actually get dizzy!

Also, no need to tell me, I’m already thinking of something. No, I’ve already got it.

His plan was—

Music!

Music definitely has the power to turn enemies into friends.

It was time to make Yukinoshita and Hikigaya stop their war of words and join his band!

See, they have such a natural talent for hiccupping. Not using this gift properly for good would be such a waste of the special skill Heaven gave them.

Himekoji had never been a conductor before. Naturally, he had no idea how to use a stick to command this “Hiccup Ensemble”.

But, he might not have eaten pork before, but he’d definitely seen pigs run.

Himekoji reasoned that the very first thing he should do was understand the unique sound each of the three made when they hiccuped.

Thinking of it, he raised his hand.

The baton was thin and long, feeling almost weightless in his grip. He flicked it once or twice casually, feeling a little unused to it.

Then, completely without reason, a slightly perverted thought popped into his head:

Using this stick to direct people… wouldn’t using the one down below be simpler and more brutal?

Poke, they scream. Poke harder, they scream harder. Poke fast, they scream loud and fast…

Wait, what is he thinking about at a time like this?!

Himekoji shook his head violently. This wasn’t right.

Was he a pervert?

No! He was just a totally normal guy!

Isn’t that what all guys are like?

Their heads are full of dirty, pervy stuff.

Compared to most guys, the only slightly perverted thing about Himekoji was that he… had actually tried some stuff…

Huh, getting off track.

Anyway, the image he’d just imagined… it was one of the three girls in front of him, right?

Which one?

Probably… whichever one you’re thinking about right now, dear reader.

Anyway—

Buddha says, don’t speak it aloud.

……

[Countdown: Four minutes and thirteen seconds!]

Time wasn’t generous. Himekoji quickly shoved down all those messy, naughty thoughts swirling in his head.

He swung the conductor’s baton cleanly and decisively, pointing it at each girl, one after the other in a single motion.

“Hic—!”

“Hic!”

“Hic…!”

Almost immediately, three hiccups sounded, each with its own character.

The baton was surprisingly effective?

Seems it wasn’t much worse than that other stick down below? Maybe I underestimated it?

Himekoji blinked, slightly surprised.

Truly, props from the System never disappointed. Not just that—they constantly surprised him!

Try it again!

Himekoji flicked the baton straight towards the girl with long, black hair.

“Yukinoshita calls!”

“Hic—!”

“Yukinoshita calls, Yuigahama follows!”

“Hic!”

“Yuigahama calls, Hikigaya follows!”

“Hic…!”

Whoa, it really works every time?

Himekoji couldn’t help but feel playful. He started swinging the baton fiercely through the air.

“Yukinoshita calls! Yukinoshita calls! After Yukinoshita calls, Yukinoshita calls again!”

Facing Yukinoshita Yukino, who was covering her mouth in disbelief, Himekoji waved the baton wildly, pointing at her repeatedly.

“Hic—! Hic—! Hic—! Hic—! Hic—!”

“Yuigahama, take over!”

“Hic! Hic!”

“W-wait, Akito? …What are you doooooing… hic! hic! hic!”

What am I doing?

Figuring out everyone’s unique sound, of course.

Just like you can all hear now—

Yuigahama’s hiccups were like a flute: smooth, beautiful, gentle yet firm, soft warmth containing an inner strength, perfect for expressing bright, open scenes.

Yukinoshita’s were closer to a zheng: incredibly expressive, high and pure, deeply moving and filled with spirit ♂.

As for Hikigaya’s…

Huh? Hikigaya?

Well… probably similar to like, an erhu or something…

Alright!

So, with these three “genius hiccup girls” forming a “power pop ensemble,” and him—the rookie conductor—just what kind of song should he make them perform?

Himekoji secretly glanced at the scrolling danmaku.

……