Chapter 127: Someday, Someone Who Likes Pervert-kun Will Appear
Chapter 127: Someday, Someone Who Likes Pervert-kun Will Appear
When Himekoji returned to the Service Club, Yukinoshita was already sitting upright in her usual spot as if nothing happened. She began handling the small number of request emails by herself.
By the way, girls usually have colder body temperatures, right? Wearing wet underwear probably isn’t very comfortable for her. She should be paying more attention to staying warm than guys do. Seriously, Yukinoshita really didn’t know how to take care of her own body. Himekoji even wanted to help take off Yukinoshita’s damp, sticky underwear for her.
Ah, he really was so considerate.
Eh, wait a second…
Himekoji, who had been secretly patting himself on the back for his kindness, suddenly thought of a problem. This was wrong! Counting this time, today he had already worried about Yukinoshita three times! Three whole times! When did he become someone so concerned about others? And, especially concerning his absolute enemy, Yukinoshita Yukino. Hmm, it felt like he’d used up all the care he could possibly show in his entire lifetime in just one go…
…
“By the way, Yukino-chan, how did you reply to that email yesterday?”
Yuigahama thought of something and suddenly asked.
“Yesterday’s?”
Himekoji overheard this and couldn’t help but prick up his ears in interest.
“Oh, that question about whom Pervert-kun should be paired with?”
Yukinoshita said that incredibly fujoshi-esque, terrifying phrase with an utterly calm expression and tone. Honestly, Himekoji was shocked! “Paired with” was such a gross phrase! How come every woman could just say it so casually now, without feeling awkward at all?
No way… Could even someone as righteous and proper as Yukinoshita actually accept the existence of guy x guy relationships? She said it without the slightest hint of reluctance! Although she didn’t show any actual interest either. Still, just this alone was enough to overturn Himekoji’s impression of Yukinoshita. Logically, shouldn’t Yukinoshita sternly scold this kind of scheming to create guy x guy couples? How could she compromise with the fujoshi agenda? No, this was practically joining forces with them!
Huh, wait…
Himekoji suddenly thought of a possibility. Hey… could Yukinoshita actually be a boy? Look, firstly, she had zero chest, right? And, she was super strong in fights too. Could it be that she was actually a guy trying to flirt with other guys, hence constantly wearing girls’ clothes? The more he thought about it, the more possible it seemed! As for her cute face… That was a weird question! Boys being cute was completely normal, right? Well, if that line of reasoning was true, there was one thing that just made no sense. That was—Himekoji had peeked under her skirt earlier in the bathroom for ages, and he hadn’t spotted any stick-like bulge under her underwear…
Ah, what a bummer… Wait, what was he feeling bummed about?! Himekoji was almost scared to death by that weird thought that flashed through his mind.
…
“Yeah, that one, just that one. So, Yukino-chan, when you replied, did you side with ‘Akito & Saika pairing’ or ‘Akito & Hayama pairing’?”
Hey now, Yuigahama! Why are you suddenly spouting nonsense too?! Did spending too much time with that Ebina person infect you?!
“By the way, could you two stop assuming that this ‘A-kun’ character is definitely supposed to be me?”
Even though Himekoji totally knew the truth of the matter, formally, he absolutely couldn’t admit it. So, he tried weakly protesting just a little.
“Huh? But didn’t it come with a photo?”
Yuigahama was quite surprised by Himekoji’s outright denial.
“Haven’t you ever had instant noodles? ‘Actual contents may differ from picture’! And, haven’t you seen the news? ‘Image for illustrative purposes only’! So, that photo attached to the email was just randomly put in!”
Himekoji began making things up off the top of his head.
“Eh? It’s like that?”
The ditzy big-busted girl almost instantly believed Himekoji’s nonsense. Thankfully, her brain finally kicked in at the last moment.
“N-no! That’s not right! Akito, you’re lying again, aren’t you? The examples you gave are totally unrelated to this! Besides, the girls at school have been talking about it all along…”
All along talking about him? Wait, people were talking about him constantly? Even though being a topic while absent could be considered proof of popularity, Himekoji felt zero happiness about it. Because it depended on what kind of topic it was! Himekoji could guess with his backside—if it was about him, it absolutely had to be negative gossip…
Yukinoshita typed out the final character on her keyboard. She then gently closed her laptop before finally answering Yuigahama’s question.
“Choose a paring? Why bother? Since Pervert-kun won’t ever get along well with anyone regardless, the original problem this client worried about essentially never existed in the first place.”
“I see! So the problem is solved?”
Yuigahama’s eyes sparkled as she immediately clapped her hands in agreement. Then, both of them adopted the demeanor of “the request has been successfully handled” and began enjoying the leisurely atmosphere after finishing work. They picked up their teacups and started sipping their black tea again. What was this mood? Even though Yukinoshita had just expressed disapproval of guy x guy stuff in her comment, why did Himekoji feel even more unhappy? While the guy x guy pairings were rejected, it felt like his charisma and ability to socialize were simultaneously completely rejected too! “Won’t ever get along well with anyone”? From where did you pull that damn conclusion?! What made Himekoji the most annoyed was how Yuigahama agreed immediately. Agree about what? You’re an idiot!
Oops, I almost forgot that Yuigahama is a complete airhead.
Hmph!
Anyway, if they found out how far his relationship with Saika had progressed right now, these jerks looking down on him would definitely be stunned!
Saika even gave him a gift today.
Clearly—
This was the beginning of them agreeing to spend their lives together!
…
“Himekoji-kun, you really don’t need to feel so upset right now.”
Surprisingly, Hikigaya stepped forward at that moment. She patted Himekoji-kun’s shoulder and offered this comforting remark.
“Upset? I’m not upset! Why would I be upset? What do I even have to be upset about?”
Himekoji was baffled.
“Even if what Yukinoshita said—That ‘you can’t get along with anyone’ thing is true…”
No, that’s wrong! That’s completely wrong! You jerks are all underestimating my charm!
Himekoji felt like he was going insane.
“But, different people have different tastes, so…”
Huh? Wait, what was this supposed to mean?
Did… this gloomy dead fish-eyed Hikigaya girl finally gather the courage to confess to him?!
Sorry, but I’m allergic to seafood and fish!
Himekoji was almost ready to blurt out this rejection.
However—
“Someday, you’ll probably meet a blind person.”
B-B-Blind?!
Heh… heh… heh…
Hikigaya’s consolation was truly heartwarming…
It took immense effort for Himekoji to stop himself from punting this cold-hearted girl on the spot.
“How could you say such a thing, Hikigaya?”
Unexpectedly, Yukinoshita spoke up to defend Himekoji this time.
But seriously, what’s her angle?
She was clearly the one who started mocking him earlier!
Scoffing at him, ridiculing him—she did it all first! Everything began with Yukinoshita!
However, Yukinoshita didn’t lie or hide her true feelings.
So, since she chose to step in now, she must sincerely want to help him.
Therefore, Himekoji ultimately decided to trust Yukinoshita Yukino.
A gentle smile formed on Yukinoshita’s face then—one so heart-stirring Himekoji nearly fell for it.
“How could you say that, Hikigaya? Even a blind person wouldn’t be interested in this Pervert-kun. With that statement, one could interpret you as discriminating against people with disabilities.”
While displaying this smile, Yukinoshita slowly and clearly spoke each word.
Huh? Wait!
Himekoji froze for two seconds before finally catching on.
Was Yukinoshita defending him? No way! She was defending the “blind person” mentioned by Hikigaya!
Thank goodness he resisted that heart-throb moment earlier—only an idiot would fall for a woman like this.
“Of course, Pervert-kun doesn’t need to feel completely disheartened either.”
Doesn’t need to feel disheartened?
Hold on!
And who exactly caused this devastated, disheartened state of mine?!
Seemingly noticing Himekoji’s completely darkened upset expression, Yukinoshita pursed her lips again. As if trying to make amends, she added:
“Someday, some insect might develop feelings for Pervert-kun.”
At that moment, Yukinoshita’s face bloomed into an utterly pleasant, warm smile.
How adorable…
Adorable my foot!
“At least give me an animal that’s cuter!”
Himekoji had already modestly lowered his standards to not even hoping for a human.
“It could even be a cat!”
“Absolutely not!”
Yukinoshita shot it down swiftly, leaving no room for argument.
“Huh?”
Did she have to be this cruel? Not even a cat?
Come to think of it, Himekoji probably got along pretty well with cats, right? After all, he did own a cat once…
“Then… a fly?”
Yukinoshita seemed to realize she might’ve been too harsh. Reluctantly, she offered Himekoji a tiny bit of choice.
“I’m not well-read but don’t try to trick me! Isn’t a fly also an insect?! Meaning you actually narrowed down my options instead!!!”
“Eh?”
Yukinoshita blinked in an expression of apparent surprise at Himekoji’s “knowledge.”
Seriously? Surprised?
Did he see that right?! What’s with the surprise?
Instantly, Himekoji felt another headache starting.
Seriously, in Yukinoshita Yukino’s mind, how hopelessly clueless did she think he was?
A silly trick like that wouldn’t work unless used on an ultra-dense airhead like Yuigahama!
So stop lumping him together with that big-boobed, brainless idiot!
…
Anyway, with yet another verbal blow that got Himekoji all worked up, it marked the n-th resounding success of the “Poisonous Tongue Operation.”
And so, Yukinoshita closed her eyes and smiled.
She wore a pleased expression showing off her victory. Then, while calmly smoothing back her hair, she radiated pure satisfaction and confidence.
W-Wait a second…
That smug, almost petty expression…
This version of Yukinoshita was kind of cute again?
Perhaps, just perhaps—
Underneath that loner and cold exterior, Yukinoshita Yukino might hide much, much more worth discovering.
Sharp-tongued, yet cute. Cold, yet cute. Arrogant, pushing others away, yet cute. Even her small chest, which lowered her score the most—sometimes thinking of it, seemed unbelievably cute…
Huh? What weird thoughts was I having?
Himekoji snapped awake in an instant, wanting to slap himself.
Just being cute in appearance, what use was that! Could she compare to his Saika?
Only at the thought of Saika did Himekoji finally calm down.
Damn it, that was close—almost cheated mentally just now.
Saika, sorry! I didn’t mean to!
Himekoji frantically began regretting his thoughts.
……
After finishing today’s work—well, though there was barely any work…
The Service Club finally settled back into its routine: tea parties every day.
“Phew—”
Holding teacups, Yukinoshita and Yuigahama made the same sipping sound, then closed their eyes in bliss.
Such a petty bourgeois lifestyle.
No! In high school, where youth meant hard work and sweat, they were practically models of “corruption”!
Himekoji secretly glanced at Yukinoshita and the cup she used.
Yup, it was the “Holy Grail”—the real one!
Drink up, go ahead. Soon you’ll suffer.
The “Holy Grail’s” “effect” was long-lasting, something Himekoji remembered well.
They’d argued a long time—surely the moment was near?
Just as Himekoji thought this, another fierce urge hit him.
Oh right, almost forgot: for Himekoji, the “Holy Grail’s” effect lasted too.
Couldn’t dodge this. What comes, comes…
Without a word, Himekoji stood and rushed to the toilet.
Right after, footsteps followed. Himekoji knew who it was without turning.
For the next half-hour, Himekoji and Yukinoshita became “Toilet Commuters.”
After one toilet trip, another followed soon. Hardly sat down before rushing back.
Over thirty minutes, Himekoji went eight times; Yukinoshita, six times.
That scary woman held out two more times willpower alone.
Maybe girls felt ashamed more easily?
By the way, Yukinoshita’s face stayed bright red.
Super cute!
Ugh! Not cute at all!
……
Himekoji returned for the ninth time; Yukinoshita, the seventh.
Back seated in the Service Club, the two exchanged a look—one glance—then instantly looked away.
“Do you have… kidney problems?”
To avoid awkwardness, Yukinoshita chose embarrassing Himekoji…
Himekoji froze!
Holy crap, wasn’t this the “fifty steps laughs at one hundred steps”?!
He had no idea what gave her the right to say that!
“Yeah, Himekoji-kun, maybe see a doctor?”
But Yuigahama agreed with concern!
“I think so too, so young yet…” Hikigaya shook his head sadly.
Huh?! Why’d they all side with Yukinoshita?
“Hold on—Yukinoshita, you went just as much! If I need a doctor, what about you? Think you’re exempt?”
We’re both embarrassing ourselves, damn it!
Himekoji fumed.
“Toilet? What toilet? My trips out had nothing to do with that! Once to print documents, once answered a call, once bought snacks we ran out of…”
Yukinoshita counted off fingers super seriously.
But halfway, her legs trembled and squeezed unnoticeably.
Yukinoshita suddenly stood, grabbing a phone off the table like it mattered:
“Ah! Another call. Heading out!”
Again with the act?!
Himekoji blocked her path instantly.
“Yukinoshita… isn’t that Yuigahama’s phone?”
“Eh?”
Glancing down, Yukinoshita froze.
“Yukino-chan, you grabbed wrong. That’s… mine.” Yuigahama spoke up quickly too.
Both phones sat close on the table. With haste, Yukinoshita had taken the wrong one.
Well, awkward…
……
……