Chapter 123: Ula Shirley Is Such a Fool!
Chapter 123: Ula Shirley Is Such a Fool!
…
…
Yet, one minute passed.
One minute one second, one minute two seconds, one minute three seconds…
Yukinoshita sat perfectly still on her chair, flipping through her Bunko edition.
Not a single sign of anything unusual!
Wait! That doesn’t make sense!
According to Himekoji’s experiments, three minutes—at most three minutes—should’ve been the activation time for the Holy Grail.
Could it be that someone gave Yukinoshita more seconds?
No, he scrolled back through the Danmaku. Most were teammates subtracting seconds; the plus-second Danmaku were few.
Meaning, the problem must be elsewhere.
Himekoji frowned, puzzled. On instinct, he turned to glance at the Holy Grail sitting on the table.
“Huh?”
In the next instant, something clicked.
Yes—two identical “Holy Grails” existed.
Earlier, to compare their shapes, Yukinoshita had pulled out her original one too… and placed them side by side.
So…
Had they gotten mixed up?!
The cup Yukinoshita finally used for tea… was the one Himekoji had licked yesterday?
Meanwhile, the actual Holy Grail sat forgotten on the side, untouched?
That possibility felt huge!
Scratch that—this had to be the truth!
Just as Himekoji pondered this, thinking he’d cracked a massive mystery, Yukinoshita picked up a cup again.
After resting a while, she gently blew on it to cool it. The steam lessened; the black tea had reached drinkable warmth.
Tilting back her pale, swan-like neck—the lines of her lips slightly wet—she placed them against the rim once more. The tea trickled into her slightly open mouth.
“Wait! Yukinoshita, wrong cup! That’s the one I licked yesterday! You fool!”
The one he’d licked?
The one touched by that Pervert?
Yukinoshita paused, blinking in shock.
That pause… that slight hesitation… actually looked a little cute.
“Splat!”
…
Cute? Yeah right!
Yukinoshita, she…
She really… went and… sprayed her tea again!
And it went everywhere wrong—all over his face—again!
Was she doing this on purpose?
No need to even ask. Absolutely, one hundred percent deliberate!
He hadn’t even been in front of her! He was seated to the side, across the table!
Logically, this time she shouldn’t have hit him.
But right before spraying, she turned her face… straight toward him.
Well… Himekoji had just spoken to her…
So…
Himekoji felt the “snow water” drench his hair, his face dripping.
“What was that for?!”
He nearly lost it. Slamming the table as he jumped up, his demand came out furious.
Was spraying her hobby?
Was she secretly a tea-spraying monster?
Felt like he’d been splashed by a fountain gone wild!
Only moments ago… he’d even thought she seemed somewhat adorable…
He decided then: his brain must’ve been sat on by a donkey.
Yukinoshita wasn’t cute. Not one tiny bit!
…
“Sorry. Sprayed the wrong target. Mistook something nearby for… a spittoon, a wastebasket, or maybe a sink.”
Her cheeks colored ever so slightly—only for an instant before calm returned.
Soon her expression turned cool and untouchable again.
Wiping her lips elegantly, no one could’ve imagined her as the girl who just sprayed tea everywhere.
Spittoon? Wastebasket? Sink?
Seriously! What kind of insult was that?
After blasting tea in his face, not a hint of apology? Just sharper words?
Yep. Outside her looks, nothing cute remained. Yukinoshita truly mastered that art.
…
Wait, did he… actually resemble a sink or trash can?
If so? Someone alert him! Where could he buy sinks or bins this good-looking?
He’d empty his wallet to put them on display—like fine art at home!
Well… maybe donate some to a museum?
[Ding!]
[Holy Grail Water skill—”Seep”—triggered!]
As these weird thoughts swirled, the System notification chime invaded his mind without warning.
Seep? What?
Also… his face suddenly felt itchy.
…
“Here, Akito…”
Yuigahama walked over, stifling giggles, offering him tissues.
“Hey, what’s so funny about this?!”
Himekoji grumbled, rolling his eyes as he took it. But before he could wipe his face with the tissue Yuigahama handed him, she suddenly gasped.
“Huh? I-It’s… dried up!”
“What?”
Himekoji flinched at the girl’s high-pitched cry.
“The water on Akito’s face, it’s all dried up! Weird, it vanished in a blink! Akito didn’t even wipe his face yet.”
Yuigahama sounded shocked.
Dried up?
Wait… is this what they meant by “seeping in”?!
Himekoji hastily reached up to touch his cheek.
His sharp jawline felt as handsome as ever, but the wetness that had covered his face moments ago was completely gone.
So…
Himekoji’s heart sank. Oh no.
Yukinoshita hadn’t messed up with the cup after all!
…
“You sure licked it up fast,” murmured Hikigaya from her corner, her voice flat and lifeless.
Though she claimed to whisper, she spoke just loudly enough for every single person present to hear.
“I didn’t lick anything! Licking tea someone spat out? Like some kinda pervert?”
Damn it, Himekoji thought, irked. What nonsense was that Dead Fish Eyes spouting?
That’s slander! Unbelievable!
“Could it be… you’re not?”
Yukinoshita stared calmly at Himekoji as she fired back.
“Of course I’m not!”
“Oh, no? Well, true enough. You don’t just like licking my spat-out tea. You also enjoy licking my used recorder and my worn indoor shoes. Pervert-kun certainly has… varied tastes.”
“Hey, that’s too far! Get your facts straight! I only stole your shoes, stole them! I didn’t lick them! And I didn’t lay a finger on your recorder!”
“‘Only’ stole? Oh, so stealing became a part of Pervert-kun’s daily routine? So common it doesn’t even rate as outrageous? Can even be described by ‘just’ now?”
Yukinoshita spoke coolly, her words sharp and cutting as always.
And worst of it was, she practically made sense. Himekoji couldn’t argue back at all.
He opened his mouth, but no words came out.
…
“So… Himekoji is a habitual thief then? My missing bento box and chopsticks last time… was that…?”
Hikigaya seemed to remember something, turning to Himekoji with a serious accusation.
“Shut it! I have zero interest in stealing anything you own, Dead Fish Eyes!”
Stomped by Yukinoshita and with frustration boiling over, Himekoji latched onto Hikigaya who’d just walked right into the line of fire.
He snapped back without holding back.
Seriously! Don’t blame him for stuff she carelessly lost herself!
Ahem! Felt better after that shout!
Himekoji sat back down. The mention of theft suddenly reminded him. He grabbed his bag and pulled out a bento box like a magician pulling a rabbit from a hat.
Since he’d slept straight through until afternoon dismissal that morning, his lunch went untouched.
Good time to pull it out and eat something to calm down.
He recalled making something like pizza for lunch. Getting a bit hungry now. Seemed perfect for a late snack, sort of like afternoon tea.
“W-Wait…! That bento box… It couldn’t be… Could it?”
Hikigaya started nagging again, seriously annoying.
“Himekoji! Does that lunchbox have a name written on the bottom?!”
“What? Gonna say it says ‘Your Name’?”
Was she ever going to stop?
Himekoji shook his head, nearly laughing at her ridiculous words. Why would her name be on it? Talk about delusional!
“Turn it over! Let me see!”
Hikigaya pushed, refusing to let it go.
Argh, this Dead Fish Eyes woman was such a pain!
“Fine, fine! If it really says Your Name, I’ll eat it live…”
Himekoji spoke dismissively, flipping the bottom of the bento box upwards without a care.
And there, much to his utter shock, neatly written in big letters—
“Hikigaya Hachiman ☆⌒(＾-゜)v THX!!”
HIKIGAYA HACHIMAN FOR REAL?
What the?! What was with the cutesy emoticon?! Don’t tell me she was secretly girly, that Dead Fish Eyes?!
Nope, not the point right now!
With a smack!
Himekoji slammed the bento box back down on the table instantly.
“Ah, speaking of, that movie ‘Your Name’ is supposed to be really good, right? Yuigahama, wanna go see it together sometime?”
Stiff for just a second, Himekoji smoothly switched topics, forcing a casual laugh.
“Huh? Okay, okay! This week?”
Clapping her hands happily, Yuigahama cheerfully agreed immediately.
Huh?!
Wait, don’t just agree like that!
“How about Sunday? It’s a date then! I’ll book the tickets!”
Yuigahama suddenly whipped out her phone and started tapping away rapidly.
“How about the seven o’clock show?”
“N–”
“Good! Bought them! Done! Payment finished!”
What?!
He hadn’t even finished saying “not that time” before Yuigahama blithely bought the tickets?!
Damn, that efficiency! Terrifyingly high!
“How… how much?”
Although not very willing, Himekoji still had to respond at that moment.
After all, he was the one who invited them to the movies first. So, he couldn’t back out immediately, right?
He decided to just give the money now and find some excuse to call it off later.
Himekoji started calculating in his mind.
“Don’t worry about it, my treat…”
“Huh?”
Himekoji frowned.
“Ah, no, no! What I mean is, passing money around is too much trouble. How about little Akito just buys me dinner instead?”
“Wait! When did dinner get added in? No one said anything about dinner!”
This was turning into a date, wasn’t it?
Don’t think I didn’t notice!
“Haven’t I said it? Well, I’m saying it now then.”
Yuigahama took charge and decided all by herself again.
No way! This couldn’t go on. Just moments ago, it was only about a movie. Now it’s a movie plus dinner. If this kept up, they’d be booking a hotel room next?!
Over my dead body!
Himekoji was about to refuse flat out. But right then, Hikigaya marched right up to him, cutting him off before he could speak.
“So, Himekoji-kun, that IS my lunchbox, isn’t it?”
“H-How could it be?”
Himekoji felt guilty instantly.
Damn it! I already changed the subject! Can’t you take a hint?
Give me some face and let this drop, alright?
As the saying goes: Give someone a break so you can still meet later!
“Please turn the lunchbox over and show me the bottom!”
Hikigaya refused to back down; she seemed determined to push Himekoji to the wall.
God, that Dead Fish Eyes is so unreasonable!
Himekoji was annoyed and cursed in his mind.
“No!”
“Then I’ll do it myself!”
Hikigaya didn’t hesitate. She grabbed for it directly! And surprisingly, she was shockingly strong!
Himekoji underestimated her. With one swift move, she snatched the lunchbox.
“And you say it’s not mine!”
Hikigaya glared at Himekoji with her uniquely intense Dead Fish Eyes.
She slapped the lunchbox down hard on the table, bottom up.
“Hikigaya Hachiman ☆⌒(＾-゜)v THX!!”
Several large, neat Japanese characters – and a cutesy, over-the-top emoticon totally mismatched with the name written above it.
“Wow, Hikki, you actually use kaomoji? I totally didn’t know that!”
Yuigahama butted in again unnecessarily.
“Eh? Ah… o-occasionally, maybe…”
Dead Fish Eyes calmly slipped a finger over the emoticon, trying to hide it.
Tch, she’s actually shy? How strange!
“That emoticon is super cute though.”
Yuigahama giggled, completely oblivious she shouldn’t bring this up.
“L-let’s not talk about that! That’s not the point! Not the point!”
Hikigaya hastily cut Yuigahama off and threw the discussion back to Himekoji.
“Himekoji-kun! Didn’t you just brag? You didn’t steal my lunchbox. You said you had zero interest in my stuff. And you said if my name was REALLY on the bottom of this lunchbox, you’d… uh… eat what, again?”
“Eat paper! I’ll eat paper!”
Without a word, Himekoji grabbed several sheets of paper from his bag and stuffed them into his mouth.
Just eating paper? Easy! No big deal!
But even after he went that far, Hikigaya still wouldn’t let it go.
“As I recall~ Wasn’t someone just acting all high and mighty earlier? Saying things like—’Shut up! I have absolutely zero interest in stealing anything from a loser with Dead Fish Eyes like you!’?”
For crying out loud, how vindictive can one person be…?
Himekoji felt crushed: “Look, the things I ‘stole’—no, borrowed—I’ve borrowed a ton of stuff. How could I possibly remember every single piece? Besides, whatever I borrowed, didn’t I always leave twice its worth in cash behind? Isn’t that more than enough for a new one? You could probably buy two with it! Seriously!”
“Is having money supposed to make you special? Does money mean you get to steal whatever you want with no consequences?!”
Hikigaya declared righteously! Shockingly, the gloom that usually clouded her face had completely vanished!
For a moment, Himekoji was silent.
He had to admit she was right.
But he had his own burdens too. Leaving extra money was his only way to ease his conscience; he felt he had no other choice.
“Well… actually, I bought two new lunchboxes. They’re under my desk. Feel free to ‘borrow’ one whenever you have time. Just leave 2500 yen this time. I’m not asking for extra.”
“Huh?”
Himekoji stared, dumbfounded, only snapping out of it after a long pause.
He was floored! Utterly defeated!
Holy shit! Give me back my ‘silent repentance’! Give me back my ‘deep reflection’!
…
“Um… I’ll excuse myself for a minute.”
Suddenly, Yukinoshita, who had been standing silently like an offline NPC in ‘god mode’ this whole time, spoke up.
Almost before finishing the sentence, she bustled quickly out of the classroom, posture slightly awkward—almost like she was walking strangely?
Huh? Could it be…?
Just as the thought entered Himekoji’s mind, his own expression abruptly changed!
A sudden, overwhelming sensation hit him, completely without warning!
“I-I need the toilet!”
Clutching his pants, Himekoji dashed out after Yukinoshita in wide, frantic strides.
…