Chapter 118: Yukinoshita Felt Thirsty, Yukinoshita Sweated Profusely
Chapter 118: Yukinoshita Felt Thirsty, Yukinoshita Sweated Profusely
Five-thirty, the time club activities ended.
With a soft snap as Yukinoshita closed her bunko edition novel, everyone else instantly knew exactly what she meant. They stood up silently and began tidying up.
Yukinoshita and Yuigahama collected the tea set and leftover snacks from the table as usual.
Meanwhile, Himekoji simply shouldered his bag, clearly planning to sneak out first.
“Wait.”
Just as Himekoji had already taken half a step outside the Service Club door, Yukinoshita suddenly called out to him.
“Pervert-kun. Aren’t you forgetting something?” The girl frowned, displeased. Her small, pale, immaculate hand gripped the teacup Himekoji had “defiled” tightly.
“Forgetting something?” Himekoji tilted his head, thinking.
“Oh! Right!” After pondering hard for a moment, Himekoji smacked his palm, jolted by a sudden memory.
“Um… could you please… uh… send me that thing… uh… the one from the email earlier?” Himekoji rubbed the back of his head, feeling pretty awkward.
Actually, now that he thought about it, Yukinoshita had specifically reminded him about this.
Looking at it that way, she was surprisingly kind.
“That thing?” Yukinoshita’s frown deepened.
“Huh? You reminded me, right? That thing… you know, that thing…”
“What thing, exactly? Pervert-kun, please speak more clearly.”
Huh? What was Yukinoshita playing at? Playing dumb? Did she really have to force him to say such an embarrassing thing out loud?
Oh well, it’s not like he could win against this woman.
Himekoji decided to just get straight to the point. “It’s that picture of Saika and me in the email! Could you please send it to me?”
“Huh? Ak- Akito! So you really are…” Yuigahama’s eyes widened in disbelief, letting out a small gasp.
“Am not!” Himekoji cut her off loudly before she could finish.
Like hell he was!
Did girls automatically assume two guys being together meant something more?
Ugh! Thinking everyone is gay!
Though, honestly, that photo was really great. Saika on his tiptoes, wiping Himekoji’s sweat off, looked incredibly cute!
Meaning, if he worked hard enough, maybe he could finally escape being a virgin!
After all, Saika was so gentle, surely he wouldn’t say no.
And just to be clear, this wasn’t anything weird!
Because Saika’s true identity might actually be a girl!
Didn’t his looks and personality totally seem more girly than an actual girl? Sure, he didn’t have breasts… but wait, didn’t Yukinoshita lack those too?
Hold on… could Yukinoshita secretly be a boy…
Whoa! Stop right there! What was he thinking?
Himekoji shook his head hard. He needed to clear his mind of those bizarre, messy thoughts. Fast.
…
“I won’t send it!” A sharp answer to Himekoji’s shameless, suspicious request.
The speaker had a dead-eyed stare and a stern, unyielding face before snapping her notebook shut with a thump.
Huh? Hah?
Oh crap, he nearly forgot!
This guy, no, girl, was supposedly Hikigaya. His rival.
Damn, how jealous can she be?
Maybe it was time to end this rivalry once and for all. Permanently.
Himekoji didn’t need rivals.
…
“So this is what you forgot?” Yukinoshita’s voice sounded like it was scraped out from between clenched teeth – far more terrifying than usual.
Chills instantly crawled over Himekoji’s skin.
He visibly shuddered.
“Ah? W-what else could it be?”
Cripes, what was wrong with this woman? Some kind of frost mage?
Honestly, with the whole global warming issue… Yukinoshita alone could probably solve it with ease!
Why bother with school? Go help Mother Earth already! Her talents were totally getting wasted!
…
What else could it be?
Hearing Himekoji’s answer, Yukinoshita actually laughed.
A thin, cold laugh, like the fleeting, harsh glare of sunlight off snow.
“You used my teacup. And you think that’s just going to slide?” Her lips parted slightly as she spoke.
In that instant, Himekoji could have sworn he saw swirling snow flurries behind Yukinoshita. Seriously!
Oh crap! She really was a frost mage!
Heretics! Heretics! All other magic schools were inferior. Fire magic was the one true path!
Damn, any normal person would immediately crumble to their knees on the spot in front of a Yukinoshita this scary.
But Himekoji was not a normal person.
“Th-then I’ll buy you a new one!” Himekoji refused to back down!
… Wasn’t offering to replace it, like, the ultimate sign of backing down? (He thought)
How could that be?
Bullshit! Pure nonsense!
“Hmph.”
Yukinoshita seemed to accept the proposal and snorted softly.
The next moment, the girl suddenly remembered something and added cautiously,
“It must be brand new. The seal shouldn’t be broken.”
The seal shouldn’t be broken?
Damn, what did Yukinoshita take him for?!
Did she suspect he would tamper with the teacup?
Himekoji felt personally insulted!
…
Still, wow, Yukinoshita was way too sharp, wasn’t she?
Guess spitting in the cup or doing any other sneaky little things was off the table…
He felt kinda gloomy.
“Got it, got it.”
Waving it off carelessly, Himekoji strode out of the clubroom.
Gah, there was just no staying in the Service Club while Yukinoshita was around!
…
Back home, Himekoji took a quick shower to wash off the bad vibes, then opened the System’s prize draw screen with a flicker of hope.
One light novel prize ticket, plus the free monthly draw – it was time for Himekoji Akito to shine!
“Draw, draw, draw!”
Himekoji rubbed his hands together eagerly.
[“Esteemed user, would you like to use the light novel prize ticket? Please confirm.”]
This time, Himekoji got smart. Following his newly learned “Luck King Rule,” he knew he had to say “no.”
Only after refusing eighty-one times in a row before hitting confirm could he perfectly avoid the “Bad Luck Curse.”
[“Esteemed user, would you like to use the light novel prize ticket? Please confirm.”]
“No.”
[“Esteemed user, would you like to use the light novel prize ticket? Please confirm.”]
“No.”
…
Before long, the System was thoroughly frazzled.
[Are you done yet?]
“Hang on, still forty-seven to go.”
…
[Done?]
“Twenty-eight left.”
…
[Hurry the heck up, would you?! It’s annoying!]
Huh?
Hearing the System could get annoyed perked Himekoji right up!
The System was still just a program at heart, and its rigid nature was finally showing.
As long as Himekoji kept playing, it had to politely chime away forever:
[“Esteemed user…”], [“Esteemed user…”], [“Esteemed user…”]
“Huuuh—”
Himekoji let out a long, satisfied sigh.
…
Seventy-nine, eighty, eighty-one.
“Use it! Use it now!”
Himekoji commanded.
[Ding!]
[Congratulations! You won Volume 1 of the light novel Ore no Imouto ga Konna ni Kawaii Wake ga Nai!]
[Purchase permissions unlocked for all other volumes of Ore no Imouto ga Konna ni Kawaii Wake ga Nai.]
A little sister theme?
The title sounded pretty awesome!
Did the “Luck King Rule” actually work?
Himekoji hadn’t paid much attention to anime or manga in his past life, so most novels, comics, and shows were totally unfamiliar to him.
No big deal, anyway. He could just throw the manuscripts at Sonoko-nee later. Good or bad, that’s what professional editors like her were for.
“Now, onwards!”
Feeling his luck was still running hot, Himekoji decided to press it.
[Ding!]
[Monthly prize ticket successfully used!]
[Congratulations! You won the—”Holy Grail”!]
Whoa, the Holy Grail?
That name sounded totally epic!
Himekoji hurriedly clicked open the detailed info section to check.
[“Holy Grail,” a cup existing only in legend. Any liquid poured into it will, moments later, be transformed by its mysterious and unknowable power.]
“No way, seriously? This mystical?”
Himekoji pulled out the so-called “Holy Grail.” He had barely glanced at it when he got a huge fright.
“Jeez, isn’t this Yukinoshita’s cup?”
It looked exactly the same!
Was it really hers?
Himekoji puzzled over it.
After all, the System stealing things wasn’t exactly a first-time offense.
“Whatever, doesn’t matter.”
He quickly stopped worrying about the minor detail and took it in his hands, turning it over to examine it.
Aside from looking exactly like Yukinoshita’s teacup, there was nothing special about its material either. Could this thing really be called a “Holy Grail”?
[“Holy Grail” must be used together with the “Holy Grail Heart.”]
As soon as the System’s voice finished speaking, a remote-like object suddenly appeared in midair. Without any warning, it dropped right onto Himekoji’s palm.
“So this is the Holy Grail Heart? Its looks totally don’t pass the test! Couldn’t they at least make it heart-shaped?”
[You’re so damn picky! Just make do with it!]
“Make do? Wait, how the heck is this stupid thing even supposed to be used? You have to tell me, you know!”
After yelling for ages with no response from the System, Himekoji gave up on relying on that jerk and decided to figure it out himself.
The remote called “Holy Grail Heart” had all sorts of buttons, but only five were currently available:
“Parched Dry,” “Ravenous Hunger,” “Sweating Buckets,” “Genius Belching Girl,” and “Toilet Commuter.”
“Any liquid poured into it will soon be affected by its mysterious magical powers.”
Remembering that earlier explanation about the Holy Grail, Himekoji had an idea.
He started experimenting immediately.
First, he pressed the “Parched Dry” button, then poured water into the “Holy Grail.” The whole time, he stared at the cup intently, not daring to blink.
But nothing unusual happened.
So, Himekoji cautiously picked up the cup and took a tiny sip.
Hmm, still perfectly normal.
It was just water—colorless and tasteless.
Oh crap! Could this be some useless, fake cup that just tricked people?
Did you think Himekoji would believe that?
Wrong! He wasn’t going to jump to conclusions so easily!
He deliberately waited a while.
One minute… two minutes… three minutes…
He just stood there doing nothing, waiting patiently…
Huh? Wait, did he suddenly feel… kinda thirsty?
Himekoji instinctively picked up the cup and took a second sip.
He was still thirsty. No, actually, he felt even thirstier!
Gulp Gulp Gulp.
He downed the entire cup in a few big gulps.
But that parched, desert-dry feeling? Not even a hint of relief! If anything, it got worse!
His throat felt like it was on fire, cut by knives, hot and painful.
“Water… water… more water…”
Himekoji hastily poured another full cup. He raised the “Holy Grail” to gulp it all down, but suddenly realized something was wrong.
He immediately threw the weird thing away (since it made him thirstier the more he drank!) onto the desk, grabbed a normal cup, and gulped down several mouthfuls.
But it was no use. The Holy Grail’s effects seemed to last long-term. For the next half hour, Himekoji did nothing besides drinking water to quench his thirst.
Oh, and he also ran to the toilet quite a few times.
Only after another half-hour did that “thirst” symptom finally start to fade.
Human experimentation… doing it yourself… huh, no wonder it felt so scary!
Himekoji’s heart was still pounding with leftover fear.
But at least he’d successfully proven his theory.
This “Holy Grail” was indeed strangely magical—as expected of something made by the System.
Maybe… the cup he had to pay Yukinoshita back with was sorted?
Thinking about this, Himekoji couldn’t help but grin wickedly.
Yukinoshita, Parched Dry… Yukinoshita, Ravenously Hungry… Yukinoshita Sweating Buckets… Yukinoshita, Genius Belching Girl… Yukinoshita the Toilet Commuter…
Damn, those mental images were pure gold!
All he needed to do now was find a gift shop to repackage the cup. That person wanted it unopened? Easy!
Himekoji would make sure Yukinoshita didn’t see any trace it had been “repackaged.”
Hmm… the only thing Himekoji felt slightly regretful about right now was…
The remote called “Holy Grail Heart” had many other interesting buttons still unusable.
Like:
“Foot-in-Mouth Syndrome,” “Dead Drunk,” “Square Dancer,” “Soul Singer,” “Tsundere Lewd-Talker,” and so on.
……
After figuring things out more or less, Himekoji set the “Holy Grail” aside.
He took out his phone and opened his email inbox.
Ever since syncing email addresses with Takanashi’s account, he’d been waiting for the “Thunderbolt Hammer Master” email.
The inbox was empty.
Still nothing today?
He couldn’t help but frown with disappointment.
Luckily, his little friend hadn’t caused any trouble all day. That must mean the umbrella was still in one piece… for now.
But until that umbrella was found, Himekoji knew he wouldn’t feel truly at ease.
“Ahhh…”
Sighing deeply, Himekoji walked onto the balcony, looked up at the sky, and felt an impulse to recite some poetry.
“Gou……”
Ptu! Wrong!
What he wanted to recite was definitely a modern poem!
“Ahem!”
After clearing his throat, he began with dramatic head swaying and melancholic flair:
“Oh Umbrella, umbrella…”
“If you’re safe and sound, that would be sunshine…”
……