Chapter 114: Locking Yukinoshita in the Basement… For This?!

…

“Himekoji, come to my office after school!”

Yep. Totally nailed by the big boss Hiratsuka.

Himekoji knew it would happen.

Ditching class all afternoon yesterday, plus acting crazy in class today…

Ugh. A twenty-thousand-character self-reflection essay was clearly waving hello at him again.

But that was after school.

The moment the bell rang, Himekoji slipped out of the classroom like grease. He needed to check on that restroom Rikka was in.

He was kinda worried. What if something bad actually happened? That would be seriously bad, right?

Even from way down the hall, Himekoji heard Rikka’s screams.

“Help! Help! Heeelllp!”

The 150cm bundle of panic was flailing her tiny legs, scrambling out of the restroom half-falling, her clothes all disheveled. Her face was flushed bright red, her steps were shaky and weak.

And right behind her, Hanjo Ayame gave chase at a leisurely pace.

Letting out an occasional queenly laugh of, “Ohohohoho~~”

Mmm… Such a lovely couple…

Himekoji took one look and was instantly moved by their ‘love’. The knot of worry in his chest vanished.

He turned and left without hesitation. Better not disturb their private time.

Be happy, you two…

…

“Pfft!”

Okay, Himekoji couldn’t hold it in.

He laughed until his stomach hurt. It was just too damn funny!

No wonder the System loved pulling stuff like this. Hell, if those stupid choices didn’t keep happening to him, Himekoji would love to watch this too!

But… there was no ‘if’.

Thinking that, his laughter froze instantly.

“Sigh.”

Damn this stupid System to hell!

…

The office after school.

Hiratsuka-sensei had been lecturing Himekoji nonstop for over half an hour. Her rant showed zero signs of stopping.

Himekoji was being yelled at like crazy.

He couldn’t even get a single word in to argue or talk back. She talked like a machine gun with her words.

For god’s sake, it was just skipping half a day’s classes! Did she have to be so uptight?

After another ten minutes, the Hiratsuka-brand hair dryer finally switched off. The Female Teacher picked up her cup, took a sip of tea to wet her throat, and seemed ready to gear up for round two.

Sure enough, just as Himekoji expected, the next words followed–

“Take a two-minute break. We’ll continue.”

Continue? Continue your head!

“Sensei! Just tell me what it is! Writing a self-reflection essay, cleaning duty, or volunteering?”

Anyway, whatever it was, just give it to him straight!

“What’s the rush?”

The Female Teacher looked like she hadn’t quite gotten the yelling out of her system yet.

“Well… It’s just… I still need to go to my club activity, you know?”

Himekoji threw out a random excuse, hoping to escape this misery.

“Club activity? You? What club would actually want you?”

What did she mean, ‘you’? That was offensive! Show him some respect! Talk normally!

Otherwise, even if she was ‘Shizu-chan’, he’d… he’d… he’d still be totally powerless to do anything…

Thinking that, Himekoji slumped his shoulders in defeat.

“What club activity… Well… It’s probably… umm… the S-Service Club?”

“Oh? So you do remember you have the Service Club?”

Hiratsuka-sensei folded her arms and laughed. It was a laugh, sure, but it had this weird, creepy vibe. Super scary!

Such was the power of a twenty-seven-year-single woman!

This had to be one of her special techniques for keeping it that way!

In short–

You’re never getting married!

That’s what Himekoji really meant.

…

“Know? Of course I know! Because you’re in charge of the club activities, Hiratsuka-sensei, right? So I remember very, very well.”

If bootlicking and sweet-talking could bring world peace, Himekoji would gladly sacrifice himself.

Yup. Don’t admire him. He’s just that great!

After all… mankind only has one Earth!

“Oh? But you haven’t exactly shown it. You’ve been skipping the Service Club activities for three weeks, haven’t you?”

Crap! How did she know so clearly? Did Yukinoshita report to her every day?

“Ahem… It’s not that bad, not that bad. I was suspended at home for a week, and helping Rikka with homework for another week. So, if you take those two weeks out, it’s only skipping one week, really.”

“Only?”

“Heh… Hehehe…”

Sensing Hiratsuka-sensei’s displeasure, Himekoji could only give a dry laugh.

“Come here. I’ve got something to show you, kid.”

Hiratsuka Shizuka suddenly stood up from her office chair, stretched her body a bit, raised her hand, and spoke up.

He’d finally reached this step!

Himekoji scrambled over in a rush.

As was the tradition, Hiratsuka-sensei always concluded her “life guidance” with some violence.

Which meant the scolding was finally coming to an end!

What a relief! Such great news!

Thwack!

The moment Himekoji got close, the female teacher immediately whacked him hard right on the forehead.

“Damn it! Oh, yeah…”

Himekoji’s head felt dizzy. His forehead burned and throbbed—probably swollen from the hit.

“Congrats, congrats! Sensei’s truly leveled up. That hit must have taken at least thirty years of practice.”

Even though he was the one getting hit, Himekoji—who deeply understood truths like “real men know when to bow and rise” and “gentlemen can bide their time for revenge”—quickly decided to be “wise and adaptable.” He piped up loudly with flattery toward Sensei.

“Thirty years my butt! I just celebrated my twentieth birthday not long ago!”

Oh crap. His attempt at flattery totally backfired.

Himekoji quickly tried to fix it:

“Whoa! As expected of Hiratsuka-sensei! You’re truly a prodigy! With only twenty years, your ability already surpasses those old hags in their thirties and forties.”

“Th-thirties and forties… O-old hags?! How dare you?! Calling someone in their thirties an old hag? Stop talking nonsense! Thirty is still young!”

Hiratsuka-sensei’s voice suddenly shot up an octave. At the same time, the female teacher’s face visibly darkened.

Crap, another failed flattery attempt…

Himekoji felt really awkward.

“Alright, alright, scram! Fifty-thousand-word self-reflection essay, clean the classroom and my place for a week, oh, and while you’re at it, unclog my sink drain again. That’s your punishment for now.”

“F-fifty thousand words?!”

Himekoji’s eyes widened instantly in disbelief.

How did the number keep getting more ridiculous?

Don’t push your luck, I’m warning you!

Also—

“I can understand cleaning the classroom, but what’s this about cleaning your place? And didn’t I just unclog your drain two weeks ago?”

“Oh, you remember it was only two weeks ago? So, why don’t you reflect on whose fault it is that it clogged again immediately after you “fixed” it?”

Talking about it just made Hiratsuka angrier.

It sounded completely unreasonable, yet she delivered her rant forcefully and without shame.

“Plus, isn’t it perfectly normal for students to help teachers take care of things? Haven’t you learned about respecting teachers? Since you’re already cleaning the classroom, what’s the big deal about cleaning my place too? It’s convenient!”

“Convenient my butt!”

Damn it to hell! Your place is thirteen blocks away from school! How the heck is that convenient?!

And respect for teachers isn’t shown this way!

Am I your dad? Or are you my wife?

Why do you bother me with every little problem?

Damn it all…

Damn that blonde twin tails!

……

Escaping Hiratsuka-sensei’s claws and leaving the office, Himekoji came to report at the Service Club for the first time in a while.

Even though it wasn’t just the aroma of sweets pulling him here, the moment he opened the door, a lovely scent drifted out.

“Ah, Akito! Yahallo!”

Noticing Himekoji enter, Yuigahama paused momentarily. Then, quite deliberately, she suddenly thrust her hand up in the air. Her doughnut-shaped bun wobbled rhythmically along.

Besides sounding enthusiastic and full of energy, that greeting seemed to carry some other complicated feelings too.

The brief silence and stiffness when their eyes met was subtly noticeable. Even though she quickly masked it with a casual smile and hello.

Yuigahama Yui. A classmate and, just like Himekoji, a member of the Service Club.

Her shoulder-length, faintly permed chestnut-brown hair was tied up in that bun.

Popular in class, part of the “normie girl clique led by Yumiko” — usually, she wouldn’t be the type to casually greet a pervert like Himekoji so naturally.

When had she randomly become so close to him, anyway?

As Himekoji pondered this, Yuigahama resumed what she was doing before—

Laying out sweets on the table.

Looks like their after-school “tea time” was underway.

Besides pastries, there was tea.

Steam rose gently from mugs. The one pouring tea from the teapot lightly brushed her slender black hair away from her face. Her delicate profile, like fine white porcelain, was faintly tinged with rose-gold in the slanting afternoon light. As captivating as the rich, aromatic black tea before her—making one want a taste.

Himekoji didn’t know anything about the tea ceremony. But just watching Yukinoshita Yukino’s graceful posture and smooth movements, he could tell she knew what she was doing.

It gave off those “I don’t understand it, but I know it’s amazing” vibes.

Well-mannered, elegant—it wouldn’t be surprising at all if she were some noble young lady.

That was Yukinoshita Yukino.

Once the tea was ready, Yukinoshita sat down quietly.

“Let’s eat.”

At Yukinoshita’s words, Yuigahama quickly clasped her hands together.

“Let’s eat!”

“Please.”

It seemed almost like some children’s tea party. But the two created such a beautiful, picture-perfect atmosphere that Himekoji held back his sarcastic comment.

Right now, if there was anything unnecessary in this room, it was undoubtedly him.

So the fact that they hadn’t prepared tea for him was probably why.

At this moment, even Hikigaya seemed better off—at least she used her signature “invisibility technique” to dodge awkwardness.

But someone like him couldn’t do that.

Wherever he went, he was always the center of attention. He couldn’t “blend into the scenery.”

It wasn’t the first time Himekoji had suffered because of his good looks.

Sometimes, he thought—

Maybe this perverted “System” was heaven’s way of punishing him.

Punishing him for being so charming and handsome.

Too handsome, annoyingly so, even according to fate itself. That probably described someone like him.

……

“Ah, Hikki’s and Akito’s share…”

The moment the cup touched her lips, Yuigahama suddenly spoke as if realizing something.

Then, Yukinoshita seemed to finally notice too.

She placed the teacup she was holding back onto its saucer, her gaze darting swiftly around the table.

She was searching for spare teacups, noticing Hikigaya and Himekoji were without theirs.

If Yukinoshita was doing this for Hikigaya, there might be a sliver of possibility.

But if it was for Himekoji, there was absolutely no chance—at most, it was due to Yukinoshita’s well-bred manners and politeness.

However, naturally, no extra cups were found.

An entirely expected outcome.

…

“No, I brought my own.”

“I’m not thirsty.”

Almost simultaneously, Hikigaya and Himekoji replied.

Yet, the difference was stark.

In the subject of “Social Interaction Methods for the Lonely,” Himekoji had actually lost!

Hikigaya’s preparation was clearly more thorough, her response far more decent and graceful than Himekoji’s.

The girl deftly and familiarily pulled her drink from her school bag.

Oh my, that composure—it had to be the most perfect posture attained only after being seasoned through countless battles!

Truly the “Lonely Master”—he couldn’t help but feel a little admiration.

But—

As the “Pervert Master,” Himekoji would not fall behind here!

[Please choose!]

Hmm, yes, because…

The System was making trouble again!

…

“I choose B!”

Selection complete—

Himekoji took a deep breath and stepped forward, ready to face death.

He strode purposefully towards Yukinoshita.

“Actually… I’ll just drink Yukinoshita’s.”

Before the words even finished, Himekoji had already lunged. With lightning speed, he snatched the teacup right out of Yukinoshita’s hand.

“I absolutely love drinking the tea Yukinoshita has drunk! Especially if it’s tea Yukinoshita drank halfway then spat out to feed me mouth-to-mouth. Lip to lip, wet and soft. Then, at some point, Yukinoshita sticks out her pink little tongue, forcing open my clenched teeth. Her sweet saliva, mixed with the strong black tea, flows right into my mouth—that taste would be the supreme enjoyment! Of course, shy Yukinoshita probably couldn’t do that in front of Yuigahama and Hikigaya, so if that’s impossible, I’ll settle for drinking from Yukinoshita’s used cup. I’ll lick every single inch of the rim really carefully. It must hold the lingering flavor of cute, modest Yukinoshita. Fresh like vanilla, tasty like strawberry, delicious like orange. Ah… so, so wonderful! Simply perfect!”

“Honestly, I just want to lock Yukinoshita in my basement, forcing her to drink from different cups every single moment! I want ceramic cups Yukinoshita drank from, glass cups, plastic cups, stainless steel cups, wooden fish stone cups, cloisonné cups! I want daily-use cups Yukinoshita used, promotional cups, giveaway cups, health cups, disposable cups! I want lovey-dovey cups Yukinoshita used, couples cups, husband-and-wife cups! I want double-walled cups Yukinoshita used, vacuum cups, nano cups! I even want thermos cups Yukinoshita used, beer steins, and Fly♂♂ Cups…”

Himekoji clutched Yukinoshita’s cup blissfully, lost in ecstatic ranting.

The other members of the Service Club were utterly dumbfounded and flushed red.

Finally, someone snapped out of the shock. Seeming truly unable to take it, they interrupted Himekoji with a remark—

“No, wait. Stop your crazy delusions. Honestly, Yukinoshita would never, under any circumstances, use the last cup you mentioned… Besides, can that even be considered a cup?”

Hikigaya’s Dead Fish Eyes rolled weakly upward as she delivered this verdict.

It couldn’t be more spot-on if you tried.

“You mean the Fly♂♂ Cup? A Fly♂♂ Cup is definitely a cup! And why can’t Yukinoshita use it? Because she’s a girl? I tell you, that’s prejudice! A Fly♂♂ Cup…”

“Himekoji-kun, three weeks apart, and you’re still this much of a pervert. Splendid.”

Himekoji’s ongoing rant was coldly cut off by Yukinoshita.

Yukinoshita Yukino’s expression had shifted several times—from the surprise when her cup was snatched, to flushed anger at Himekoji’s torrent of words, and finally to her current calm as she spoke.

The only constant was the bone-chilling cold aura she perpetually directed at Himekoji.

If there were an “Extreme Cold Resistance Challenge,” Himekoji felt that if he just rushed over and hugged Yukinoshita, he’d undoubtedly win the championship.

Hmm, of course, the cost of winning would undoubtedly be his life.

“Splendid? She said ‘splendid’? Huh? Wha—what are you saying, Yukino-chan?”

Yuigahama was completely terrified by Yukinoshita’s strange words and demeanor.

“Of course it’s splendid. The reason to kill Pervert-kun is still just as solid as ever. No, more precisely, it’s even more solid now. Unprecedentedly solid.”

Yukinoshita adjusted her hair and gave a light laugh.

What temperature was her smile?

It must have been 21 degrees below zero.

Incidentally, that’s also the temperature of a morgue.

No mistake. Yukinoshita’s smile was sharp and cold.

Twenty-one degrees below zero cold.

…