Chapter 99: Your Body is Mine Now

…

【Mind and Body Exchange Scroll activating—】

【Activation failed!】

【Error reminder: Incorrect posture. Please try again!】

Damn, who could even manage such a humiliating pose!

【Apologies. The posture is incorrect. Cannot activate.】

Himekoji Akito had had enough.

This stupid item required both subjects to form some kind of Tai Chi Yin-Yang fish posture to work? Seriously, how was that pose any different from 69?!

“Rikka, the exchange contract requires a ritual…”

Akito had just started explaining when his little chuunibyou immediately chimed in, nodding her small head with a serious, all-knowing look:

“Right, right! Absolutely necessary! A must-have!”

Well… it was a good thing Takanashi Rikka was a chuunibyou…

If it were someone normal, they would never have even entertained his perverted idea.

Let alone agreed to cooperate.

…

“Y-You, lie down here first.”

Akito pushed six desks together to form a makeshift altar.

Well, fine, if people insisted it looked more like a bed, he couldn’t really argue.

“Eh? I just have to lie down?”

Takanashi looked curious and eager, scrambling up in one quick movement.

“Hurry up and start! The Evil Eye of the Wicked Lord is ready!”

Takanashi urged excitedly.

Don’t get ready so fast! I’m not ready yet!

Akito facepalmed internally.

Before he climbed onto the bed… damn it! Before he climbed onto the altar—

Right, before officially starting the ritual on this makeshift altar, Akito needed to lay down some ground rules with Takanashi Rikka.

“The pact has three main rules! After we swap bodies: I’ll handle your exam, you handle my classes. No skipping classes! Don’t do any weird things with my body! Also, stay by yourself! Don’t talk to anyone at all! Be mute! Be deaf! Be blind! Be a statue! Until I finish the exam and come back to swap us back!”

Akito rattled off a whole list. The moment Rikka heard it, her head hurt. She clutched her skull in protest.

“Akito, that’s way more than three!”

“Who told you ‘three main rules’ literally means just three? Just memorize all of them properly!”

“Fine, fine.”

Rikka sounded completely dismissive.

“Have you got it memorized?”

Akito had to emphasize it again to the girl.

“Got it, got it! Just hurry up already! Geez, you really are hopeless.”

You really are hopeless…

Hopeless…

What the hell? The damn girl was actually complaining to him?!

It infuriated Akito!

If Takanashi Rikka would actually study properly, none of this nonsense would be needed!

He’d sunk a whole 2000 big bills just to get this scroll!

And now she didn’t even have the decency to seem grateful!

…

It took a lot of effort to swallow his bitter anger.

“Hey… where’s your umbrella?”

Even if the readers had forgotten, Akito hadn’t. He’d been worrying about it the whole time.

“What umbrella?”

Oh, playing dumb, huh?

“That… lacquer whatever… something something kind.”

The name was ridiculously awkward.

“That is not an umbrella! It is the Kurokagesu Prime Type II! It’s a weapon! A powerful weapon! With the amazing attack ability known as 【Gungnir】 and the impenetrable defense skill 【Shield of Darkness】!”

Enough! He didn’t want to hear her chuuni explanations!

“Where is it?”

Akito asked bluntly and directly.

“Strapped to my thigh… Hey! What are you doing?”

Mid-sentence, the little girl suddenly caught on. She looked at Himekoji Akito with deep suspicion.

“Don’t you dare covet it! It’s the sacred, blood-bound weapon of the Evil Eye of the Wicked Lord! Exclusive!”

Hmph. Exclusive? Blood-bound? Didn’t matter. Soon enough, it would be his new “little brother” No. 2!

Seeing how fiercely protective Takanashi Rikka was of that umbrella, there was zero chance she’d hand it over now.

But it didn’t matter. Once they swapped bodies, he could take whatever he wanted, do whatever he pleased, right?

Akito’s mental abacus clicked satisfyingly. After arranging everything else, he slowly and carefully climbed onto the improvised altar.

…

“A-Akito… why are you facing the other way?”

Six-year-old lying on the altar suddenly tilted her head and asked.

“Shut up! That’s a weird thing to focus on!”

Akito felt his cheeks flush red. Immediately annoyed and embarrassed, he snapped angrily.

Damn, this 69-like pose really was unbearably awkward.

“Your… your butt… is facing my… my…”

“Shut the hell up! Just shut it! Do you wanna pass or not?!”

The moment Akito invoked the deadly threat of remedial exams, Takanashi Rikka wisely snapped her mouth shut.

She lay still on the desk, pressing her lips firmly together. She shivered slightly as Akito’s groin area got closer and closer above her.

【Stiffen!】

Not needed! Seriously, staying flaccid is fine!

【Stiffen!】

FU♂CK! Can’t understand human speech?! This damned mess-making r♂bq of a system!

…

“Eeek!…”

Takanashi almost screamed but quickly clamped her mouth shut.

It almost went… inside!

She frantically covered her eyes and turned her head aside. Her entire face was crimson, right down to her neck.

Then, a trembling, near-sobbing murmur came from beneath Akito:

“A-Akito… really does… get excited by lolis, huh…”

“I DON’T!”

Damn it, Akito’s heart hurt!

Getting excited by lolis? He wasn’t that kind of pervert!

And you’re sixteen! Stop calling yourself a loli! Sure, you have a kid’s face and are tiny, but calling yourself a loli just ruins it! At sixteen, at best, you’d be riding the very last carriage of the loli train!

To be strictly honest, there shouldn’t even be lolis in high school!

Yes! Exactly!

…

Desperate to get this awkward moment over with, Akito screamed curses at the system internally.

“Hurry up! Right now! Stop dawdling!”

【Ding!】

【Congratulations!】

【Mind and Body Exchange Scroll activated successfully! Duration: 24 hours.】

The moment the notification sounded, Akito’s head suddenly felt like it was being violently torn apart. Dizziness washed over him.

His soul… felt like it was being forcibly dragged out of his body…

In that split second, Akito heard—

“Explode, reality! Shatter, spirit! Banishment, this world! Mind and Body Exchange!”

A vibrant, energetic shout came from beneath him.

Damn it, how come this annoying girl’s spirit was so damn cheerful? Wasn’t she dizzy?!

That was Akito’s last thought as darkness abruptly consumed his vision. He lost consciousness.

…

Thud. A distinctively shaped umbrella was hurled into the farthest corner of the classroom.

“Even as my Contractor… don’t think you can take… my weapon!”

Takanashi Rikka managed to force these defiant words out before her eyes rolled back and she collapsed into total unconsciousness.