Chapter 62: Would You Love Me If I Was a Host?

……

[Congratulations. The Luxury Gold Fertilizer Version Skill Bundle, worth 9999 2D Points, has been delivered.]

[Open it?]

“Of course.”

Not open it? Should he keep it as a family heirloom for his son instead?

[Congratulations on obtaining a new skill—]

[“Master of Erotic Massage”]

[Skill Description: A massage technique surpassing top male technicians. Makes women devoted to you! Slimming, beauty care, detox, muscle toning, skin smoothing, seven times a night—there’s nothing you can’t do!]

Wait, slimming, beauty care, detox—all that he could understand. But—

What the heck was that last thing about “seven times a night”?!

Wasn’t this supposed to be a healthy, regular massage?!

Just a massage, right?!

Also, he didn’t want to be a male technician!

[Skill Effect: Charm +1, Stamina +5, Amorous Appeal +3.]

[Additionally, regarding the user’s unnecessary worries—]

[Skills are just skills. Whether to use them depends entirely on the user. Therefore, you will NOT be forced to become a male technician. Rest assured.]

“Whew—… You should have said that earlier…”

Himekoji Akito got quite a scare.

He feared that the System, given its usual tendencies, would surely bundle this skill with some scam of a task.

Relieved, relieved…

[Ding!]

[Task Triggered!]

So much for feeling relieved!

[Please choose—]

[A: Apply for a job as a male technician at a host club to hone your “Master of Erotic Massage” skill for one month.]

[B: As a light novel author, perform an erotic massage for one of your female readers as fan appreciation. Deadline: one month.]

[Task Reward: 1000 2D Points and one random item.]

[Failure Penalty: Become the top host at a host club. For life.]

What the heck? Weren’t you supposed to let me rest easy?

Damn [Beep—] System! Is this how you cheat your customers?!

[Please choose—]

No matter how much Himekoji Akito mentally cursed (“Grass Mud Horse style!”), the System remained cold and mechanical, relentlessly urging him.

…

How to choose?

A? Apply to a host club? Be a male technician for a month?

God, he’d rather die!

B? Perform an erotic massage for a female reader? Fan appreciation?

Appreciate what?! This is smashing fans, right?! This is totally smashing fans!

Though he wasn’t against this option… no, it was practically his dream, but—

Himekoji had NO female fans, NO female fans, NO female fans…

That made sense, right? What girl would read a novel like “Risque Jokes” – a title screaming high shame levels, starting right from its very name! Full of yellowness and violence!

It was like a novel with “Pervert” right in its title…

Hmm, female readers? What was that? Himekoji Akito had never heard of such a thing.

[Please choose!]

…

“Alright, alright! I’ll choose!”

Himekoji clutched his throbbing head and yelled grumpily—

“I choose B!”

[Congratulations, choice successful.]

“Whew—”

Only then did the waves of pain seem to recede.

Sigh! Disaster. Forced by the system to dig himself another huge pit.

Himekoji shook his head and sighed a long, depressed sigh.

So, female reader, female reader… did ‘female reader’ just mean any female who had read his book?

Although the deadline was a full month, Himekoji didn’t dare procrastinate day by day. He started worrying about it early.

The failure penalty was something he absolutely could not accept…

“Become the top host at a host club” – just thinking about it made his legs go weak and his back ache! It was terrifying!

Himekoji went back to thinking about possible ways to complete this task—

Perform an erotic massage for one of his female readers?

If taken literally, as long as a female had read his book, she counted… so, did that include his editor?

Hmm, might as well be honest here. Himekoji Akito’s editor was a woman named Machida Sonoko, a black-stockinged, G-cup bombshell.

Would a light novel author suddenly scheming against his own female editor be way too crazed?

Ah, whatever. He’d done crazier things before anyway.

Himekoji had just this thought and instantly felt refreshed and clear-minded.

So, after over a year as a pervert, had his lower limit really been fed to the dogs?

Hmm, most likely.

…

Opening a single skill from the bundle had already caused so much trouble. Himekoji Akito couldn’t help but feel overwhelmed.

Luckily, the next few skills were much more standard compared to that first one.

[Congratulations on obtaining new skill—]

[“Voice Mimicry”]

[Skill Description: Your outstanding talent allows you to effortlessly mimic anyone’s voice. The future of comedy needs you!]

Sorry, he wasn’t interested in telling jokes…

Himekoji immediately skipped over this skill and looked at the next one.

[Congratulations on obtaining new skill—]

[“Option Immunity”]

[Skill Description: While this skill is active, no general selection choices will be triggered.]

[Duration: 24 hours.]

Huh? Option Immunity? Immunity? IMMUNITY!

Good heavens! Such a useful skill existed?

Why wasn’t it offered earlier?!

Seeing this skill, Himekoji Akito almost wept with joy.

Although the description stated it could only be used once a month, for only a day, one day was still enough!

At least for that one day, he could live as an ordinary person, peacefully.

That was rare!

…

Without a doubt, “Option Immunity” was the most valuable and practical skill Himekoji Akito had obtained from this bundle.

After browsing the three permanent skills, the next were five one-time skills. Football dominated three of them.

They were—

[Football · Dribbling Master]

[Football · Passing Master]

[Football · Striker Talent]

[Sprinting · Hundred-Meter Dash Master]

[Racing · Mt. Akina’s Drift King]

But hold on, hadn’t he retired from professional football? Why dump so many football skills on him now?

Whatever. Apart from the sprinting skill which might prove useful if he was ever running late, the others weren’t really practical at all.

That was the standard for system-granted skills anyway—

Seeming impressive but ultimately useless…

Himekoji shook his head and exited the system interface.

He raised his hand, rubbed his chin, and went back to stewing over that troublesome “Master of Erotic Massage” task.

……