Chapter 4: Sensei Hiratsuka Shizuka Actually Gave Me a Pervert Card!

“If you can’t explain, then make yourself explain! If you don’t give me a proper reason today, forget about going to class!”

The female teacher had no intention of letting him off easy.

Himekoji Akito stayed silent for a few seconds, then reluctantly spoke. “Uh… I was forced.”

“Forced by whom?”

“…Another person. Someone else inside my head.”

The moment he said it, Himekoji Akito sensed danger. Oh no, this last-minute excuse sounded way too lame!

“Come here. I’ll give you a Buff.”

Sensei Hiratsuka motioned toward him with her hand.

“Um, should I maybe put my clothes on first…?”

“Quiet.”

“…Yes.”

Himekoji Akito shuffled forward hesitantly until he stood before the female teacher.

Thwack!

The sound rang out sharp and clear.

Sensei Hiratsuka mercilessly flicked Himekoji Akito’s forehead with her middle finger—the only one without nail polish.

“Ow! That really hurt, sensei!”

Truthfully, it hadn’t hurt at all, but Himekoji understood that playing it up like this would probably spare him worse punishment later.

He was an expert at this kind of thing!

Yeah… an expert honed by receiving Sensei Hiratsuka Shizuka’s criticism.

“Sigh.” Sensei Hiratsuka unexpectedly sighed. “Honestly… I’m not really angry.”

It happened! She actually said it! Again!

This always led to complicated trouble. It was just as bad as saying, “I won’t get mad, just tell me honestly.” And so far, Himekoji Akito had never met anyone who said those words and didn’t end up furious afterward.

After her comment, Sensei Hiratsuka paused briefly. She then pulled a pack of cigarettes from her breast pocket. Like some middle-aged man, she tapped the filter several times against the table—Thud, thud. Only then did she use her cheap, 100-yen lighter to ignite the cigarette with a distinct click.

“I know you don’t have many friends… No, to be precise, you don’t have any friends. So it’s only natural your personality turned a bit strange… a bit warped.”

Hold on! Why was it suddenly just accepted as fact that he had zero friends? Himekoji Akito’s eyes widened. Being labeled friendless was downright humiliating!

“No, sensei! It’s true my friend count is very low, but saying I have none is completely wrong!”

His male pride—no, his human pride—refused to accept this “loner” label.

“There’s no need to be stubborn in front of your teacher. The rumors about Toyonoki Academy’s ‘Top 5 Most Avoided People’ reach even me.” Her gaze softened. “Don’t worry though. I wouldn’t tease you about it.”

Sensei Hiratsuka’s eyes, warm yet obscured like the sun gently shaded by a hand, radiated reassurance.

A deeply comforting feeling.

Wrong! Stop comforting me! Cut it out! Stop looking at me with such gentle understanding! Doesn’t that just make me seem super pathetic?! Hey, before you said all this, I never thought lacking friends was something deserving pity!

Though… it is kinda embarrassing…

And wait—that moistness in your eyes can’t be tears of sympathy, right? No, no way! It has to be just your eyes stinging from the cigarette smoke. Yeah, that’s definitely it!

He had to overturn this unfounded, outrageous “zero friends” theory instantly!

“Sensei… you are my friend!”

“…Huh?”

Sensei Hiratsuka was so stunned by Himekoji Akito’s sudden proclamation that the cigarette she barely started smoking slipped from her fingers and fell to the floor.

The atmosphere froze solid for a good ten seconds—

“Sorry. You’re a pervert. We wouldn’t fit.”

Reacting swiftly, the female teacher instantly severed any connection, even adding a clearly disgusted look—“Ugh! Gross!”—even though mere moments ago, she’d been feeling genuine pity for this same student.

This… She must be doing this on purpose!

Plus—fit? Fit how? I only asked to be friends! Quit rejecting me like I confessed my love!

And even if I did confess, shouldn’t the polite response be: “You’re a good person”—like handing me a Good Person Card?! What in the world is this Pervert Card?