Chapter 1: Sorry, I Might Be A Pervert

April’s sky could perhaps be called brimming with spring. Pure white clouds drifted across bright blue, while pink petals scattered along both sides of the hill.

It was morning. Looking up, you could see the warm, gentle sun, and the moon not yet fully hidden from before dawn—surrounded by little stars. Another sight filled my view—

an unexpected visitor,

bigger, rounder, and closer than the sun or moon. A white UFO darting right across my eyes.

“Huh?”

Just as Himekoji Akito froze in surprise, the “flying” part of that object lazily quit. With a pat, it fell to the ground. No dreams. No pride. No purpose. Just rolling miserably down the hill like a tumbleweed.

Now, Himekoji Akito recognized it. A white beret hat.

Ah. So that’s it. Calling it a UFO was stretching the truth far too much. Not enough surface area against the wind. Material not light enough to fly far.

How embarrassing, little hat. You rolled and tumbled pitifully on the ground, like a chicken flapping its wings despite knowing flight was impossible. Please. Give up. Your life doesn’t need this pointless struggle!

Just as Himekoji Akito got swept up in these completely irrelevant thoughts—

“Ah, aaaaaah~! Wait! Wait for me~!”

A voice came carried by the wind, stronger now without anyone noticing.

Naturally, Himekoji Akito turned his head toward the sound. Probably to confirm whose loud, pleasant, crystal-clear voice echoed down the hill this was.

“My haaaaaaat~!”

“Ah…”

Midway up the slope where cherry blossoms danced down, stood a girl frozen in place around his age.

Wind tossed up her beautiful hair held down by her left hand—yet strands repeatedly fought free, fluttering endlessly. Like the scent of blooming flowers, it rushed right at Himekoji Akito.

Mhm. That scent… could it be… the fragrance of a virgin?

Wait! Why am I even guessing this?!

What flashed stunningly into view next: her clean, white dress; fair skin on her thighs; and beneath her wind-tossed skirt… white.

Well. In short, the color really matched her underwear.

“It’s rolling away… ah.”

“Ah…”

Her soft gasp seemed insufficient, so she made another helpless sound. Then, lifting her gaze from the distant hat back toward Himekoji Akito, their eyes met.

Himekoji Akito knew EXACTLY what the right thing to do here was. Undoubtedly. Pick up the hat and return it politely, like a gentleman.

BUT! His life ever since crossing into this 2D world had… NEVER once been right!

He felt strangely confident! Though… maybe confidence wasn’t needed here…?

【CHOICE!】

【A: Pick up the hat, stuff it in your pants to warm it… then flee!】

【B: Pick up the hat and make the girl an offer—”Excuse me! Could I trade this hat for the white, warm, freshly worn… underwear making my blood roar with excitement from under your skirt right now?” Then, rip them off without waiting for her answer!】

【Completion Reward: 10 2D Points】

OF COURSE!

It had to happen!

Himekoji Akito slapped his forehead, letting out a frustrated sigh. At moments like this… he just wanted to be left alone.

But of course… that wasn’t allowed. He had to choose NOW! Immediately! Because… the rules said so.

Why? Damnit! HE wanted to ask why too!

No choice? Then be tortured to death by headaches…

Sigh.

For Himekoji… this sure was a uniquely crafted “golden finger”.

Hey! Let’s negotiate! Take away my dignity as a crosser! Let me live a boring, ordinary life! Anything! Just please take back this “golden finger” system dedicated to turning me into a complete pervert!

Though… if you can even call THIS a golden finger…

【CHOICE!】

Complaints and rants were useless. Himekoji Akito proved that once again.

The System already buzzed impatiently inside his mind.

Fine! Fine! At least… he was somewhat used to this now, Himekoji Akito knew the drill –

How can you get stronger without being a pervert?

Not daring to be perverted? What kind of man are you?

Is being a little perverted really wrong for a man?

…

Why… is this the sort of thing I comfort myself with so naturally?!

Anyway… facing bad or worse choices… he just had to pick the less terrible one.

“I choose A!” Himekoji Akito mentally shouted, going all-in.

“…Heh… hehehe…”

At the same time… a laugh escaped him. Dull. Dark. Utterly broken and resigned.

On the slope, Katou Megumi looked troubled, her gaze shifting between this suspicious stranger and her rolling hat.

“Huh?”

A soft gasp escaped her.

Perhaps… he wasn’t a stranger. Squinting, Katou Megumi realized—this was unmistakably her classmate! School-wide fame as the “Perverted Prince”—Himekoji Akito.

Handsome… yet surprisingly a pervert. Definitely on every teacher and student’s “never interact” blacklist.

Katou Megumi started walking down to retrieve her hat.

Watching this, Himekoji scoffed mentally. Over my dead body!—

“Wait just a sec!”

Himekoji Akito called out, stopping her.

“Huh…?”

Her eyes seemed to question, but he had no time to wonder. He bent down…

“Th-Thank… Huh?”

Half of her thanks got stuck in her throat.

Because what unfolded before the girl instantly flipped the world upside down—

That’s right. The “Perverted Prince” started his daily pervert activities bright and early! He picked up the hat AND WITHOUT A WORD—STUFFED IT DOWN HIS PANTS. His! Pants!

Not into his pocket! Not returning her lost property! He stuffed it into. His. PANTS! More accurately—shoved it right against underwear possibly stained from yesterday’s solo excitement without being washed yet!

(… Wait! This terrible possibility… Lord Himekoji REFUSES to accept it!)

Himekoji Akito’s lower half suddenly bulged notably.

“Huh…”

Maybe we should praise the girl’s composure. Instead of a shrill scream or blushing furiously while covering her face like most girls would… she simply let out a soft, meaningless sigh.

Thanks for that! Screaming would attract people… It’d be super awkward for me, caught doing something this perverted… Even if being awkward is normal thanks to the Perverse Choice System messing up my brain daily… Doesn’t mean I actually enjoy this!

So then—

“Thanks for this!”

The moment he spoke, Himekoji took off sprinting.

The wind’s pretty noisy today…

A grateful farewell tossed into the breeze? More like thanking her for gifting him a hat perfect for his perverted urges. Honestly! What kind of thanks was THAT?!

…

Sorry, everyone!

I’ve brought shame upon all seniors crossing into this 2D world!

Because… I! Am! A! PERVERT!

…

【CHOICE!】

【A: Collect Chapter】

【B: Collect Chapter + Smash Recommendation Button】