Chapter 1: I’m the King?
Chapter 1: I’m the King?
“Danger! Protect Your Majesty the King!”
Someone near his ear suddenly shrieked like a hen that had lost her eggs.
Sun Fei was annoyed.
His eyes fluttered open hazily.
Right in front of him, a giant, gleaming wolf-toothed arrow was streaking toward his face with a sharp whistling sound, its fletchings howling through the air.
“Holy shit, what’s going on? Which bastard shot at me?”
Sun Fei snapped awake in an instant. His hair practically stood on end.
Sadly, he was hit before he could even figure out what was happening.
Thud!
The dull sound of the wolf-toothed arrow smashing into his helmet rang out.
Sun Fei instantly felt heaven and earth spinning around him. A roar filled both his ears as countless playful golden stars darted about his vision. Like a rag doll blasted by a machine gun, he flew backward through the air.
“Ah… damn it!”
He screamed, certain the pose he flew through the air must have been incredibly uncool.
“By the God of War! The King has been hit! Save him!”
“Soldiers, catch the King!”
“Andy! Andy!! You stupid pig! Stop standing there like an idiot! Go fetch the Mage for healing!”
“Attention! Those bastard black-clad scum below are starting their assault!”
“Damn it! Damn it!! Who the hell can tell me how those scumbags got Siege Ladders?!”
“They’re coming! Archers ready… fire!”
Amidst the chaotic shrieks and disorganized footsteps flooding his hearing, Sun Fei felt utterly lost while still airborne. ‘King? Mage? Archers? Siege? Where is this? Are we filming a movie? What kind of crazy plot is this?’
Zero point zero one seconds later, he finally landed—
First, his butt crashed hard onto unyielding ground. Then, even worse, his helmeted head smashed violently against a sharp jut of something hard.
Instantly, the playful golden stars swirling before his eyes multiplied. As the surrounding chaos of sounds grew louder, his mind began to slip away again.
“The King? Why… does it sound like they’re talking about me?”
“Screw that! Who cares about some damned King! Just don’t let me find out which bastard shot that arrow at me! I’ll make him regret it!”
That was his fuzzy thought.
Getting arrow-shot in the head the moment he opened his eyes? Sun Fei was both terrified and furious, cursing vehemently in his mind.
But very quickly, a tidal wave of pain surged in. Lying on the ground like a hamster that had nibbled heavy-duty rat poison, his legs barely twitched a few times before he passed out in total darkness.
…
…
He had no idea how much time passed.
Sun Fei woke up.
To be more precise, a sliver of consciousness returned.
He felt like he was nestled on a soft cloud, yet his body was wracked with soreness and numbness, utterly immobile. The back and front of his head throbbed dully, as if slammed dozens of times with a heavy club. He couldn’t open his eyes, only faintly hearing hushed whispers beside him.
It sounded like two female voices.
“Angela sister, you’re such a fool… Honestly, why bother with whether he lives or dies? If he died, you’d easily inherit everything in Shampoo City… Heehee… Then you wouldn’t have to marry this famously stupid oaf anymore… Heehee…”
The voice was clear and melodious, like that of a fourteen or fifteen-year-old Lori.
“Shut up!” snapped the second voice, soft and sweet but now clearly annoyed. After a brief pause, seemingly calming herself, she continued more gently, “Gemma, my silly sister, how can you spout such nonsense? Don’t ever let me hear you talk like that again… No matter what, Alexander is my fiancé!”
“Alexander? Who the hell is that cursed unlucky grandson?”
Hearing this, Sun Fei’s head was full of question marks, still completely lost.
Suddenly, a delicate fragrance drifted into his nostrils. Like musk, or orchids – elusive and faint, yet offering an indescribable bliss.
A woman’s natural scent.
Holy shit… and a pure maiden, too?
Sun Fei’s pulse quickened.
As a cultured, principled, idealistic, and well-versed ‘Four-Have Senior Woman Appraiser’ (academically termed as an expert lover watcher), Sun Fei didn’t need to overthink it. An instant judgment formed, fueled by absolute confidence in this particular skill.
Sun Fei strained to half-open his eyes.
What he saw stunned him.
Because he was suddenly aware that he was inside a Great Hall steeped in medieval European grandeur. Opulent golden decorations, exquisite furniture, and the faint, soothing scent of sandalwood permeating the air painted the hall in dreamlike hues.
He froze momentarily, then cautiously tilted his head to observe.
Two graceful figures appeared in his line of sight, one near, one far.
Standing farther away was a young Lori dressed in maid’s attire. Her light golden hair was simply tied back in a ponytail. She was pouting, a clear look of displeasure on her face.
‘This little brat,’ Sun Fei thought, ‘must be the one hoping that unlucky Alexander guy would kick the bucket earlier.’ He eyed her sideways: ‘Tsk, only a kid and already so venomous! Truly, there’s no poison stronger than a woman’s heart!’
Shifting his gaze closer.
Sun Fei realized he was sprawled like a dead pig on a large, deep-red bed adorned with gold inlay. His head rested on plush velvet cushions. A stunning young woman, draped in a loosely fitted, high-waisted purple noblewoman’s dress, sat anxiously beside the bed.
She was sitting sideways.
A cascade of ink-black hair was gathered gently behind her with a purple silk ribbon. Her skin, radiant and smooth like frost or a swan’s feathers, peeked out where it wasn’t covered by the hair. The high, narrow bodice of her purple dress accentuated every curve of her figure in a way that was mesmerising.
The beautiful young woman leaned forward slightly.
Sun Fei pretended to squint, his gaze instinctively traveling past the delicate purple lace edging her collar’s neckline. He caught a fleeting glimpse of two alarming swells of paleness and the shadowy ravine between them that promised ruinous depths.
At this point, Sun Fei couldn’t look any longer.
He took a discreet, deep breath.
A burning sensation ignited in his nostrils. Another moment of looking and a nosebleed was imminent. The ‘little brother’ beneath the blanket also began making its presence known, stirring upwards to form a noticeable tent against the covers.
Hurl hurl hurl “Amitabha… such sin… such sin!”
As a seasoned connoisseur who had witnessed countless island nation adult films, it was utterly shameful to be completely defeated, stripped bare of defenses, after just that one hasty glance. Truly pathetic.
He forced himself to shift his focus elsewhere. Questions like: “Who is this woman?”, “How did I get here?”, “Where is this place?” began crowding his mind.
“Cough! Cough! Cough!” Sun Fei deliberately coughed a few times.
“You’re awake?”
The stunningly beautiful, dark-haired Angela turned at the sound. Leaning closer, her exquisite, fair face immediately brightened with pleasant surprise: “Alexander! How do you feel? Does your wound still hurt? Doctor Alvin said you need lots of rest…” she hurried to a small table nearby, pouring water from a crystal cup.
“I…uh… what’s going on?” Sun Fei mumbled, trying to draw more information from her.
But the moment the words left his mouth, his heart clenched with sudden alarm.
Sun Fei realized something he couldn’t believe—
The ancient, strangely rhythmic language this beautiful maiden was using… even Sun Fei, from a university linguistics department, had never encountered it before. Stranger still, despite its unknown nature, he understood it perfectly… and could even speak it himself.
“Alexander, have you forgotten? You were leading the soldiers defending the city when a treacherous enemy shot you with a feathered arrow… By the God of War, thank goodness you wore your helmet! It was only a light wound…” Angela explained, her cool, bonelessly smooth hand gently touching his forehead. Relief flickered in her eyes, “Wonderful, your temperature is normal… Doctor Alvin said as long as there’s no fever, everything is fine! You’ll recover quickly… Alexander, you are such a brave King!”
“Me? Alexander? King?” Sun Fei was utterly dumbfounded.
“Yes! Haha, Shampoo City’s young and valiant King! Your sudden appearance on the city walls boosted the soldiers’ failing morale… Inspired by your courage, our brave soldiers finally repelled another savage assault by the enemy!” The beautiful Angela smiled as she spoke.
Sun Fei felt something was off.
He couldn’t shake the feeling that this beautiful girl’s tone sounded exactly like a kindergarten teacher coaxing a wailing child to take a nap.
“He’s no brave King!” The golden-haired Lori named Gemma immediately seized her chance to interrupt, rolling her eyes scornfully, “If it wasn’t for Lord Bazel pushing him again and again, would Alexander have willingly gone up the wall? I recall he nearly pissed himself putting on his armor… As for inspiring morale? Well, if seeing their King act like an idiot—dumb enough to get shot clean off the wall mere seconds after stepping up—counts, then I guess he did technically inspire them!”
The little brat’s tone was dripping with malice.
Sun Fei vaguely sensed hostility shimmering in the Lori’s gaze.
But honestly, he had zero time to argue with this snot-nosed half-pint kid at that moment.
His mind was reeling.
What in the world?! Wasn’t I just knocked out cold at my dorm entrance? How did waking up land me in some godforsaken unheard-of Shampoo City? And turned me into a King named Alexander? And it seems this beauty, hotter than any succubus, is my fiancée?
Sun Fei slapped his forehead, deeply suspicious. Was this a prank? Or… did I travel through time?
He turned the idea over carefully. It didn’t feel like a prank. This Western-style girl Angela was unnaturally stunning, surpassing any description like ‘fish-sinking/swan-falling/moon-hiding/flower-blooming’. Who would pay a fortune to hire a breathtaking foreign beauty just to prank him?
Besides, that sharp-tongued golden-haired Lori nearby was incredibly cute too.
Crucially, this strange, archaic language… he’d never heard it before, yet he understood it perfectly…
He began rapidly sifting through the evidence.
Translator: Hello, I noticed that the old version of this novel’s translation has been removed from NU, so I retranslated it. I hope you enjoy it!